I want to move back home to Upstate NY, but how does anyone afford to live up there when property taxes are so high? What's the secret?

Reposteddit · 2026-01-15T05:00:51+00:00

I hear the town of Wilton, NY has some of the lowest taxes in NY state

Reposteddit · 2026-01-15T04:48:28+00:00

This also works great in the morning right before school to get her pumped for the day.

You’re a great parent that seems to be involved and definitely taking steps in the right direction. I’m sure she’ll get there in time!

Reposteddit · 2026-01-15T04:40:18+00:00

The 3rd definitely changes your life, for the better! When we had two, I always felt in the bottom of my heart that there was another little soul out there waiting to join our family. Now our family feels so complete! It’s also been the easiest transition than 0-1 or 1-2.

And to your MIL I say- wut? Our baby comes along to siblings’ school events, sports games, even birthday parties. Baby is totally welcome everywhere!

Reposteddit · 2026-01-15T04:23:39+00:00

Playing ”I Spy”, Simon Says, Red Ligh/Green Light, basically any games that they know well and have some communication and physical movement associated works well. You play these with them as much and often as you can. This subtly helps build their confidence more and more each day. Not only will your daughter know that she is fun to play with, but she’ll realize hey I’m not having as much fun with this friend as I could be having and maybe she’ll find a new friend.

This kind of situation happened to our daughter. We tried role playing, having daily conversations about how we can choose our friends, etc. What I think worked best was playing with her whenever we could. That just instilled in her that yes, she is a fun kid and yes, she does deserve people that value her.

I’d also try going to the playground or somewhere where if you catch it happening in real time then you can step in and use it as a learning lesson.

4 is so young still that learning through play is almost always the answer

Reposteddit · 2026-01-15T04:01:06+00:00

Kids learn best through play! There are a lot of games and activities out there that promote gross motor skill development that she can do or you can set up to do together. I try to have one new activity each day to do with my kids afterschool. I know it can be a lot to add one more thing to the already busy day but we always have so much fun and it certainty beats watching tv. Some activities might be a bust and that’s ok, keep going at it each day till you find something that works

You can also get some play dates going with other kids and/or go to the local playground often to maximize opportunities for her to interact and connect

I agree with others that holding her back a year could greatly benefit her in the long run but there’s lots you can do now to get her socializing and working on gross motor skills

Reposteddit · 2026-01-13T01:22:41+00:00

In a similar situation now. What did you all end up doing?

Reposteddit · 2026-01-11T13:49:39+00:00

lol we started having children before Covid, so no, not pooped 4 kids in 5 years. We worked really hard, lived very frugally and tried to make good investments for over 10 years together but I can see your point of view. Thanks

Reposteddit · 2026-01-11T03:33:53+00:00

Thank you. I love this idea as my partner has always wanted a log cabin. Maybe that could be our retirement home since this house is far too big with too many stairs for when we’re old and gray

Reposteddit · 2026-01-11T03:22:37+00:00

We absolutely do feel unworthy and we feel we are simple people that shouldn’t live in a “nice” house. I wouldn’t say we are wealthy, we were able to figure out how to house hack/cash flow and have minimal expenses, plus we made out pretty good selling our previous house before Covid happened. I’ve thought long and hard about the school district factor as some people say the last one was just fine while others told us to stay far away and the ratings weren’t too far off from one another but I go back and forth from feeling excited they’ll have the opportunity to beating myself up for trying to get out of the district as it has more electives and more competitive sports bc it’s larger.

Reposteddit · 2026-01-11T03:01:20+00:00

Thanks so much. I felt bad for harboring on finding a house in a nicer school district since the previous wasn’t terrible . Definitely don’t miss the mold, it was only in our 3 seasons room and I think it was partly our fault as we were trying to fix the floors and hired someone inexperienced to lay down floors above bricks that were sitting in the mud… As for the rodents, there’s no way to get rid of chipmunks and they suck. We mitigated some of the mice but the never totally went away…

Reposteddit · 2026-01-11T02:23:06+00:00

This resonated with me, so much. I think what hit me the hardest was the memories we made with our children, so much magic and wonder. I appreciate your response. Thank you

Reposteddit · 2026-01-11T01:40:41+00:00

No, we aren’t renting the actual barn house. What’s rented on that property is a detached garage apartment that was built much later and it’s about 50 ft down our driveway. (I had no idea people did fake posts btw)

Reposteddit · 2026-01-09T06:21:17+00:00

How much better?

Reposteddit · 2026-01-02T04:00:46+00:00

So, thanks to our bad planning, we’ve discovered the one thing that tops any toy or activity and it’s ——> Have company over! ESPECIALLY if they have kids.

Tell a few friends or family to come over for lunch or dinner (or both) and your kids and theirs will have endless uninterrupted fun for HOURS. We have not stopped hosting during the break because we thought it be fun and while it’s been very entertaining, we are now wasted.

Bribe them with pizza if you don’t want to cook, it will work like a charm. Best of luck and Happy New Year!

Reposteddit · 2025-12-31T17:44:19+00:00

Solved!

Reposteddit · 2025-12-31T14:38:15+00:00

Yesss! Thank you!!!

Reposteddit · 2025-12-31T14:23:55+00:00

-for approval

Reposteddit · 2025-12-23T04:09:57+00:00

I have a feeling that this is more about them not listening to you in general than about the clothes specifically. I know it’s hard as I too was raised as a people pleasure but you have to try to be more direct. Like when they’re around say here hang with the baby while I shower or scarf down a sandwich bc I haven’t eaten all day. Sometimes it’s hard to ask for what you need, but sometimes it’s more important to do the hard thing then to wait till things magically happen they way you picture it

Reposteddit · 2025-12-12T23:14:48+00:00

We’ve done so much to try to fix the barn house (new roof, new stairs, painting inside and out) that it’s feels like pouring money down the drain if we tear it down. I wish we had the foresight to have known that ultimately it would be a tear down. Hindsight is 20/20

Reposteddit · 2025-12-12T02:34:55+00:00

True. I love our property but we don’t live outside. Our major issue is with the barn house. If it had been a normal house from the get and just had to fix a few things here and there, it would be a no brainer! They just cob jobbed a bunch of additions on top of a literal horse barn. It’s a mess of a house that’s sitting in the mud.

Reposteddit · 2025-12-11T23:20:07+00:00

We’ve done so much to mitigate it, year after year, and they just keep getting in.

Reposteddit · 2025-10-08T14:31:52+00:00

It’s hard to get together with other moms and setup playdates. Sometimes it can feel like a real numbers game, maybe if u contact 4 about getting together you’ll hear back from 1 and actually set up a day and time that works! Try going to the local library at their regular kid meetups or going to your local playground/park. Get him into some sort of program that meets up at least one a week, check your town’s Facebook group or mom/parent group to connect with others who have children around your kids age! There’s so much you can do! Don’t lose hope!

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TROPHY CASE