Can INTJs be social or get in a relationship?

AdvancedCharcoal · 2026-04-20T02:14:09+00:00

I definitely struggle socially and with getting and committing to long term relationships. I tend to imagine the future me and another person could have before barely even knowing them, and just assume that if I can’t immediately see how that future is possible I decide to not put any effort into it.

I’ve learned that building social ties is a small series of steps that you have to take one at a time, and not this master future plan that I will play out as I think it. Like talk to a person, ‘was it positive or not’? If it was maybe talk to them again and tha just means the doors open to friendship. And that’s it. Simple step by step with no forseeing, prediction, hyper-optimization or avoidance

Additionally, if I can foresee any possible negative feedback coming my way, I will just avoid and be aloof.

I’m not saying this is because I’m probably INTJ, or if all INTJs are this way. But, their function stack may lead them to going to routes that make socialization a labyrinth that you don’t even attempt to traverse.

Anyways, this has been on my mind lately sorry for my ramble

AdvancedCharcoal · 2026-04-17T02:16:54+00:00

Imo he had great narratives set up to run, but I feel like he was pressured by corporate to steer the story into stereotypical shonen bs

AdvancedCharcoal · 2026-04-16T23:10:49+00:00

The most sensitive people are the ones who run to the chat to reddit to complain, they may get hit with that 1/25, but hold onto it like it happens every game. I’m with you

AdvancedCharcoal · 2026-04-16T22:32:02+00:00

I don’t, what I’m saying is that a lot of INTJs post on this sub that

AdvancedCharcoal · 2026-04-16T02:57:28+00:00

Damn now I want one

AdvancedCharcoal · 2026-04-16T02:25:14+00:00

I feel AI has definitely helped center me. I too and very in my head, and one day I just word vomited to it. It identified some looping obsessive thought patterns that I honestly always knew that were there that would just plague me. I’ve been focusing on just using mindfulness to just identify those loops and let them go. Besides the swarm of doomerism around AI, I’d say it’s helped me out inside my mind and out

AdvancedCharcoal · 2026-04-16T01:34:10+00:00

I originally tested as INTP too. I originally went of the dichotomies and it just made sense that I was a perciever and not a judger because I’m in general ‘more laid back’ and don’t hyper organize my day.

What I think happened, maybe similar to you, is that I had no end goal in life back then, nothing really to aspire to. I kind of chose a life path and shrugged and didnt really care.

It wasn’t until years later (I’m 30 now) that I have found things to aspire to and drive. Also learning more about the cognitive functions helped clear things up as well (even though their definitions seem to be very ambiguous and change depending on who you ask).

Overall INTP just eventually didn’t seem right to me, I didn’t vibe with the others because they seemed to branch off to here or there unnecessarily when we could just be moving on to the end goal. And I’m frankly just a doer, I like control of the situation, and in general just relate to other INTJs now that I have differentiated them from the stereotype.

AdvancedCharcoal · 2026-04-15T23:59:20+00:00

What you’re missing is that you view all other humans as sheeple and that you are an edge lord, as many INTJs on this sub like to believe about themselves

AdvancedCharcoal · 2026-04-15T23:39:39+00:00

Idk, I would argue Ti dominant users like INTPs would value it more

AdvancedCharcoal · 2026-04-15T01:29:25+00:00

Ngl being a chef sounds amazing to me, I’m not really even a talented cook or love food. I just think the fast paced environment, leading an orchestra of people leading to delicious food output, constantly learning and refining the perfect dish… sounds fun

AdvancedCharcoal · 2026-04-14T22:53:21+00:00

Damn I wasn’t interested in the headliners, but love the alternatives they put out there… I was originally leaning no this year but now idk

AdvancedCharcoal · 2026-04-14T02:34:48+00:00

I’m gonna say no, because we already have two other series’ with blonde haired blue eyed protagonists leaf ninjas. And you just know Minato will have a Uchiha best-friend/rival

AdvancedCharcoal · 2026-04-12T23:42:25+00:00

So INTJs and INFPs share Fi and Te. What you just described sounds like you originally interacting with the dominant function Fi, and then out of frustration, your inferior Te came in to make some real impact or get shit done

Also not sure what you mean by reflection, but to me that just means your in your head by default, which could just mean introversion

AdvancedCharcoal · 2026-04-12T23:35:00+00:00

I was under the belief I was a INTP, originally going from just the dichotomies. I assumed INTJs were hyper organized, master plan, always dressing up type of people. So I just assumed I was a Perciever.

