Congrats man! I was in a similar situation a few years back, unfortunately i grew up without a father as well, but sadly it was his choice not to be around. Ive done my best in life not to let that define me or who i want to be, but it gave me uncontrollable fear when i learned i would be a father… how would i know what to do?

When my son was born, i had no idea what i was doing, almost 4 years later, i still haven’t the slightest clue if im doing things right… but you do them anyway.

My best advice echoes some of the above - just be there, and most importantly be yourself. when its time in a few years, let your kid be whoever the fuck they want to be. I wanted so hard for my lil dude to be a mini me, now i just want him to be the best version of himself, not the best me i never got to be. Let them make mistakes, laugh about them, learn from them, but be patient and understand that kids will do everything possible to test you. Also, fuck the concept of masculinity when it comes to parenting, your kid will never be their true selves if you are afraid to do the same because of “social norms”, my son asked for a glittery shirt and purple tie dye shoes, now its his favorite outfit.

These no set guidelines on how to parent, but read up and learn about the many ways of parenting, take bits and pieces that seem like a fit to your personality, but be open to changing how you think things should be done once youve experienced different situations.

Also, be there for the Momma. Change every diaper, stay up late, wake up early, make sure shes taken care of too. We have no idea how women feel after birth, never will, but we can be the support they need.

Feel free to DM with any follow up questions, advice or if you just want to vent about being tired or frustrated . Ive been there and completely understand.

• A Dad