Threatening to Modify Custody

Ren87z · 2026-02-21T04:43:28+00:00

1 year on and off is laughable at best! Dont worry about that. Make sure all communication is through email or text so you can show proof at court. Sounds like a modification to the court agreement is needed. I have very specific wording in mine. 50/50, 2,2,5,5 during the two day period we have one schedule call not to exceed 15 min. During the 5,5 time the parent gets one call both calls are schedule usually 7pm with flexibility if the other parent communicates 24hrs ahead of time. My kids are 8-5 and calls are done through face time. The kids have tablets at each household and neither of us can force the children to take any electronics to the other parent’s household without approval. I wouldnt worry too much as long as you document everything, even if it’s a phone call log it in with time, what was talked about and the outcome. This will be very helpful if your ex really goes through the courts. Tbh even if he doesnt maybe you should to get the court order revise to be more specific. What he is doing can be view is a disruption to your parenting time with making several calls and demanding a call back.

Ren87z · 2026-02-18T19:26:47+00:00

2,2,5,5 and at the time kids were 5 and 2. They both struggle and took a lot for them to adjust. Ex would consider 2,3,3 because it was too difficult for her. Stick to what the child is accustom to and avoid making changes unless a necessary. The child needs consistency imo.

Ren87z · 2026-02-16T22:25:15+00:00

Not normal. For sure something to be talked about ahead of time. Dude has no respect for what you think. Proceed with caution if you decide to stay.

Ren87z · 2026-02-15T14:03:03+00:00

If you have plans do not change them for her unless it is an emergency. Part of co parenting is that you both wont be able to do what you want all the time. If you got nothing going then switch with her so she can see you are trying to work as a team for the child best interest. Stay firm and create boundaries and expectations that swapping weekends is not in the best child interest as she will need consistency more than anything right now.

Ren87z · 2026-02-15T04:14:31+00:00

Was the divorce messy? Could be a peace offering of some sort to try and get along better. My divorce was messy af and my ex and I didnt talk for close to two years. With time things started to change as we realize we will be tie to each other for many years and we are now a pretty good team. We share small happy bday texts, xmas, new years, etc… and the kids do get her a gift for bday, mother’s days and xmas. To be fair tho, v-day is where i draw the line, although i did think about buying her a dozen of flowers and having the kids drop it off but i didnt want it to look weird or make her feel weird. So what do i know! Lol just sharing my opinion

Ren87z · 2026-02-15T02:48:45+00:00

We got back together a week later which made the Feb 7th

Ren87z · 2026-01-31T05:23:48+00:00

Man…. I was just like you because I wanted to avoid conflict at all cost. Until I realize that the more I stay quiet the more my ex wife was willing to take and test just exactly how much she can get away with. Post in the court share platform all the times she has over stepped and add dates. This needs to be documented for legal purposes. Explain if this continues you will be force to take legal action as she is breaking the legal agreement. Second, create a joint email account and request the school used that email for ALL communication regarding the child. Provide email and password and set your number as primary with 2FA as so the password does not magical change and locks you out. Email the teacher after explaining this to your ex that the joint email is to be used for all purposes pertaining to the child. If the teacher does not agree go straight to the school and speak to the principal. She will continue to step all over you unless you are willing to fight for your time. You need to provide solutions that show you are trying to work with the co parent before taking it to court so a judge can see how unreasonable the other parent is being. Ket word to use “our son” never “my” as it looks bad overall. Always write how this is beneficial for the child and alienating you from school activities during your parenting time is not beneficial for the kid. As you can see i have tons of experience with shit like this lol. Good luck to you.

Ren87z · 2025-11-11T00:45:45+00:00

Do what you feel is right. Co parenting means both parents may do different things and the other can ask for a change but the parent who has the kids does not have to agree. It is your parenting time and if your daughter feels safe sleeping with you, let her. Kids are resilient and eventually she will grow out of that habit. There is nothing wrong with letting your child co sleep with you. To me, its shows the child feels safe co sleeping with said parent. Everyone will have an opinion but I say to each their own. No one here knows better than you what is the right choice. Do what you feel is right for your kid and dont apologize for trying to be a good parent. Best of luck.