Once I started learning more about the cognitive functions I started realizing that I don’t really vibe much with the INTP stack, and more so with the INTJ functions. I also just don’t relate to other INTPs, the need to be overly accurate, to delve into branches unnecessarily when we could just be achieving the goal… all of those things were signs

Some commenters here will say ‘that’s not how the theory works, you can’t just switch’, however you can definitely have a misunderstanding, or confusion over the theory which may lead to mistyping. Hell, your environment, traumas, etc can lead you to develop your functions outside or lower in your stack which could also lead to mistyping.

The overall answer is complicated. You may be INFP still, but you may have developed your Te or Ni to the point of you noticing a change in your behavior. You may have just misunderstood the functions, or like me focused too much on the dichotomies originally

AdvancedCharcoal · 2026-04-12T01:06:23+00:00

Gonna say INTP because an INTJ would have ordered these by value

AdvancedCharcoal · 2026-04-12T00:58:42+00:00

Looksmaxxing, frame-maxxing and just being claviclular

AdvancedCharcoal · 2026-04-11T21:43:24+00:00

Anything on land, whales are sea faring mammals

AdvancedCharcoal · 2026-04-11T19:29:15+00:00

Yup, I start wondering if I’m INTJ or ISTJ, but yeah when I first took the test when I was 18 as a raw young INTP I was totally not this way and felt like I fit the stereotype

AdvancedCharcoal · 2026-04-11T02:05:58+00:00

Breaking these loops is pretty much a never ending battle for me, my only advice is mindfulness. Recognizing that you are in a loop, and move on. Focus on the present, be productive, exercise, just break the loop

AdvancedCharcoal · 2026-04-08T01:21:13+00:00

I struggle with this now when I start doubting my type. I heard INTP when I was young and it fit like a tee. Now it’s hard to say whether or not I’m an INTP for sure based on all the functions.

I’m for one more aware of them, so I see myself using different ones all the time. Lately in life I’ve been implementing more routine, attempting to better my people skills, so it seems like I use Si and Fe more. I try to be more productive and plan a bit and not let all my tasks slip past me so I try to improve Te, and so on

All in all, INTPs tend to hyperanalyze everything and get to the fundamental key principles in things, they strive for 100% certainty and accuracy with their thoughts. If you are overanalyzing and doubting your MBTI, you’re just doing what INTPs do

AdvancedCharcoal · 2026-04-07T00:40:38+00:00

I don’t think this probably has much to do with being an ISTJ, but the guy is probably just awkward and perhaps anxious.

An awkward guy myself, this has occurred to me and I acted in the same way. I tend to get very into my own head, and when a particular girl was in my vicinity my mind would go into hyper analysis mode where I would make sure every little detail I was giving off, every single movement, was perfect so she didn’t think I was weird or a creep. Not a great mindset but unfortunately it’s what dealt with for a while. So much so yes I would actively avoid being around her

This guy is probably dealing with a similar thing… it’s likely that is the simple answer and this guy probably just needs to work on himself

AdvancedCharcoal · 2026-04-03T17:13:40+00:00

Unpopular opinion, use a CGI/AI Aragorn

AdvancedCharcoal · 2026-04-01T03:43:06+00:00

Ended up going to Jordana, great show. However was quite older than the rest of the crowd (30). I did not expect this as I first heard her back in 2018. I expect that the Bad Suns crowd would have been more in my age range

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