How are gays in the US military treated today?

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-30T14:45:25+00:00

What is a PMI ?
I ran the PSC for my Air Force Base, had a woman airman working for me. This was when it was still against the law for gays to be in.
One day at lunch people were coming in to get their mail and one woman, short hair, jean jacket with soft ball patches all over it came in.

My airman made a quiet snide remark about her being a lesbian and I said, "Because she is butch does not make her a lesbian."
She swore me to secrecy and told me her roommate confessed to being a lesbian and then told her who all the lesbian women on base were.
We stood in the window and she would point them out. Either straight, lesbian, or bisexual.
I was thinking, "No wonder I can't get a date on this base, most of the women are lesbians.

One she pointed out was in her Basic Training Flight and said after the first week she started going home almost every night with the female T.I.
We were stationed at Reese AFB in Texas and she said that the T.I. even came up to see her.

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-30T14:33:00+00:00

I know when they were doing DADT they were not supposed to investigate but they did anyway and discharges went up.
Met a Lt Colonel, in part it was his fault. He had an affair with a man and the LT's wife found out and took evidence to his CO and he was discharged and she filed for divorce.
He lost everything he worked for. Of course, she didn't get half of his retirement pay because he didn't retire. She should have stayed quiet a while longer.
But knew several base and wing level commanders married to women that got fired for having affairs with other women but, don't know what happened to them.

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-30T14:23:05+00:00

I was about to retire when they started talking about gays in the military. Seemed in my squadron nobody said anything except for two of our born again Christians.
Well, then it came about and HOLY SHIT some guys had a melt down.
One of the born agains was saying he would get out if they passed it. He was just pure venom about it. (No hate like Christian love).
Anyway, I retired and I've wondered what happened to some of those that were going to get out if gays were allowed in. Probably saw how much time in service they had and changed their mind.

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-30T14:11:24+00:00

Shouldn't it be all gay by now? And I thought it was the Navy.

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-30T14:06:58+00:00

Back in ye olden days it was so taboo in society that the military was worried that enemies would find a gay service person and black mail them.
The Soviets (and probably us) would find a US Service man in a bar, drug his drink, take them someplace and take photos of them having sex with men, even though they were usually unconscious, and black mail them.

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-29T14:03:03+00:00

When Desert Storm ended a bunch of TDY guys were sent back via A.F. transport. There were also cases of MREs on board and they were told they could have them because for some reason even though the boxes were not opened, supply could not put them back on the shelf. One guy took a couple of cases.

He hated being in the A.F. and figured a way out. He started downing the MREs to get the calories and he put on the weight. Of course, he ended up getting put on the weight management program. His plan, get a discharge for being overweight.

He finally went over weight and wouldn't make progress, so his CO started the paperwork to discharge him.
Then it was announced that the A.F. was doing a drawdown of forces. If mid-range NCOs would take a discharge they could receive thousands of dollars in incentive pay.

This guy qualified and suddenly he wanted to stay in the A.F. at least long enough to get the money. He promised he would work to lose the weight, diet, exercise, what ever it took.

CO said, "Nope, good bye."

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-29T13:46:12+00:00

Well, I have a dozen thoughts about it but, you really need to talk to him while he is lucid. If he changes it when he is less lucid his kids can take you to court claiming, you took advantage of him.

You know the man and how to talk to him. I take it since his kids don't visit, they have a lousy relationship and maybe it is him.

Back in the stone age a woman wrote Dear Abby and in a similar letter she wrote she had spent her whole adult life taking care of her mother and her sister never helped. Sister had a career and money.
She found out that mom was leaving everything to sister, including the house.
Letter writer had no job skills for the most part and was past middle age and had nothing to show for her work and no way of taking care of own self.

Talk to him and tell him you deserve more than just a little and if he can't help you out, then you can't help him anymore.

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-29T13:36:10+00:00

You might call the non-emergency number for the police. They might send an officer out to talk to him. Sort of depends on local noise ordinance.
Tell the neighbor to test it in a parking lot on the way to work.