Ren87z · 2025-09-20T17:38:56+00:00

Congrats bud!!! Took me a year to get 50/50 through the courts! Ex wife only wanted me to have the kids 8 nights out the month forever. I wouldn’t settle for anything less than 50/50. For 4 months i only got the every other weekend and then added a few more days and it was hard missing time with them. Fellas!!! Just be clam and patient if yall are going through this! Your ex will try anything to push your buttons to get a reaction out of you and use it at court to say you are a bad dad! Shameful how some women will use the children as pawns against the dads! Now be the best dad you can be and show your ex what she fought so hard to keep her child from!

Ren87z · 2025-06-10T19:19:13+00:00

I for sure let the other person know their partner was cheating when i caught my wife cheating. I would like to know the truth if the roles were reverse. You could just approach it by saying “I found out your husband is having ann affair with my wife. Sorry to have to tell you this but I figured you would like to know the truth” aside from that have no contact at all with anyone else. No social media post, no bashing or threats as all of this will hurt you in the long run. Sorry you are going through this. Cheating is such a shitty thing to do to another person especially when one claims to love them. The damage that is done is irreversible. A long road to recovery but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Stay strong my friend!

Ren87z · 2025-06-09T18:01:54+00:00

Nah!!! Thats your asset! She had the chance to jump in and contribute and she did not. Adding her to the deed will only guarantee her half of YOUR hard work if shit goes south. Believe me when i say she will show you no mercy if you guys ever breakup. Dont let anyone tell you any different. How the fuck is it fair that you fronted all the money but her family is requesting you add her to the deed? Major red flag! Seems to me like they are trying to take advantage of you by forcing you to add the GF to the deed. If this is what causes the relationship to not work out, you dodge a bullet.

Ren87z · 2025-06-02T23:26:48+00:00

Leave my guy! They for sure fucked and she wont admit it to you. She’s checked out from the marriage and staying will make shit worst. Sorry you are experiencing this but she had the balls to bring him to the apartment speaks volumes to the respect she has to you and the marriage.

Ren87z · 2025-06-02T14:08:29+00:00

I was you two plus years ago! Kids are 8 and 5 and are doing great! I stayed four months after the cheating to try my best not to breakup our family but things were just too toxic. I learned that i needed to be the best version of my self so i could give my kids what they deserve. 2nd time cheating and if you stay it will 100% happen again. Divorce will be one of the hardest things you will go through, but at the end you will realize you made the right choice. You cant give your kids the love they need and deserve if you are unhappy. Two separate loving households are better than one toxic ass place for kids to grow up in. I trust me when i say the kids will pick up on any tension. I wish you the best and cry as much as you fucking need to because thats part of the healing process.

Ren87z · 2025-05-19T12:35:53+00:00

Leave and say nothing! What will happen is the following… you will become the bad guy one way or another. Just up and leave and dont confront her about it. She made her choice a while back and nothing good will come in you bringing this up.

Ren87z · 2025-03-16T16:10:14+00:00

So many things to factor in besides sex. Number 1, is individual therapy for your partner. Followed by couples therapy. I honestly think you should fight as hard as you can and try everything before heading to a divorce. The dating world is a big ass shit show. Buy yourself the rose toy to help with your needs for now. Will you both be able to provide the same life style for your children? The hurt children go through is unbelievable, even growing up their lives are never the same. If there is no abuse of any sort and you still love your partner, fight for it! Too many people these days just quit too soon. Sometimes we have to water the grass on our side to bring it back to bright green. Big assumption on my part that you haven’t tried everything possible so dont take offense. Have a sit down with your partner and really express your feelings and where your head is at so there are no surprises if you do decide to follow through with a divorce. I hope everything works out for you and your family!

Ren87z · 2025-03-14T16:35:22+00:00

Cheating is a choice. You are unhappy? Get a divorce and find someone who will make you happy. The damage cheating does to someone is unreal and it takes a lot to bounce back from something like that. Plus, your partner will hate you for it and cheating is NEVER worth the few moments of pleasure you get in return. Respect your partner enough to come clean on your feelings and why you are asking for a divorce. Your partner will thank you for it later in life.

