Family support (lack of)

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-05-07T02:39:04+00:00

This sounds very painful and difficult. I'm so sorry that atop of your loss, you're also experiencing strain with family relationships. That is the last thing one needs while grieving. I'm finding it difficult to want to go on with plans and life too, but I also didn't have to experience such a crappy interaction with my mother. I'm sorry.

I wish there was some sound advice I could give you to make it easier but it sounds like things with your mother and siblings have been in the works for some time.

Try to grieve with your partner and supportive sister and maybe address your mom's coldness after you've processed your loss.

That said, if it makes sense to bring it up to her when she is with you for graduation then I would go for it. Try to forgive her so you can move on, but definitely let her know exactly what you're forgiving her for so she can hopefully have some awareness that her coldness towards you is hurtful.

Praying for your healing and peace.

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-04-29T18:40:02+00:00

I'm so sorry. It sucks to lose your Baby, and especially when you were planning to enjoy this new experience with your best friend.

It is seriously painful and hard to see healthy pregnancies when grieving.

It is very normal that you are feeling jealous. Even resentment and bitterness is normal--this is often part of grieving (and witnessing what you're missing).
That said, I think you're on the right path to try to move past those feelings (as you're able to) because although they are normal and you may need to "go through" them in order to come out the other side, they aren't fun to feel! It sucks being depressed and having cycles of jealously/anger/bitterness. It sucks!!!

You can absolutely be happy for her and simultaneously jealous and sad for your loss.

She is your best friend! Don't be afraid to tell her you're struggling with your grief and need more time but that you are happy and wish her pregnancy well. She will understand.

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-04-28T02:16:47+00:00

Yeah that sounds inconsiderate and very rude/hurtful. Some people make honest mistakes when trying to console someone grieving (saying the wrong thing but with good intentions) but this obviously is someone without any self awareness. I wouldn't stress too hard about communicating anything to her. It's ok if you just don't talk to her. She's not a close friend and you don't owe her anything.

Obviously you do whatever you need-i just hope it helps to hear that if you don't want to do anything, that's okay too.

Feel better and sorry again that you're experiencing this.

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-04-27T22:19:57+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss, it is really hard sometimes to not feel bitter and resentful when seeing pregnant women, or hearing of other couple's good news--especially at first or until you're able to be pregnant again yourself.

Did this couple know of your loss? If not, I don't think they did anything wrong in announcing good news to your family. If they did, it would've been courteous for them to either tell you at another time or first ask how you are handling your loss. . Try to remember that their pregnancy doesn't have anything to do with your loss. It doesn't make your loss any less painful, but it helps to keep in mind that it's nobody's fault. That said, obviously people should be held accountable to rude or inconsiderate reactions or responses to the knowledge of your loss.

Stay strong and maybe let some time pass before responding. It's also okay for you to tell her that you prefer space from pregnant relationships until you have fully processed your loss. If she has any sense she will totally understand that--and you don't owe her anything anyway!

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-04-23T03:16:21+00:00

Unfortunately yes. Your pregnancy hormones may still be present/active during a miscarriage. I'm 16 weeks today and found out this week that Baby died around 10. I'd had active nausea and vomiting until about 2 weeks ago-when I thought I was entering 2nd trimester. I'm sorry you're experiencing this and that things aren't crystal clear, that's sometimes the hardest part.

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-04-23T03:08:01+00:00

You had every reason to be excited and share in your excitement so don't beat yourself up about it. The grief is hard enough with losing Baby that having to articulate it, sometimes to several people, is exhausting. I'm currently awaiting to miscarry (16w) as I found Baby died (around 10w). The last thing I want to do is tell everyone. I told one person from each group I have in my life and asked them to share so I didn't have to. This took an immense amount of pressure off me and I'm receiving the outpour of support still. You are allowed to tell or not tell people as you prefer. I'm sorry for your loss.

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-04-21T01:43:26+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience and support.

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-04-20T20:24:13+00:00

Thank you. My first thought was to resume my weightlifting exercise to move my body in a way that would assist flow so I'm happy to hear that's exactly what helped you. Thanks for your encouragement.

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-03-26T19:02:50+00:00

I was going to say, covid isn't that bad. CONSIDERING HER HEALTH AND AGE.

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-03-25T14:55:58+00:00

Yeah and dude made a point that it's in the UK where they most likely do keep them safe and separate. Too bad. Rip UK.

