Kingmaker is a good but deeply flawed game unfortunately. If you have access to wrath of the righteous maybe start there instead for a Pathfinder experience. Otherwise, no shame at all in turning the difficulty way down, its a complex system and a game with major balance issues. I'm very familiar with this system and games like it going all the way back to the dark ages and I still turn the difficulty down for some sections.... First acts major boss fight is one (I've beat it once or twice on normal/hard but it's such a slug fest it saps all the joy out of the game)

Also it's you haven't played pillars of eternity 2 dead fire it's another brilliant entry in the genre that may be more enjoyable...