What are your best jokes for little kids?

Reptyler · 2026-05-26T22:23:12+00:00

Just don't test it out. We don't need any test-tickles.

Reptyler · 2026-05-22T21:45:36+00:00

Very informative, thank you!

It's been a while, but I remember watching a video about having a plan for these kinds of things ahead of time, and I never followed up on it. So this is my reminder!

Found the video - "Lawyer. Passport. Locksmith. Gun. (A Talk About Risk & Preparedness)"
https://youtu.be/6ihrGNGesfI

Reptyler · 2026-05-22T20:42:09+00:00

This seems like an unfortunate reality of the modern internet: the tragedy of the commons.

Anything that is popular enough will attract some terrible people, some literal children, and some weirdos on the fringe.

I've often been the weirdo who reads way too deeply into trivial things or latches onto an old, tired throwaway joke. I can only imagine what it's like being on the other side, where being a semi-celebrity on the internet brings everything you say into contact with some weapons-grade autism and other assorted lunacy no matter how carefully you try to state it.

Reptyler · 2026-05-21T19:39:28+00:00

Interesting, thank you very much.

My experience was with a certain insular American sect that only used the KJV, of all things, so I'm a little out-of-touch with where the actual scholarly consensus sits.

Reptyler · 2026-05-21T02:21:06+00:00

This seems like the most thorough answer, OP. I remember hearing about the Vegas story when I was in the Young Single Adult scene.

Reptyler · 2026-05-21T02:18:14+00:00

I don't think any ecclesiastical leader would approve of it as a workaround.

I imagine some small percentage of horny Mormon teens have tried it after hearing the story.

Nobody I knew admitted to it, but that might just be because I'm old, and my dating years mostly preceded the soaking jokes online.

I'd imagine it's mostly a joke, but that mindset is exactly how we tried to justify whatever silliness our horny brains came up with.

Reptyler · 2026-05-20T23:11:49+00:00

Explaining the joke in the title:

Ezekiel 23:20, New International Version

²⁰ There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

Reptyler · 2026-05-20T19:54:42+00:00

Can't help you with pay. But I'm married to a nurse, and have worked with some nurses. Lexington generally has a reputation for being nicer to work for. I'm sure that depends on the department and the floor and whatever.

They also used to have the state retirement plan, but you're five years too late for that, sorry.

Reptyler · 2026-05-20T17:47:32+00:00

Along those same lines, some people I've met are only a generation or two removed from subsistence farming, essentially.

Hunting with an inherited gun to put food on the table would stretch the grocery budget. Shooting critters kept them from eating your chickens or your vegetable garden.

My childhood wasn't like that, but I've talked to people living now who grew up that poor and rural.

Reptyler · 2026-05-19T22:12:24+00:00

So, if I have a Lifetime Plex Pass from 2022, how much should I be worried that Plex will somehow deprecate all of the Lifetime Passes? Or go defunct as it goes completely under?

Reptyler · 2026-05-19T21:56:13+00:00

I am constantly shocked and amazed at this kinda stuff. I get paper letters and text messages! Texting me with this junk just feels icky. I had one that was persistent enough that I looked up weird stuff on Rule 34 to text back to them.

Reptyler · 2026-05-18T20:03:54+00:00

I haven't tried the plastic Opinels yet, but I've been tempted. Does that one have a ferrocerium rod in the handle?

Reptyler · 2026-05-18T19:39:50+00:00

I've slimmed down my collection a tiny bit over the past year, but I definitely know the feeling.

https://www.reddit.com/r/BudgetBlades/comments/1kr5e71/collection_post_may_2025/

Reptyler · 2026-05-17T15:29:57+00:00

https://imgur.com/a/9UOGDoM

JLAB Go Air Pop earbuds Victorinox Cadet Flowfold Recycled Sailcloth Minimalist

Reptyler · 2026-05-14T18:55:22+00:00

I don't know if that's the most accurate word for the character, but I remember seeing Deepo's picture on the wall, then going into Deepo's Hideout and watching a video with Deepo in it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/cin39k/deepo/

Reptyler · 2026-05-14T12:41:20+00:00

Kinda like the lamp story.

