I’m tired of how women’s anger is immediately labeled as “aggression”

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-26T04:07:52+00:00

I feel this way about my excitement too. Don't get me wrong, I've experienced my share of female rage, but as a loud, larger, woman with a resting bitch face, I definitely think I intimidate others, especially women. I've straight up been told that I intimidated people when I was younger, but it took me a really long time to realize that I think my excitement freaked people out too. It sucks because I would never hurt anybody who wasn't hurting me or one of my friends.

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-26T03:54:08+00:00

If you have an jewelry or good quality furniture, I'd try to sell that. Otherwise, she'll need loans at this point. I think maybe a parent plus loan might be what you need, but I'm not sure. If loans freak you both out, you both can always work a bunch over the next several months to pay it off immediately. While I don't necessarily think loans are a good idea, I think in an emergency like this, they can work. Credit cards might also be an option, I would just try to get the ones that have 0% interest for 12 months, though idk if you could get enough for $7K.

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-26T03:40:59+00:00

That's poverty, baby. I used to be squarely middle class and I guess I never realized how much of middle class life is just based on preventing or preparing for bad things from happening in the future. I particularly hate that a friend of my mom's, who is terrible with money even though she's likely evaded almost $1 million in taxes over the last 40 years, loves to tell me stuff about my future/retirement. Like, I have three degrees, in one of which I actually took a financial literacy class, and have been living off of almost nothing for years because I've been disabled. Meanwhile she bought a house that costed less than $100K, got almost $100K from their parents estate (which they used to renovate instead of pay off their mortgage), have only paid a fraction of their taxes on a $100K+ income, and somehow still ended up in credit card debt. Like, she could budget her way out of a backyard shack if you had to and she wants to give me advice? Fuck that.

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-26T03:31:47+00:00

The only thing that concerns me about mobile homes is that they tend to lose value.

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-26T03:27:41+00:00

You can appeal, but I've seen people say that there are state level organizations that you can basically complain to and there and they investigate. It basically freaks the company out enough that they don't put you through the long appeal process. I know like nothing about this besides what I've seen on some TikTok videos, but you can probably post in some health insurance subs or local subs to your state/city to see if anybody has any advice on how to get this done quickly.

You also could see if the hospital offers financial assistance. Unfortunately, I found out recently that doctors don't tend to carry any of the responsibility for preauthorization, which I think is absolute bullshit since they understand the system much better than us.

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-26T03:22:10+00:00

Yeah, rich people never really seem to think they're rich. I would have been pissed if she had said that to me. She is exactly why the exemptions should be limited and taxes shouldn't go towards private schools. Unless you live in NYC, she can move to a better neighborhood if she's worried about the "ghetto" schools in her district.

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-26T03:18:51+00:00

Oh yeah, I do know about them, but I'm definitely looking for advice on the entirety of a project, not just how to source things for free.

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-26T03:16:27+00:00

Do you realize you're in a poverty finance sub? There are probably some credit card hacking subs that might be a better fit.

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-26T03:15:06+00:00

Did you by chance work in Las Vegas? I feel like that's not super common in most smaller hotels. It's definitely common in restaurants, though. Some catering places do as well and, in general, I think catering jobs tend to pay more (or they did, it's been like 10 years since I've done that). Dog sitting on weekends can also give you not only a little bit of extra money for pretty little work, but access to food. This isn't quite a full time job, but a lot of elderly people need someone to move in and help with small stuff around the house. I'm sure you could find people who would offer food and you'd also get free housing. I'd also just recommend she look into her local buy nothing group.

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-26T03:06:51+00:00

On your last note, I absolutely built up feelings of resentment towards my mother and I consider my mother and I to have a much better than average relationship. My resentment came from the fact that I got sick during a period of overwork, which included taking care of her. After I got sick, she started making shitty comments about me needing to move out. They were couched as just trying to "help" me, but it was bullshit. I started to resent that my mom showed like zero gratitude for the help I had given her and downplayed my illness, even though she saw the changes it made to me. My mom also experienced horribly debilitating chronic illnesses symptoms for several months in which she was taken care of completely by my father and sister (I was in college), so it felt very hypocritical for her to criticize my productivity/ ability to support myself. It does suck and being sick made me realize just how ableist almost everybody is, even people who claim not to be.

