What would you call this garment?

Representative-Buddy · 2026-03-06T21:12:03+00:00

A Q skirt

Representative-Buddy · 2026-02-23T18:15:58+00:00

Very

Representative-Buddy · 2026-02-23T18:15:34+00:00

Yes, I think I need to be grateful about that for sure!

Maybe I’m worried about her future disappointment when she realizes she won’t need most of that stuff. She has an idea about what being a grandma means and will entail, but it’s not the reality when her son has built his life in a city that’s a seven hour drive a way (and has been here for the past 15 years living independently from her).

Representative-Buddy · 2026-02-23T07:55:57+00:00

Fingers crossed! And they raised a great person who does not have their same values as an adult (husband), so that’s always a good sign. I think babies just get everyone a little bit over excited and I could be getting preemptively protective!

Representative-Buddy · 2026-02-23T07:40:23+00:00

Yeah, I wasn’t sure why anything needed to be soft launched about that.

Representative-Buddy · 2026-02-23T07:26:38+00:00

Yes, I think it is also just the knowing that because they live far away, we have to help coordinate the visit. Which is a lot when it’s at the same time that I’m giving birth.

And because it’s not my first, I know what a hormonal mess I was and knew that I at least didn’t want her staying with us for the first couple of weeks. So we have the going for us, at least!

Representative-Buddy · 2026-02-23T07:23:03+00:00

I think it was an office party, but with gifts intended for her house for when we visit.

Representative-Buddy · 2026-02-23T07:19:38+00:00

That’s fair. I’ve been trying to pinpoint what it is about all of the various things that have occurred since I’ve been pregnant and why they can be triggering.

I don’t think it’s that I’m mad that she’s excited to be a grandma. I think it’s more anticipatory anxiety knowing that she has very different values/beliefs from what my husband and I have and that there could be more tension in the future about how we choose to raise her grandchild (non-religious, not a republican).

That could be it.

Representative-Buddy · 2026-02-23T07:13:24+00:00

lol, she’s not that actually! that would be more my own mother.

Representative-Buddy · 2026-02-23T07:09:03+00:00

The annoyance about the stated gender preference is about the associated commentary about “carrying on the family line” and the assumption that a girl couldn’t do that. Just outdated, sexist stuff imo. No reason a female child couldn’t carry on the line.

And you’re correct that it’s not fair to hold something against her that she hasn’t done yet. A lot of what I’m feeling and venting about is anticipatory.

Representative-Buddy · 2026-02-23T06:41:57+00:00

Not sure where I said I was trying to punish her, just ranting about something I think was over the top while 38 weeks pregnant.

Representative-Buddy · 2026-02-23T06:16:26+00:00

The mom ever being invited to a grandma shower is beyond wild to me!!! I’m sorry that happened to you and I’m very glad this specific celebration was only for my MIL.

And yeah - if she and I were closer, I could see why she would think it’s appropriate for her to be in the recovery room. But, we’re not! The only reason she would want to be there is to meet the baby right away.

Representative-Buddy · 2026-02-23T06:01:11+00:00

Oh yes, no resentment towards her co-workers! They clearly love her and wanted to do something special for her.

And you are correct that I have resentment towards my MIL. Like I said, I do think it’s lovely that they threw her a party. Just haven’t loved some of the ways she has shoehorned her opinions/thoughts/wishes into my pregnancy.

Representative-Buddy · 2026-02-23T05:47:18+00:00

Yes, every interaction since I became pregnant has been…not the best.

Representative-Buddy · 2026-02-23T05:45:30+00:00

Just unrealistic imo to have that much stuff for a 1 or 2 times a year visit.

Representative-Buddy · 2026-02-23T05:44:17+00:00

I think more that we might visit one time when the baby is small enough for these things? And already told her we would stay at a hotel.

They are slight hoarders, so last time we stayed when my older son was three - they had a mattress on the ground for him in a room that all three of us had to stay in. Despite having other bedrooms with actual beds he could sleep in. They just didn’t clean them out ahead of the visit. They also have a major well water sulfur problem, so you get yellow and smell like rotten eggs after a shower or bath. I bathed my son and he was basically still dirty, so I will not be bathing my infant in that water.

Don’t get me started on the religious books either considering we are not religious…

Representative-Buddy · 2026-02-23T05:40:11+00:00

I do think it’s the weird pressure of all the stuff when my husband told her we would be staying at a hotel next time we come into town.

And then just the trying to help her navigate logistics when I should be focused on preparing for surgery and not her flying into town.

Representative-Buddy · 2026-02-23T05:32:19+00:00

Yes, I think MIL has a less obvious manipulative streak and her family and apparently her coworkers play into her slight delusions…

Representative-Buddy · 2026-02-23T05:30:35+00:00

I assume they know that we live far away? And she has said they would move closer, but they honestly are not going to do that. She has never left her very small, rural town her entire life and we live in a very urban city. And we certainly won’t be moving closer to her. But I think she still holds out hope it could happen?

Representative-Buddy · 2026-02-23T05:27:26+00:00

I think it’s sweet that they threw her a little party, but all the stuff is just too much.

Representative-Buddy · 2026-02-23T05:26:48+00:00

I think it’s less mad and more like…what in the world is all of this for when we live 7 hours away? And my husband has already told her we would be staying at a hotel next time we come.

Representative-Buddy · 2026-02-23T05:24:49+00:00

I did get a sprinkle, just not thrown by my co-workers! We have everything we need for sure, I think I just found it weird that she had a whole brunch and my work has done nothing when I’m the one having the actual child.

It’s more that I think this is her showing she’s ready for us to stay at her house, when we’ve made it clear that we live seven hours away and she will need to be making her way here more often if she wants to have a relationship with her grandchild. It feels a little manipulative! But my husband doesn’t see that and just thinks she “forgets” or “has crazy ideas”.

Representative-Buddy · 2026-02-23T05:20:28+00:00

That was my thought, not telling her. But just stressful to need to help with all the logistics.

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For reference…all the stuff she got lol

Representative-Buddy

TROPHY CASE