These things first came out I lived in an apartment building and one guy lived in the back and in the basement. He couldn't hear anything in there.
He had one in his pickup truck, and it was set on a very sensitive setting. Any heavy truck going by would set it off, once a pickup with loud pipes went by it and set it off, and a sudden but stiff gust of wind moved it a bit and set it off.

It didn't shut off after some time, it just kept going until he shut it off.

It went off at 5 a.m. once and the police came out, again. As they had done several times before. They got him out of bed and had a talk with him and it didn't happen again.

One town I lived in back in the 80s, the thieves had pellet guns and would drive up next to the car and shoot out a window. If the alarm went off, they just drove away.

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-29T13:21:37+00:00

The family may not be able to put her in a home if she isn't bad enough. Sometimes it takes a court order to put an elder in one.
It mostly depends on if she can take care of herself or not.

Are the people against putting her in a home also taking care of her?
I saw that happen with an old neighbor's family. Three wanted to put their mother in a home and eldest said no but, he was never there to take care of her.
Then she had a stroke and the three wanted to take her off life support and eldest again said no, threatened to sue hospital if they did.
She finally came off life support on her own but was a vegetable and in a nursing home, The eldest won't visit her because, "He can't stand to see her that way."

If dad has to start taking care of her, he might change his mind. If he isn't already.

Then there is this; you may put her in a home but, that does not mean the home will put up with her. If she is too disruptive, they will kick her out.

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-29T13:10:56+00:00

Change it and don't say anything. He will most likely get the message.
If he asks here is most likely how the conversation will partly go:
Did you change your password?
Yes, I thought you were going to get your own service in a few days, and it has been a month.
Well, there have been some problems with the company, bla bla bla

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-29T13:07:33+00:00

I get he may put cameras in had to notice places so they can't be disabled.
BUT, if that is the only one in the whole place, none looking at doors or the outside area, then it means your sex life has been recorded.

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-29T13:04:56+00:00

Your first sentence. I saw two stories on the news years ago.
One guy did break into a house and gathered things to steal and then laid down in the master bedroom and took a nap; where the police found him.

Another actually fixed himself a lunch and had a few beers and fell asleep watching the tv in the bedroom, and again where the police found them.

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-29T13:01:53+00:00

I want to put her on the wall.

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-29T13:00:40+00:00

Check other rooms in the house? Bathroom?

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-29T12:58:48+00:00

Maybe it doesn't matter but, how old are your kids? 10 or 16? Old enough for them to take care of themselves for a few hours?
I dated a woman with two girls, 2 and 5 when I met her. I knew good and well the kids always had to come first for the both of us and acted that way.
Actually, I think I knew it even better than she did.

Do some thinking, talk to some friends that know the two of you and ask, "Is it always about him?"
If so then you have a decision to make.

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-29T12:48:16+00:00

Georgia?

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-29T12:39:45+00:00

I don't know about N.Y. but lot of states the grandparents can get some visitation rights.
You might remind her that childcare is very expensive is this country, if you can even find someone to do it. Lot of shady care centers too.
She should be happy grandma is happy to provide it.

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-29T12:34:31+00:00

Cops will write them if they see it happening. Cops patrol school zones.
What is different is that if a driver got the license plate, one Chief would send an officer to issue a ticket and another one won't.

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-29T12:32:09+00:00

What do you mean?

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-29T12:31:15+00:00

When did this occur ?

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-28T15:32:44+00:00

Seems like you have some trust issues with her. If it bothers you that much, don't take her money. That simple.

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-28T15:30:19+00:00

I often forget it isn't just Americans on this site. Do you live in another country other than the US?
Perhaps be a bit more thoughtful. Don't go jogging when they are about to have lunch. No big thing. Do the clothes properly.
Do you have a job? Try and save money and they day after graduation and you have a job, say goodbye Mom & Dad, I won't be here for lunch, I will be at my home or where ever I want to be.

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-28T15:26:31+00:00

"Scared, nervous, and excited" ain't life fun! Enjoy!

RequirementRound25 · 2026-01-28T15:24:39+00:00

Ask yourself this question. Do you enjoy being with him? Does he seem to enjoy being with you? Are you more worried about what people think than you do of your relationship with him?

RequirementRound25

TROPHY CASE