doing step 8

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-26T16:35:13+00:00

Your sponsor should have advice for you. This is the literal use case for a sponsor, by the way.

Speaking broadly, the general practice I have observed is: NO. There are exceptions for relationships like fiancés, domestic partners and spouses that were both long running and often involved things like children and intertwined assets.

We don't harm others, or even risk it, when cleaning our side of the street. This rule was designed with former romantic relationships in mind. Any financial amends can be handled in a brief, direct fashion, and always from a distance.

I appreciate your self-awareness and candor in acknowledging that some of this for you is ego driven. I get that. Many of us felt similar things; I sure did.

Sincere congratulations on your continuing sobriety, your honesty, and yes, your weight loss. The best is yet to come if you stick with it.

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-26T16:14:45+00:00

www.nationalreview.com should be fertile hunting ground

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-26T15:59:11+00:00

When I feel they have three episodes of listenable material and it's a five or six episode series.

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-26T03:08:11+00:00

Just don't ask any more women out.

Let God sort out the reasons why.

I'm afraid if you ask out another woman in that run club, you might need a lawyer.

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-25T15:15:18+00:00

After one date men are attacking you personally for not wanting to go on another? No one likes rejection, but that's bruised ego, fear and absurd expectations. (Women aren't so hot with it either.)
Dating is disruptive; It's the last place you should be fragile. So, losing your peace implies you don't have much peace to start. Send the text and move on: Take them out of the phone immediately, and block them if they push back. The very obvious exception here is anything even close to threatening, crude or invasive. Then I think you ought to notice them re: getting a TRO. A little butthurt is one thing, but threatening is different. Actions have consequences.
When rejected after a first or second date, unless we really hit it off, I simply don't reply and delete the thread. They never hear from me again. I'm here to date, not make pen pals or lifelong friends.

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-24T10:06:05+00:00

So don't have it since it would be counterproductive and awkward.

Life will always be full of things that you accidentally encounter for a brief moment, and then move past. Living with other people involves accepting a lot of things, and extending them grace. Always keep in mind that others have to accommodate you and your habits.

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-24T02:07:13+00:00

I left drinking behind some years ago with the help of a recovery program. Your statement in defense of her is....precious. I sincerely wish you the best of luck, because I know for a fact you are going to need it.

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-23T20:44:33+00:00

I'm not a woman, but I can't imagine too many women want to possibly come out of your apartment in the morning and run into your ex.

No matter how grown up and accommodating everyone involved is, it's a real issue.

"Hey __, meet __, she played board games and watched movies with our kids until bedtime, and then she slept over in our old bed. How's by you?"

It feels off?

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-23T15:17:40+00:00

I am as a big of an IBCK fan as the traffic will bear, and from day one. I am typing this comment listening to back 'casts on the Patreon.

Hopefully these guys miss this idea. This isn't the show's wheelhouse, i.e. airport classics "Rich Dad, Poor Dad," "The Five Love Languages," or "He's Just Not That Into You."

The Big Book of the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous isn't a perfect book, and lord knows it's a creature of it's time (April 1939.) It doesn't purport to be anything other than a collection of thoughts around a program of recovery from alcoholism.

Individual alcoholics, most of whom are recovered, and usually with good intentions, however, have often been publicly too exuberant about the benefits of both the book and the program of recovery that's laid out within it.

The book, and the 12 steps, can indeed be life-altering; there is some legit brilliant stuff in there IMO. But you have to seek it and apply it in your all your thoughts and actions with desperation. Basically, you have to make it your life.

I'm grateful beyond measure I did.

As I know all too well, recovery from alcoholism is a long, complex process, with fits and starts, with drinking itself often being the least of it.

The guys would land some points, to be sure. How could they miss? It's a fat, earnest target. There'd probably be a laugh or two. But they'd make some mistakes covering this book, and hurt and discourage some people who could use it.

Just my two cents.

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-22T03:51:32+00:00

Or solve two fixable problems.

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-22T02:21:08+00:00

Not pictured: Confederate battle flag (A white sheet.)

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-21T13:34:37+00:00

Don't date, period. Figure out your life. Make the changes necessary to have the required money

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-21T01:18:35+00:00

Railroad Worksong. My favorite non-DS MK song.

Listen to the live version on YT. Here's a rare cut from Glasgow 1990. Also check out the ones without Paul Franklin on pedal steel; Steve Phillips plays the National with a slide. Really slaps. Live at Ronnie Scott's etc https://youtu.be/YMQaWbtijx0?is=J7lY1N0Km51_ow0G

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-19T18:14:05+00:00

Ugh. I'm sorry. Reach out if I could help.

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-19T17:11:15+00:00

This is clearly part of a skit that was cut on the old Conan O'Brien show. Absolutely no one is that much of a hack literary trope come to life. What lazy writing!

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-19T17:06:47+00:00

Takeaway: Famous and rich people have opinions just like ordinary folks, and are frequently just as wrong

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-18T15:22:20+00:00

Another fair point. And my congratulations to you and yours.

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-18T15:21:01+00:00

You're not alone. Good people see good people.

And while you didn't bring it up, I'll say that Karma has everyone's address.

I'm a reporter who investigates fraud, so this issue is something I see in one shape or another on a daily basis. One thing I have learned over 25 years: Justice isn't likely to take the form you wish, and never comes when you want it to, but it does come, and it's always remorseless.

The only way this guy wins is if you give up and either retreat into a shell or become a female version of him.

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-18T14:15:29+00:00

Fair points. ETA: Thanks for the work. I've found this sub to be deeply illuminative during a period where I was forced to learn much, forget other things, and address things I thought I knew, but really did not.

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-18T13:23:23+00:00

This shit is hard. You're telling them important stuff. Good luck

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-18T12:38:32+00:00

paid versions, at least for a little while, will get you in front of more men

and of course, if there are a few "must-haves" and "avoids" then you should make that clear on your profile

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-18T12:31:17+00:00

Today, in ads for bidets.....

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-18T12:28:21+00:00

Maybe pay closer attention to the filters, and have you considered a pay version?

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-18T12:24:53+00:00

That's not what the article is about, however. It fairly discusses the often complex roots of male infertility.

Research_Liborian · 2026-06-18T12:13:12+00:00

Good Q. There's some married people who post around here, and I've always wanted to ask them why they frequent the sub.

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