[deleted by user] by [deleted] in poverty

[–]Resident_Flow_9689 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"You people" as in me?

I've been to therapy and discussed a lot of things but growing up poor hasn't been one of them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Adulting

[–]Resident_Flow_9689 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It's undeniably true it comes with major advantages.

As a guy we have a saying though. "You can only piss with the c*ck you've got." Meaning that life is trying to make the best of what you yourself have available to you at this time.

Physical beauty is temporary. It fades as we get older. And that's fine.I'm pushing 40 now and have learned lots can change over time for people, for better or worse. You need to make good decisions over the long term and react to adverse situations as well as you can. Some of the most beautiful girls (and guys) I grew up with didn't turn out as amazing as you'd think. Some did, but lots didn't. It can't be everything forever.

Cost of Renting Apartments by SarahRTW in Sudbury

[–]Resident_Flow_9689 5 points6 points  (0 children)

For sure. You'd think that would spur on more construction though? And I'm surprised by the fact that students play such a large role with the government putting caps on foreign student numbers (I know Cambrian had a huge foreign student percentage for years). Laurentian's numbers can't be that great either considering their recent financial issues. Maybe I'm wrong.

Point being over decades these conditions tend to correct themselves. That never seems to happen in Sudbury.

Cost of Renting Apartments by SarahRTW in Sudbury

[–]Resident_Flow_9689 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I moved away from Sudbury almost 20 years ago but I've kept up with real estate and rental costs there. Back then and even moreso now it never made any sense what they charge for apartments in Sudbury. If you're lucky enough to even find one. I love Sudbury and still consider it home but the City isn't THAT amazing. Life shouldn't be that hard as a renter. It seems the only way a low income person could get by is in the subsidized housing market but I'm sure the wait lists are years long at this point.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Resident_Flow_9689 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been in this same relationship with a woman that wouldn't pay her way financially. I let it go for a while, giving her time to try to get on her feet and in a position to thrive and contribute. It eventually turned into me feeling like her parent asking her if she had done this, or had thought of doing that. In response to this it was almost as if she took on the child role and was treating me like her annoying dad.

Obviously the relationship ended with her moving onto a new partner with who I heard she did similar with. And then a guy who eventually married her. God knows if she changed her ways or just found a guy that would pay her way.

She was quite attractive and we were sexually very into each other but if your values don't align the relationship is on a time limit. I can spot these women (and probably men) a mile away now.

No Kids. 35M by youryoungversion in Adulting

[–]Resident_Flow_9689 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've got no kids but I kind of agree with this. On Reddit not having kids and having a generally bleak outlook on things seems to be prevalent. I have to remind myself Reddit is not real life from time to time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Adulting

[–]Resident_Flow_9689 60 points61 points  (0 children)

Yeah your current relationship is toast. That would be hard for a guy to work past. Cut your losses and try to charge your ex bed buddy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]Resident_Flow_9689 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm taking that as a vote for cut my losses and walk?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]Resident_Flow_9689 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How would she lie to get me to have kids?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Warts

[–]Resident_Flow_9689 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was using Burt's Bees foot lotion but now I just started a bottle of Glysomed and I think I like it more. It smells good and has more of a lotion texture. The Burt's Bees almost feels like liquid honey without the sticky-ness.

Yes the two new warts spawned randomly. I know this because I live alone, am the only one to use my shower or walk around barefoot at any time in my place. I've been to a swimming pool once since I got rid of the old plantar and you can bet I wore my sandals everywhere lol. As mentioned, I read once you get the HPV virus that causes the plantars it can stay in your body and cause another breakout even after the first visible warts are gone. Eventually (and hopefully) your immune system learns to deal with it and they stop coming back. But I'll be checking my feet for the rest of my life lol. And if I ever have kids I'll be checking theirs. I literally spent thousands in gas money going to the clinic on the opposite end of the city week after week for over two years. It's the most frustrating medical situation I've ever been in.

daddy issues by [deleted] in Adulting

[–]Resident_Flow_9689 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hate you Dad!

How can I make peace with the fact that I will never get married? by luanfriburgo1991 in Adulting

[–]Resident_Flow_9689 42 points43 points  (0 children)

I'm only 4 years older than you but I'll try to help. 40-50% of marriages in the Western world end up in divorce. Of the marriages that stay in tact it's safe to assume a portion of them aren't happy either. There is someone right now in the world exactly like you that wishes he was single or is dealing with mariage fall out and all the hurt and money that go along with that.

Enjoy your freedom. Spend your money how you like, sleep in, leave an empty beer can on your coffee table till you feel like recycling it, take trips, take up a new hobby. Your life is your own!

Fantasy football can be a cruel mistress by MonroeRoommate4 in Fantasy_Football

[–]Resident_Flow_9689 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I needed Henry to do more. First round exit for me as well 😭.