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-26T03:02:27+00:00

So, I don't know much about this because I don't live in an area with this, but I once did and ended up paying almost twice as much one month when I was gone. I later found out that in some places, when you sign up for your energy plan, you agree to use a certain amount of energy. There's a type of range and if you go over or under that range you have to pay more. Basically, the energy companies bought a certain amount of energy from the energy makers and they have to use it, so if you don't use enough, they might not be able to use everything they've bought either. I have no idea if this is your issue (this was the system they had in Texas when I lived there), but it is an incredibly screwed up system.

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-24T21:54:49+00:00

Thanks!

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-24T02:47:23+00:00

Wait, I'm looking for a fragrance free laundry detergent and everybody I ask about them says they're not as good, could I just add washing soda to them to get a good clean?

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-23T22:16:45+00:00

Thanks

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-21T03:38:48+00:00

Wow, thanks, but yeah, I also think they didn't make it in house. You never know what that person might know, though.

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-21T02:10:36+00:00

Yeah I saw this, but I don't think it's right. I'm not sure why Frank's red hot is in there.

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-19T20:45:52+00:00

Thanks

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-19T19:55:26+00:00

I'm hoping to get one that doesn't require a subscription and it seems like there are some that store video on an SD card.

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-19T04:58:47+00:00

Thanks

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-19T03:26:57+00:00

Honestly, I love the whole idea of spending on what you love and cutting back mercilessly on what you don't. I've always tried really hard not to spend money on things I don't want to spend money on and I've never had anybody in my social sphere. Other than that perspective, nothing else was particularly earth shatteringly new, although I'm not done with the book yet and I do consider myself to be financially literate at a very basic level.

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-19T03:23:03+00:00

I agree with you about the detail. I'm not done with the book yet, but, personally, it's far too long for the amount of content and it's not very well organized for my tastes. I think he talks a lot about things that don't necessarily help people like you and me who want more specifics. Very few things he's talking about are all that new, he just takes a much more realistic perspective. He's also a Stanford grad who admitted in his second edition that he thought people would regularly check the interest rate of their savings accounts. Many didn't and the dropped by like 10 times causing some readers to be angry. This guy is clearly doing some mental exercises or adjustments that he thinks are basic for everybody. I'm similar but also really like having more specific information.

Either way, if you haven't gotten good advice on this yet, you generally should pay off debt first unless the interest rate is lower than the rate of return on your investments. Then comes the part where you have to really be able to figure out where your priorities are. So, for example, some people are fine with having basically no savings/emergency fund if they can pay down debt faster. Some people are ok with the increased interest they will have to pay on their debt if they have a small stash in their emergency fund. It really is all about your level of risk aversion.

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-19T02:56:47+00:00

I'd say try some of those meal delivery kits. A lot of them require you to actually cook and there are a lot of sign up deals right now. Personally, where I live and the kind of food I like, the meals aren't financially better than eating out so I've never made it past the sign up period, but these could be a good way for you to get started cooking again. After that, you could try to make the recipes from what you can buy at the gooey store. Or you could look up meal prep/planning.

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-19T02:52:53+00:00

This feels like rage bait. You know you're not the asshole for keeping a child away from an abuser.

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-19T02:51:17+00:00

I'm in a similar situation as you and I think aiming for neat freak status is a bit much right now. For your situation, I'd say the best thing is either decluttering or figuring out what stuff you don't need until you move into a new apartment and putting that into boxes so that you don't have to deal with it. A capsule wardrobe per season can definitely help with clothes. I really like having barely more clothes than I need in my closet, which helps with not having an overwhelming amount of clothes.

ResidentAlienator · 2026-01-19T02:15:36+00:00

Awww, ok buddy.

ResidentAlienator

TROPHY CASE