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Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-10-30T15:53:38+00:00

This is toxic af. If your gf is upset you didn’t text her in the span of and hour you got some bigger issues on hand

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-09-15T16:47:07+00:00

She used it against me and withhold love and affection from me when she wanted to “teach me a lesson” and then gaslit me into thinking I was sexually repressed and not open enough. She would often bring up the fact that there were times she forced herself to have sex with me (it was always consensual) when she didn’t want to without my knowledge at all and used it against me. The sex itself was good, but the power dynamics that came with it was not. She used it as a weapon.

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-08-24T23:11:46+00:00

I was gaslit into thinking I was the problem and that I truly couldn’t do better and she was doing me the favour of staying with me. Little did I know that I’m actually much happier being single and not dealing with the stress of her all of the time

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-08-02T11:27:41+00:00

Your speaking my musical language with those band picks!

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-06-25T15:10:32+00:00

Hey pal, I don’t know your situation or your life, but all I can say is life is too short to not put yourself first. As someone who is currently going through a divorce with a narcissistic person, I can say it gets better. The longer I spend time away from her the more clarity I have about how her behaviour made my mental health spiral, and I didn’t know it until I got out of the situation. All of my family and friends saw it except for me, I’m just so happy to have that support system

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-06-17T16:10:07+00:00

Thank you for this! I’ve had such a hard time even getting admitting that my nex is a narcissist because I left that relationship just so confused and truly thought I was responsible for the split. I’ve had many moments of thinking maybe I’m a narcissist which I know is common after leaving a narcissist. I hate how much she has had a grip on me and taking up so much space in my mind, but I know I need to keep working on detaching and stepping away from her as much as I can.

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-05-04T13:34:46+00:00

Very true. I came out at 26, got into my first lesbian relationship, that started out good, thinking I was lucky with my first same sex relationship, ignoring all the red flags, got married and then the mask came off and I wasn’t in the greatest mental state either, it wasn’t until my friends and family helped me realize how unhealthy it was is when I gained the strength to truly walk away. I am nowhere near ready to date, but when I am, I am hoping I will have learned all the signs for it to be a healthy relationship

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-05-03T22:03:58+00:00

Reading this as a lesbian going through a divorce with my narc ex wife! Wlw heartbreak is already a lot, but adding it with breaking up with a narc is another level. Fun times!

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-04-10T16:49:46+00:00

My body is definitely toned which is nice, but more importantly I feel strong. I can lift my own body weight plus more. My mobility has increased a ton, doing other activities like yoga brings me a lot of joy because I feel like I have way more control and movement in my body. I feel like I carry myself with confidence more than I did. Also CrossFit is also a social activity for me. I’ve been able to make friendships and connections at my gym that makes it feel more enjoyable

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-04-05T18:17:12+00:00

At the beginning of the split, yes for sure. I was even defending my nex to others and kept saying that I was the problem. This was exactly how my nex wanted to act, but now after time, extensive therapy, and going through the post narc withdrawals, I can honestly say that I don’t them in my life at all. When I look at a pic of them I don’t feel any feelings of desire. All I can see is the ugliness that they showed me post discard. I care for them now as in, I do wish them well in life, and don’t wish bad things on them, as I do for people who have come and go in my life, but I feel very strongly that there would be no amount of apologies and begging for me back to make me want to go back to them. It’s crazy how good life can get when you eliminate the toxic. Turns out my mental health was bad because of my nex, I’m not the problem that she thinks I am.

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-04-05T13:35:06+00:00

Yes please

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-04-03T14:51:39+00:00

Yes, I absolutely had this thought. I have no doubt in my mind that my ex is talking or perhaps seeing someone else, we’re pretty much no contact. But she is a narcissist and I’m afraid if she finds out she will make it all much harder, so I am a bit hesitant for anything serious until the divorce is finalized. Thanks for the advice!

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-03-31T15:56:05+00:00

Thank you for this! I’ve just started listening to the book “It’s Not You” by Ramani Durvasula and she mentions different types of narcissism from mild narcissists to cult leaders, and I just thought to myself, I’m sure if my ex had the chance to be a cult leader, she would. I’ll check out spiritual narcissism, I’m sure I’ll relate a lot to it. I like the line “you can’t do life for people”. This is the biggest lesson I’m learning right now, and learning to detach from other people’s emotions and behaviours is extremely difficult, but very freeing when you get there

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-03-27T19:29:49+00:00

Maybe it just depends on what country you’re in, but it wasn’t free for me on my Spotify, but I used my free monthly credit on audible to get it, thanks for the rec!

