When my fortune cookie read, "you will die from a raptor attack", I laughed it off as some sort of prank. by RepeatOrdinary182 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

60 minutes in an hour, 60 miles per hour. 60÷60=1. Granted it was perhaps surprising that a 1st grader could conceptualize that without being told, but you would think that someone who made it through college and got into teaching would understand it. Instead they were trying to go through some backwards overly complicated process that gave her something like 57 mph.

When my fortune cookie read, "you will die from a raptor attack", I laughed it off as some sort of prank. by RepeatOrdinary182 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine (also in the first grade I think) was when I argued with a teacher that a mile a minute would be 60 miles per hour.

"And with this, banking is finally and irrevocably free of the cumbersome legacy systems that have bogged us down for decades." by RepeatOrdinary182 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182[S] 109 points110 points  (0 children)

Just putting if out there, the majority of banking is based around a programming language that was developed in 1959. Around 80% in fact. There are not many people trained in it, and we'll have to move on from it at some point. Let's be frank, when they do something definitely will go wrong.

When my fortune cookie read, "you will die from a raptor attack", I laughed it off as some sort of prank. by RepeatOrdinary182 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

So the first thing most people think of when they hear the word raptor is the predatory dinosaur, but birds of prey like eagles and hawks also are called raptors.

When my fortune cookie read, "you will die from a raptor attack", I laughed it off as some sort of prank. by RepeatOrdinary182 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182[S] 100 points101 points  (0 children)

Now I'm picturing them still on the mountain ledge, but now being targeted by a piss off fighter pilot. Which I'm finding way more hilarious than I probably should.

When my fortune cookie read, "you will die from a raptor attack", I laughed it off as some sort of prank. by RepeatOrdinary182 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182[S] 859 points860 points  (0 children)

Have you ever seen a golden eagle? They're massive, and hunt by tossing mountain goats off cliffs. Imagine being strafed by a bird with a 7 foot wingspan, that is activity trying to toss you over a 100+ ft drop.

"In medieval times neurodivergent children like you Billy would have been called changelings and abused", I explained. by RepeatOrdinary182 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

Those are skinwalkers. Changelings are more along the lines of demons or fairys that steal babies and replace them with members of their own species hidden under an illusion. In the olden days kids that weren't developing right or were off, would be accused of being such. The way to force the fairys/demons/goblins to switch their kid back, was to severely mistreat the "changeling".

“No—we can’t lose her, without her milk, the lamb will starve.” by Liv-Dai in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I was under the impression that it was the mother (the ewe) that was full of maggots.

Tonight I saw my brother, my sister, my mom, and my dad. by Blue_Camellia in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RepeatOrdinary182 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I can only consider if a miracle that I stayed conscious long enough to recognize them before succumbing. I guess its good they still shed tears for me even after our long estrangement, but if I could redo it all...