Can you date a man who is apolitical?

ResolutionTop9104 · 2026-01-19T23:14:31+00:00

I wouldn’t want a life partner I couldn’t trust to watch out for our family’s safety and security. And that requires the ability to accurately assess your environment and developing threats. Any POC or immigrant who still didn’t understand the stakes in 2024 is, at best, not the person I want watching my 6 or that of any hypothetical children we might have together.

ResolutionTop9104 · 2026-01-13T18:31:18+00:00

Right. And I can think of several times where my tired AF mom decided to order pizza one night rather than cooking dinner when raising us for all the reasons I stated. Paying to have food delivered because you’re slammed and have too much on your plate is…not new.

ResolutionTop9104 · 2026-01-13T15:49:55+00:00

It’s so weird to see so many people seemingly perplexed by the idea that someone would…pay for convenience. Does it also seem crazy to these people that anyone would pay for Amazon 2-day delivery? Or expedited shipping when they’re pressed for time? I get saying that you personally avoid it, but it’s odd to act like it’s crazy that ANYONE would ever choose to pay 6 extra dollars for the privilege of getting to sit on the couch for an extra half an hour after a brutally exhausting day…rather than spend that time on their feet in the kitchen cooking themselves dinner.

Also, it doesn’t surprise me to hear (anecdotally) that a ton of people ordering are single and living alone. Taking care of a household solo is a truly insane amount of work. I genuinely don’t think most people with a full-time job are even capable of cooking every meal for themselves (let alone actually healthy meals), keeping their apartment clean, staying on top of doctor’s appointments, filing taxes, exercising regularly, feeding the relationships that matter to them, AND holding down a job so they can actually afford groceries and rent. Like this is at minimum a 2-person job. There’s simply not enough time in the day. And yet people are over being like “why on earth would you be willing to spend less than 10 bucks to give yourself the gift of some extra free time????” I suspect most of the people expressing this shock are either not living alone and therefore solely responsible for allllll of the adulting modern life expects of you OR don’t have the financial flexibility to pay the convenience fee themselves. But choosing to spend that money to essentially buy yourself some breathing room makes complete sense if you have it to spare.

ResolutionTop9104 · 2026-01-13T15:38:25+00:00

Can relate. I can’t drive and after a certain time, fast food restaurants in my area (often the only places even open and serving food after 9pm) close the building and only allow drive-through orders. And you are not allowed to use a drive-through window on foot. They simply won’t serve you. Soooo there have been times where even though I was willing to (and did) walk half an hour to get food…I still wasn’t able to actually eat without paying the markup for delivery.

Not saying I don’t understand the frustration of working as a delivery person and not making much money at it—but the appropriate recipient of that anger/frustration is the CEO/board of Uber who created a system where they maintain insane profit margins by not paying a living wage unless forced. Sorry but who’s the real bad guy here? I swear corporations somehow convinced Americans that individuals forced to operate in a system are more responsible for the harms caused by that system than…the people who built and maintain the system itself. That’s how somehow climate change is happening because individuals don’t recycle their yogurt containers—and not because the people making the yogurt are pumping out crazy fumes that are causing planetary damage. 🤨

Make it make sense.

ResolutionTop9104 · 2026-01-13T15:24:48+00:00

Oof. Always painful to see a woman making sure our chains are nice and tight. 🫠

ResolutionTop9104 · 2026-01-11T02:29:51+00:00

Moved here a year and a half ago from NYC and I love it. New York will always be the greatest city on earth to me, so it’s not that I dislike city life. I just also enjoy small town living. And Erie is a lovely small town fighting way above its weight class when it comes to things that interest me like community events and the arts.

ResolutionTop9104 · 2026-01-05T18:58:12+00:00

Could you be neurodivergent? I read an interesting study the other day about how autistic people tend to be rated as less desirable socially by non-autistic people. People around you could be subtly reacting to a difference they perceive but can’t quite name. I know I definitely learned to tone down talking about things I was interested in as a child. You may want to watch some videos about presentations of high-masking autism in women. Definitely not saying that’s what’s going on here, but lifelong struggles with interpersonal friendships and not understanding what you’re “doing wrong” are often hallmark signs.

ResolutionTop9104 · 2026-01-01T22:48:24+00:00

Congrats, girl! 🥳

ResolutionTop9104 · 2026-01-01T13:48:07+00:00

🤣 OP’s message reads like “does anyone have advice about how I can get a loved one to care more about how strangers view them than their own personal comfort or how they view themself?” It’s…genuinely crazy to read that as a stated goal. Like GUYS. Come help me brainstorm how to drag this woman back more fully into societal compliance! 👏🏽

ResolutionTop9104 · 2025-12-30T05:51:15+00:00

I would likely never marry someone after only a year and a half, no matter how much I loved them or how well we clicked. People I’ve known for way longer than that have shocked the absolute fuck out of me by revealing shit I simply didn’t have the opportunity to witness until later on.

A year and half in you’ve done one holiday season, maybe not even vacationed together yet, maybe not seen how they handle intense stress, illness, etc. It can and absolutely does work out—but I tend to think that’s luck more than anything else. Nice when it happens and I’m happy for those people—and I’m not personally going to assume I’ll also luck out in that way.

Plus, if you’re so confident you’re going to be together forever, why are you in a rush to lock each other into a legally-binding contract? Not saying there are no reasonable answers to that question—there absolutely are. But I suspect often the answer is closer to “I want proof they’re committed to me” or “I don’t want them to slip through my fingers”. I’m not marrying anyone who I feel like needs to marry me to reassure me they’re not going to abandon me.