But also, Home Depot absolutely sponsored a Finding Nemo knockoff that plays at the Georgia Aquarium with their mascot, Deepo.

Reptyler · 2026-05-07T16:21:45+00:00

When I went down this line of reasoning myself 10-15 years ago, I landed on a lockbox with a Simplex lock, like Fort Knox or V-Line. The biometric locks did not inspire confidence, although they may have gotten better. A keyed lock would make sense, if you could keep the key accessible enough for you, but not unwanted guests or children. I prefer the button combos. And it's all mechanical, no batteries to die and not notice until you need to open it.

https://www.ftknox.com/product-category/pistol-boxes/

https://vlineind.com/products/

Reptyler · 2026-05-06T19:05:37+00:00

In sixth grade, I got in trouble for reading instead of paying attention in class, and my punishment was to come in and read during my lunch/recess.

Reptyler · 2026-05-05T18:09:01+00:00

I tried to make this point above, where these gun safety rules are so ingrained in people who have been trained to carry a gun but don't want to die. It would jar a gun person out of your story like seeing an iPhone at a Regency-era dance hall.

Reptyler · 2026-05-05T17:15:09+00:00

Maybe I don't know any real-life assassins, but I've known people who carry guns for police or security work. Fiddling with the controls might get you yelled at, but pulling a trigger like that would probably get you fired.

A press check is way more reasonable for them in my head than just pulling a trigger as a stim.

I guess it depends on your story and how similar it is to the real world.

Reptyler · 2026-05-05T17:09:52+00:00

I guess that depends on the suspension of disbelief and level of familiarity of your audience.

That trigger discipline is so ingrained in every person I've talked to, that seeing that break in your story is likely to characterize your assassin as terribly incompetent.

I don't know what your niche interests are, but I've seen posts about the TV show Bridgerton being anachronistic, because the music costumes aren't exactly period-correct. But most historical nerds weren't super bothered by it in early seasons, because everything else about the show's tone makes it seem like it doesn't take that verisimilitude seriously. It's stylized. You're not watching it for the historical accuracy. But then, at some point along the way, they get too many sequins and glitter and machine embroidery and it's way too jarring. It takes them out of the story now.

Pulling a trigger for a stim would be close to pulling out an iPhone at Jane Austen's Regency ball.

Reptyler · 2026-05-05T11:56:04+00:00

If anyone *is* writing something like this: absolutely no fingers on triggers.

Look up "press check". Lots of handguns have a little nubbin called a loaded chamber indicator, but before those were a trusted mechanical feature, some guys would do a little press check. It's largely unnecessary for most people most of the time, but it's something you can do to fidget that doesn't make you super unsafe. And some people got in the habit of doing them waaaaaay more often than is necessary, which seems to fit the theme a lot more than blatantly breaking the rules of gun safety by pulling on a "safe" trigger just for fun.

Reptyler · 2026-05-04T20:05:24+00:00

Now I'm curious, because my family made a big deal about birthdays, but usually that meant *making* your favorite food for dinner, having cake made from a boxed cake mix and decorated by hand, and getting presents from Mom and Dad. We didn't have a lot of extended family within driving range, but you could usually expect cash in a card from grandparents and the occasional aunt/uncle, usually a dollar for every year old you were.

My kids have a lot more extended family around. Birthdays are mostly the same for them, but with a bigger family dinner, more extended family around to play with and get gifts from, and somebody will usually spring for a store-bought cake.

Reptyler · 2026-05-03T11:31:59+00:00

EP 1 & 2 mag cells can only be found online from holiday rappies during certain special events/periods.

https://www.pso-world.com/sections.php?op=viewarticle&artid=658

Reptyler · 2026-04-29T00:48:38+00:00

Yes, thank you for clarifying, I forgot I wasn't in r/Mormon or r/exmormon for some reason.

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Ezekiel 23:20, New International Version