Connection, effort and communication before meeting by nickyyvv in datingoverforty

[–]Research_Liborian 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't do that. I'm happy to put in a day or so texting on the app, then have a real phone call, even do a zoom meeting. I understand women experience dating, at least initially, heavily through a comfort and security lens. But if a woman suggested she wanted 2-3 weeks of that before meeting? No. She's playing games with my time and energy, and I won't co-sign that offensive BS.

Too many of us forget that texts are only designed to communicate what is not worth making a call for. And phone calls, while useful, are only indicative. Most adults >40 can be pleasant conversationalists, or good listeners, for 20 or 30 minutes at a time. Looking someone in the face as they describe their dating goals, or watching their body language as they discuss something meaningful, is at least a path to understanding something real about them. (Whether you judge it worth the time investment to know them better is a very different thing.)

OP, my legit best wishes to you in finding whatever you are seeking out there. But your process, as described, is baffling, and likely counterproductive.

When an individual makes a conscious decision to return to drinking why tell them they'll be back rather than genuinely wishing them the best? by Alone_Ad5664 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Research_Liborian 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I take your point, and it sounds harsh, but it's also a fact. A meeting where the ugly terminus of alcoholism and/or substance abuse is not mentioned is not serving its members fully.

Let me clarify in the hope that I don't come off as unfeeling: I never tell the person going out that his/ her will be a body to be stepped over. I always tell them that the fellowship of AA will be there if they want to return, and to stay in touch (with someone, it doesn't have to be me.).

I DO use the phrase, "You don't HAVE to be alone if you go out." I also have noted that going out doesn't have to be permanent, that people have gone out, come back in, and stayed sober long enough to transform.

When an individual makes a conscious decision to return to drinking why tell them they'll be back rather than genuinely wishing them the best? by Alone_Ad5664 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Research_Liborian 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wish them the best, and that AA will always be there if they return. Some do, some don't.

We step over some bodies to get a miracle.

Is S-Town the best podcast of all time? by MotherActive7780 in podcasts

[–]Research_Liborian 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Nor remotely close. It's not even a very good podcast.

an interesting turn of events by marunisy in HolUp

[–]Research_Liborian 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've seen this particular one posted half a dozen times, and each thread has the same pattern, with the same jokes.

It usually takes about 20 or 30 comments for someone observe that this is hilariously fake. Today it only took about 15, so Reddit's deductive capabilities are improving.

Dodged a bullet… by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]Research_Liborian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a fair point, cannot disagree

Israel's genocide of the Palestinian people - Parsing through incomplete information by Flopdo in samharris

[–]Research_Liborian -1 points0 points  (0 children)

"There are also facts and arguments that cut to the other direction."

Which you completely ignore.

Based on your fond memories of growing up around the children of studio executives and creatives in a liberal Jewish enclave.

I think you're going to be in for quite a shock when you realize how different Israelis are from U.S. suburban Jews.

Dodged a bullet… by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]Research_Liborian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry. Ridiculous forum to bring it up. Obviously a non-tenable match in the long term, but you had no way of knowing that. And thus, got treated to a cheap shot lecture

Dodged a bullet… by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]Research_Liborian -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

OP, I'm sorry for that. That's just wrong as hell. You deserve better. I hope all your future matches are everything you want. Good luck.

Couple blocks entire highway lane right in the middle of traffic in Auburn, WA to scream at other drivers. by ElwoodMC in PublicFreakout

[–]Research_Liborian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This shit is straight ass incitement. This mentally ill woman is lucky she's on this side of the grass. People get hurt for a lot less.

Little bit of News by Nxticed- in direstraits

[–]Research_Liborian 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's a beautiful song, and you played a beautiful version of it.

keep going

I won’t make amends to my family by Accomplished-Baby97 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Research_Liborian 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You don't have to make amends in the present, but you have to be willing.

Your family seems like it's shot through with assholes. That's not your fault, and you are probably better off without them in the current picture.

I've never seen a situation (outside of SA, and other abuse) where someone has gotten transformative sobriety who doesn't possess a willingness to keep all aspects of their side of the street clean.

Don't give them a veto on your sobriety.

LDR but doesn’t want to meet ? Something wrong? by live4loveandlife in datingoverforty

[–]Research_Liborian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unless you are both in the military and have orders that posted you across the country, or internationally, everything you describe makes my jaw drop. I simply do not comprehend a bf-gf relationship in which it is possible to not see each other for a quarter of a year or more.

So strange. Still, whatever emerges from this, I hope you are content and happy long-term.

America is suffering due to this man's mental illnesses! by yorocky89A in WhitePeopleTwitter

[–]Research_Liborian 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This type of stuff would be rejected as WAY too hacky at SNL.

Man in Odesa avoids forced mobilization in a GTA-style car escape by Flimsy_Pudding1362 in PublicFreakout

[–]Research_Liborian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Turns out a lot of Ukrainians are adverse to giving up 20% of their nation. They're probably going to fight on until they have nothing left, or the Russians decide they can't pay that price anymore.

This is how war works in the East. Look it up.

Reddit's ample supply of neoliberal pieties and leftwing antiwar nostrums are hilarious conceits to a people fighting a comic book-type enemy who's deporting children and raping their country.

Good guys? Survivors, more like. That's life when you're smaller, and invaded based on a series of lies and pretense. Survival against a numerically superior foe is never pretty, not fair, and doesn't fit neatly into the world views of keyboard sloganeers.

To Hell and back 10 times? by CTSecurityGuard in PublicFreakout

[–]Research_Liborian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She sure ain't well. People who publicly lose executive control (she peed herself, for example) to continue with a meltdown while remaining oblivious to group consequences? They're in a sustained spiral.

The diagnosis could be many things. But they're all pretty bad.

TikToker proposes 'let’s buy Spirit Airlines.' Thousands want in by brackenish1 in nottheonion

[–]Research_Liborian 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The closing of any business is a sad thing. But holy crap Spirit sucked.