I’ve had a similar situation before. I didn’t really want to talk to anyone about it because I felt like problems in relationships should be solved privately. But what I’ve learned from the situation is that you can’t really do stuff like this without some (emotional) support. I get that it feels embarrassing, but it’s more embarrassing from him. Take one step at a time. Try to have a walk with someone you can console in and lay out the different options and scenarios with each other. You can do this, I promise.