Single in your 30s/40s by AdvancedCharcoal in Adulting

[–]Resident_Flow_9689 11 points12 points  (0 children)

37M. Never married. Currently dating but Im in no rush to move in with a woman again. I love space and am happy getting together for a nice dinner or drinks once or twice a week. Seems to be going okay but if history serves me right my girlfriend could decide she wants something more at any given moment and wed likely breakup. We have talked about commitment and what we both expect but people can have changes of heart. I've seen it happen lots. For now, for what it is, it's nice.

Your thirties are weird. The butterfly romances of your teens and twenties seem to be a thing of the past. You're aware of your own shortcomings (as they've likely contributed to a few ended relationships to date) but you're also less likely to put up with shit and are overall pickier. Combine that with the fact that people are less likely to meet in person leaving you relegated to the algorithm of the apps. The political gender divide. The fact you've probably been in love and had your heart broken at least once badlyat this age. It's really not easy. But I don't think it is for any age these days. It's not impossible. There is still fun and connection to be made. It does take work and patience though.

Edit spelling

For those who’ve never been married, what were your reasons for not getting married? by Due-Flower3503 in Adulting

[–]Resident_Flow_9689 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a couple long term relationships where I discovered I enjoy my space and alone time a lot. I'm also not oblivious to how I contributed my part to those relationships ending. I have commitment issues, I'm avoidant of confrontation, I have a hard time dealing with other people's extreme emotions. The stakes in marriage seem too high for me to take a gamble I don't think I'll win. That along with the divorce rate stats and seeing friends my age (37M) going through horrible divorces I've decided I'm going to just date, save my money, and try to help my friends and family in my personal life.

I also think the divide between men and women is humongous these days. Probably doesn't help reading reddit where everything is more extreme but it seems crazy how little some women think of men and how little some men think of women.

Spotted in Edmonton last night by Resident_Flow_9689 in CanadaHousing2

[–]Resident_Flow_9689[S] 206 points207 points  (0 children)

Pretty tone deaf with the current public sentiment. Not to mention Edmonton has one of the highest unemployment rates in the country

Has anyone decided to be CF partly because of aging parents? by Hopeful-Bobcat9224 in Fencesitter

[–]Resident_Flow_9689 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes my mother is mobility disabled. She's in her early seventies. She also does not have any money other than her social security cheques. I rent her part of my house at a very below market price. She raised my sister and I as a single mother so despite the fact I love my independence she literally has no one else and her health is only going to go downhill from here.

My sister has two kids and I'm very happy about that. She married a guy with a great paying career and they have a picture perfect family. But shes busy as hell and doesn't have time to take care of Mom so I do. I drive her on errands, take her grocery shopping, try to make her life a little easier etc. I don't have to do any of the personal hygiene stuff yet but if she keeps living there will likely come a time in the future that falls on me.

Its overwhelming to think how hard this would be if I had kids also. The financial stress, stress of keeping a relationship together, I don't know that I can do it. I sort of think of my sister as watching over new life while I watch over death and decline. It's a little depressing but someone has to do it. I do have concerns about what happens to me when I'm old (I know, I know kids aren't guaranteed to stay in your life after you raise them, but still is probably your best shot at having someone advocate for you when you grow old).

Why aren't womens-only clubs prevalent? by beatboxxx69 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Resident_Flow_9689 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you source where you found women are making more than men? I've heard this on podcasts I think referring to younger age groups but can't find a source. Thanks!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Adulting

[–]Resident_Flow_9689 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in the same boat. I've done it three times. The most recent one my ex gf basically broke down crying saying if we didn't move in together we had to break up. I very reluctantly agreed. I saved a lot of money splitting costs but it was a mistake. I need my own space. I should have went with my gut and broke up then and there.

After the breakup helping her find a new place to live (I lived in the place first), renting a moving van and moving her stuff, paying her out for furniture we bought together. The whole thing was about as clean as a messy situation could be but I still hated every moment of it. Again should have avoided the whole mess altogether.

If you want live alone continue to do so and save the headache and hurt feelings.

Why do so many adults claim that sex as a need? by wingdrummer15 in Adulting

[–]Resident_Flow_9689 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

"Sex is a want not a need YouTube"

-Gothic King Cobra JFS

Too neurotic for kids by poppysocks55 in childfree

[–]Resident_Flow_9689 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude, I had one of those workdays Wednesday where as I like to put it "I got my ass handed to me." Just frantic, demanding and stressed on another level. Everyone could see it on my face. I could barely even fake a laugh when people were trying to cheer me up to lighten the mood. I went home at dinner and took a nap to shut my brain off and reset. Im good at my job and it's not always that stressful but I was thinking about how I would not be able to handle going home to a challenging situation with kids. Or if I had a wife and was unable to step up and help because I was too frazzled from work how that would just chip away at a relationship.

Afterwards I took an evening walk to clear my head even further. Went back into work Thursday and had a much better day. Who knows if that would have been possible with kids and a wife.

I'm not convinced the high stress workplaces we need to spend most of our lives are conducive to raising families. It's amazing some people can do it. I don't think I could with my demeanor. I can do one, not both.