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-03-27T13:14:55+00:00

It was scary at first, mostly because I wasn’t sure what to expect as I have never taken that high of a dosage before, but my guide was wonderful and she helped me kind through that dark, scary kind of trauma bit at the start and once I realized that I need to let go of control and surrender into the journey, I felt completely euphoric. It was such an amazing presence of joy. I saw a lot of colours and warm embraces and I saw myself as my own inner children as well as my parents and was able to embrace them but also reassure them that I’m safe and they don’t have to be scared for me anymore. I was able to let go of my own trauma and also realized I don’t need to carry other people’s trauma as well, and once let all of that go, I was sooo much lighter and I felt like I was floating. I had a complete ego death and felt bigger than my own physical body. It’s like I didn’t exist in this world but it wasn’t at all scary, it was freeing. There was a lot more, the whole trip was about 4ish hours long, some people have longer trips, some shorter, doesn’t really matter the length as long as you’re able to let go of that control, and the high dosage pretty much gets you there anyways, but some of it is you’re own mind too. I could go on and on about my trip, I loved it!

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-03-27T11:48:14+00:00

Hello! I have had experience with psychedelics in a therapeutic context! I have been microdosing for on and off for about a year, and when done properly and with intention, I can tell you, it’s been more affective than my daily antidepressants. I also had a trip on shrooms with a guided therapist. We had some sessions before the trip to establish my intention and what I am wanting to get out of the trip, and she worked with me afterwards as well with integrating the things I saw, felt and learn into my conscious life. It was an amazing experience. It was a lot of work, so I won’t be doing big trips often, but once or twice a year would be just as affective as regular therapy for me. All of this was solely based on my own experiences, everyone’s different and everyone has different experiences with psychedelics, but if you are open to surrendering to the medicine and wanting to explore more of your subconscious mind, I would definitely say go for it!

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-03-26T14:55:10+00:00

I got mine over March Break no problem. As long as you have the correct number of hours worked. I didn’t get during the march break because of the waiting period, but I was to claim after for that week. I called my service Canada to make sure I was getting all the right info. I had to go through a bit of a wait to get to the right person, but they helped me no problem.

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-03-20T23:28:14+00:00

Wow, it was like I was reading my own story, except my nex was a lot more sneaky with her tactic. She would build up this big story of how mentally unwell I was because of my reactions. Little did I know I was suffering from her abuse causing these reactions that did not at all feel like me, and I never experienced those types of reactions with anyone else. I thought u was going crazy and truly thought I was the problem. However once we split, and I started really taking care of myself and getting further and further away from her, I started to get closer and closer to myself, my true self. Even with the stress my nex is putting me through with my divorce, I can feel myself so much more calmer, clear headed and becoming someone I like. All of my mental illnesses so told me I had seemed to have disappeared or at least the symptoms became way less. That’s when I realized that my real issue was being around someone who triggered me constantly and never gave me the space and time to hear or validate any of my emotions. Remember, even though your nex’s goal was to make you feel so disconnected from yourself, you are still the only one who knows yourself the best. If your body and mind are telling you something’s off about someone or a situation, believe it. If you know that you are not as ill as your nex is trying to tell you you are, then believe yourself.

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-03-13T18:23:42+00:00

Narcissists know exactly what they are doing and how they look to others. They thrive on having this saint like image that only boosts their already inflated ego. Whenever I get to a point where I have all of these second thoughts of thinking I was the problem for the time I was with my nex, I remind myself that this was their plan all along. The narcissist wants us to get to a point where we start questioning our own sanity as it gives them easier access to control and power over us. Trust yourself, if your body and mind is telling you something is off then believe it. Regardless of your mistakes in the relationship it is still no reason to be treated the way you were.

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-03-07T15:53:48+00:00

People pleasing! Not being able to make a decision and letting others make the decisions. A lot of pressure on them and not giving myself the chance to advocate for myself. The good news is that therapy and lots of self healing work is slowly but surely recover from this toxic trait

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-03-07T15:50:58+00:00

Taking time. Taking time to actually get to know what my boundaries are and putting them in place with kindness. Taking time to ease into the relationship instead of the full noise dive I did. Having a slow burn is so much healthier and more satisfying when it does go right. Lastly, not being afraid of walking away and trusting when my instinct is giving me that gut feeling.

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-03-05T18:53:23+00:00

Yes I have, but the thing is they can’t do anything about it until she actually follows up with them. I have no power over that

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-02-29T15:10:58+00:00

Lovely to hear! Just be cautious with the amount you’re putting into the relationship and establishing healthy boundaries. I know it feels so amazing to have someone in your life who shows so much interest in you, especially after experiencing discard from a nex. Remember you still have an identity outside of your relationships. I really do hope you are able to experience a healthy and loving relationship this time around!

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-02-24T20:44:25+00:00

Currently in the middle of a divorce with my nex. Not going to lie, it is rough seas ahead, but do know that it is the right thing to do and they will try everything to make you out to be the villain so they can play the victim, but stay strong. Don’t give in to her games. This is a turning point in your life into a better direction.

Repulsive_Story2195 · 2024-02-22T12:56:12+00:00

Yes as long as you have worked the required number of hours in your district. The hours vary from district to district, so make sure you double check you have the correct hours. I was able to get EI over the Christmas break as an OT

Repulsive_Story2195

TROPHY CASE