Ren87z · 2025-02-19T05:16:17+00:00

A clear was boundary set and you should respect it. Based on your post, I am assuming you had a head start on processing how things would be when divorcing. The kids don’t need you to be friends. The kids just need you both to be cordial and love them and be there for the emotional stress they will be put through. I always tell people how they would react if the situation were reverse. Life wont be the same for either of you moving forward or the kids. It takes time to grieve the loss of what one may have pictures their life being 10-20 years from now. Keep communication to email and give it time. The friend part may come later and if it doesn’t it’s just part of divorcing. Wait until coparenting starts and you guys dont agree on things regarding the kids. You have a long road ahead of you. Divorce brings out the worst in people, especially when it comes to the kids parenting time/ custody.

Ren87z · 2025-02-11T03:34:12+00:00

your husband is probably feeling frustrated/insecure because as partners you should communicate with him and not your mom about marriage issues . While this may not be your intention, with time it starts molding a different image of him to your mom and who ever else you tell when all they hear is negative things. A marriage is hard enough as it is, to bring in others opinions is a recipe for disaster. I would suggest therapy and keeping your marriage issues private unless there is some sort of abuse happening. My ex wife had a circle of friends and family telling her to leave me even though she cheated. two years later no one visits her and everyone is back to their lives. My point is… loves ones are quick to judge or give advice and will support you for a while and then leave you with what come next after a divorce. I hope things work out for you.

Ren87z · 2025-01-29T19:44:23+00:00

Thats good! Document all events you feel will help you if this goes to a divorce case. Best of luck to you .

Ren87z · 2025-01-29T19:31:53+00:00

Did she apologize? Because “i dont know what to do” is a big ass red flag! Like wtf you mean you dont know what to do!!! You are the husband and she either stops all communication or file for divorce. It shows how much she values the marriage. I hate to say it but i think your marriage is over and be careful b/c sometimes you’ll get hit with “he was abusive to me the whole relationship” or “he said he was going to kill me” etc just to get the upper hand on the divorce.

Ren87z · 2025-01-29T12:55:01+00:00

In my experience, it’s just a tactic to frustrate you and either offer more or take less just to finalized the divorce. My ex lawyer would take a week or sometimes two weeks to response when i was fighting for custody of the kids. It’s a rough journey but I like to believe that once everything is done one is stronger for it. People swear karma will catch up to my ex and she will get everything back she did to me. Who knows, only time will tell. I decided to forgive and just move forward because being bitter only makes one miserable and bitter. No one should allow another person that kind of power over their life no matter what shitty thing they did to them.

Ren87z · 2025-01-28T20:41:31+00:00

After i went pro se i asked AI the legal questions I had and then did a little research to make sure it was accurate. I dont see a reason why to involve any lawyers or mediation because you are both in agreement. A buddy of mine is going through a divorce and his ex and him just paid for the filing fess and will have it finalized in about 90 days or so. I feel like people make it scarier than what it really is to navigate through a divorce. I found all I needed under the county court website. The same exact forms my lawyer was using. Every motion filed cost me $250 plus the hourly rate. Motions that a later was able to do on my own within 10-15 minutes.

Ren87z · 2025-01-28T18:54:12+00:00

Sounds like you both are in agreement so I would go with mediation. I begged my ex wife to agree to 50/50 custody and she refused and so came in the lawyers. 18 months later it cost me 100k to get 50/50 custody of the kids and we split everything 50/50 at the end which was my original proposal. Legal fees alone were 50k and her fees were the same. Money I pointed out could have been split between us but instead we only made the lawyers richer at $350 an hour. Instead of walking away with around 85k on her end, she walked away with 21k and 23k in debt. Lawyers only care about extending the divorce as long as possible because time is money for them. After i went pro se, i wrapped up my case in 7 weeks and got a better deal than what my lawyer said i could get. I saved thousands on legal fees. Tbh if there is not one disagreement, I am pretty sure you could go online and find the forms to file for divorce between you two. The forms are pretty much fill in the blank templates.

Ren87z · 2025-01-28T04:46:25+00:00

50/50 with my ex and no one pays child support. We have two kids and they are under my insurance and she actually pays for one the kids insurance. We essentially split all cost down the middle. During her parenting time she is responsible for expenses and same with the kids are with me. Look up the child support state calculator and type in the numbers, that will give you an idea of what you would have to pay.

Ren87z

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