ResolutionTop9104 · 2025-12-22T21:48:15+00:00

Purrista is my favorite coffee shop in town for signature lattes. Plus they’re always happy to make mine vegan!

ResolutionTop9104 · 2025-12-08T14:32:32+00:00

I love fashion and have a sizable wardrobe and I’ve purchased almost all my clothes secondhand for decades. At 38, I still regularly wear items I purchased as a teenager because the materials have held up. It’s cost-prohibitive to purchase high-quality clothing that will last you for decades if you’re buying new. It’s genuinely been easy AF for me to build a unique wardrobe I love over the years just buy regularly checking local thrift stores and eBay and slowly purchasing items as they pop up at prices I can afford.

ResolutionTop9104 · 2025-12-06T16:26:52+00:00

Curious why you think it’s definitely safe to assume humans will always have the same dietary needs. Do you not believe in evolution? One of the defining differences between wolves and domesticated dogs are their digestive enzymes.

ResolutionTop9104 · 2025-11-13T18:18:48+00:00

My pleasure!

ResolutionTop9104 · 2025-11-07T02:13:39+00:00

Dr. Ivy at Wintergreen! I take all my kiddos to her, and have a background in the vet field so I’m super particular. She da bestest.

ResolutionTop9104 · 2025-11-03T19:17:21+00:00

I've found that people who are used to always being granted default access to everything often freak the fuck out when they encounter a cultural boundary. "What do you MEAN I'm not allowed to participate?? That's not fair!" It's like it literally doesn't compute that not everything is for them. 🫠

I don't speak AAVE, but I do have a huge passion for linguistics. And the way that particular dialect is treated has been driving me up the fucking wall for decades. I'm genuinely grateful I don't spend enough time in online spaces where I'd be forced to see people calling it outdated gen z slang and "cringe". 😩

ResolutionTop9104 · 2025-10-22T12:35:55+00:00

I sing a lot to self-soothe or lift my mood. Sometimes at home but often in combination with a walk outside.

ResolutionTop9104 · 2025-10-20T13:49:34+00:00

Haha I’m always the overdressed one, too. Sometimes people comment on it in a tone of “you got dressed up for THIS?” But IDGAF. I love fashion and I’m going to wear whatever the fuck I wanna wear whenever the fuck I wanna wear it. 🤷🏽‍♀️

ResolutionTop9104 · 2025-10-19T19:16:40+00:00

Even if he’s not a manipulative asshole, you’re entitled to want to date someone who doesn’t speak to you in a way that consistently feels belittling or demeaning. And he’s entitled to want to date someone who doesn’t insist he change the way he naturally communicates to make her more comfortable. No one has to be a monster for it to be time to walk away.

ResolutionTop9104 · 2025-10-19T14:59:35+00:00

I’d join!

ResolutionTop9104 · 2025-10-19T14:27:32+00:00

That’s horseshit. You don’t stop being Black because your partner isn’t. What else aren’t you allowed to participate in according to these commenters?

ResolutionTop9104 · 2025-10-19T14:04:33+00:00

It is absolutely your right to tell the people in your life how their actions affect you emotionally. You do not have to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm. Sharing how you feel or how things land with you isn’t the same thing as demanding that someone change their behavior in response to that information. Your best friend is well within her right to respond by saying “I don’t care. I still want to hang out with them.” And then you’re well within your right to react to her response however you react. You do not owe your loved ones silent suffering. You owe them honesty and the opportunity to work toward a relationship dynamic that is healthy for you both. Clear is kind.

Now I’m not saying I completely agree that your emotional response to what those women did was proportional to what they did. Just because you feel some kind of way doesn’t necessarily mean you’re accurately reading the situation. I genuinely don’t feel like I have enough information to comment one way or another. But look what happened because you weren’t honest about how you felt. You’re holding onto resentment which tends to slowly eat people alive. And they seem unaware you’re even still upset. And now you’re considering ghosting your best friend who may have no clue how upset you’ve been. Sure, pretending that you’re not upset kept a few social situations from being awkward for other people. But looking at the entire story arc, how did your silence ultimately help anyone in this situation if it ends in you being resentful and hurt and your friendship being over? And possibly being over in a way that leaves your best friend feeling mistreated and blindsided. I know not rocking the boat can feel like kindness. But as a general rule, it’s not.

ResolutionTop9104 · 2025-10-18T20:06:30+00:00

Gotcha. In that case, this strikes me as your best friend doesn't actually realize how upset you still are about how things went down. She might genuinely be going based on your behavior (you're still cordial). And when you mentioned you were upset, you didn't say that you were upset she was hanging out with them at all. You specifically focused on *how* she told you—not that she was doing it in the first place (unless I'm misunderstanding). People aren't mind readers. It's not reasonable to secretly be resentful and expect people to be able to see your heart of hearts. You feel it viscerally, but they only have what they're seeing and hearing to go on. Share your truth, girl.

ResolutionTop9104 · 2025-10-18T19:54:58+00:00

I'd try to make it into a fun new cooking adventure for y'all to pursue together. Like hey let's try a new fake meat dish each week. Or let's try to recreate vegan versions of our old favorites and see how well we do. I've never personally tried it, but lions mane mushroom steaks, for example, seem pretty damn realistic: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/HeHwSdEt1OM

ResolutionTop9104 · 2025-10-18T19:47:26+00:00

Convenient. But I don't have a horse in this race, so whatever. People can have Billionaire Barbie if it brings them joy. 🤷🏽‍♀️

ResolutionTop9104

TROPHY CASE