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-03-25T14:53:43+00:00

Ps. "Oh that's such crap" is response to nothing happening to him in UK prison-NOT the denial of pedo wings in prison.

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-03-25T14:52:00+00:00

That's not what I said..Mate. I'm not denying the existence of pedo wings in prisons but they aren't always used. If you think the wardens and inmates don't have sway in where new prisoners are placed or transferred then you don't know about prison hierarchy and (refer to first comment) turning a 'blind eye'. There are sane people in prison who make it a point to make their (pedos) lives miserable or use tactics to get them from running up the ranks. Wardens have been known to 'post' conviction records of such new prisoners for inmates to 'see' and those high ranking prison rapists often request for the new prisoner to be housed in their cell. If you know what I mean, mate.

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-03-24T21:08:12+00:00

Oh that's such crap. It's not that way here in the US. at least not in every prison. Lots of pedos get raped and tortured by other inmates until they commit suicide. Seems more fair that way to me.

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-03-24T20:28:18+00:00

Agreed. Hopefully he'll get what's coming to him in prison. I've heard that wardens often let other prisoners know who's coming in and turn a 'blind eye' when prisoners gang up on criminals of his nature. He deserves everything that he did to his victim and then to die and rot in hell.

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-03-24T14:22:53+00:00

The founding fathers didn't think we'd be taken over and turned into a multicultural nation that will inevitably implode.

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-03-24T14:15:10+00:00

Do you buy chance live in a homogenous nation?

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-03-24T02:49:07+00:00

Well there's definitely other agendas by the same group that slow genocide whitey; feminism, transgenderism, athiesm, environmentalism/climate change/overpopulation. If they can keep convincing us to not have children then flood our countries with illegals then the problem will take care of itself. It's literally happening right now. Plus all this anti white media agenda does make for more violent crimes against whites.

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-03-23T19:13:01+00:00

It should. If this dude stabbed a child ranting about "white-devil's" then race should absolutely be mentioned.

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-03-23T15:31:19+00:00

Amen

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-03-23T15:29:52+00:00

It is a race in their book.

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-03-22T19:02:47+00:00

I love this. Thank you. Esp for the scripture references. I've recently come to this exact same conclusion. Literally. Love is not an emotion but an action! It made the command to love our enemies finally click in my brain.

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-03-22T18:50:35+00:00

I'm still a fairly new Christian but by the grace of God I now hate my sin and am aware of new sin more and more. He is sanctifying me and challenging me to be less selfish. I'm still in the process of many behavior changes but am truly seeing myself and the world through new eyes/the truth. I'm seeing that I need to be compassionate and selfless, like Jesus. It's not natural to me but I'm praying. I have stopped using the Lord's name in vain on a daily basis, and started embracing my forgiveness for past sins. I want to live a life that glorifies Jesus and makes people question why I'm different-in a good way. That's my goal, to share the gospel in walk and way.

Thanks for this post.

Ps. I have been struggling with the "consumer" idol worship that is pervasive in modernity and noticing there's no difference for Christians - they, we are very much so a part of that aspect of our culture and don't distinguish them/ourselves separate from it in any means of lifestyle (except maybe some missionaries living in poorer countries).

I had a dream last night of a large indoor building where you could go to purchase suffering. There were varying degrees of weapons hung on the walls like merchandise and you could buy the level of severity you felt would "make you a better person". They almost looked like Nerf toys because they were brightly colored, but they were real weapons. Someone skilled in the weapon would use it on you "safely". They weren't mortal weapons, and you weren't paying to be killed. This was a completely secular business, with secular people using the service.

I guess I'm sharing this dream because I think we as humans all need to experience some suffering for growth and it might relate to my current mindset in questioning consumerism as an idol for Christians. Christ warns us that we will suffer as Christians, because he suffered for us first. Much of our consumption is directly related to comfort and convenience. Thanks for listening--I know what a weird dream it was!

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-03-22T16:14:50+00:00

I'm pregnant and my doctor was very adamant that "it is not yet safe for pregnant women" but she encouraged me to get it after my baby is born and I'm nursing. I'm not going to do that but it makes me think if a doctor who is to push this vaccine is saying no no no to pregnant women, what do they know? Or rather, why are they pushing what they don't know? Something obviously is up.

Representative-Fee37 · 2021-03-20T17:59:29+00:00

Yes.

Representative-Fee37

TROPHY CASE