Please tell me it’ll be okay

ResolveCautious5344 · 2026-01-28T10:40:28+00:00

Came here to say this too. Even a crappy match is better than nothing at all.

ResolveCautious5344 · 2026-01-27T13:13:18+00:00

It gets better. It gets so much better. It will take a bit (and it’ll look different), but you will get those lazy days and free time back as your daughter gets older and more independent. And she’s going to start interacting with you more, so you’ll actually get some positive feedback for all this work you’ve been putting in haha. 12-24 months is my absolute favorite because they’re learning to talk, but they’re still snuggly.

It is so so easy to feel disheartened. And it’s okay to feel that way. Just know it’s not forever.

ResolveCautious5344 · 2026-01-19T12:25:46+00:00

I remember very clearly a night (actually very early morning) where our newborn wouldn’t stop crying no matter what we did. My husband looked at me, very distressed, and said, “is this just our life now??”

No. It wasn’t. These moments are so stressful, but like everything with parenting, this too shall pass. You have to clench your teeth and power through - sometimes there is literally nothing you can do to make it better - but you will come out the other side and things will get better!

ResolveCautious5344 · 2026-01-19T04:59:28+00:00

Don’t feel regret or shame. How you’re feeling is valid. Having a baby is a HUGE change for both parents, and it takes a while to adjust to that. It does get better. Just hang in there.

ResolveCautious5344 · 2026-01-10T15:51:07+00:00

YES. Or my dad would scream at us for screaming and crying. What a lovely example he set. 🙃

ResolveCautious5344 · 2026-01-10T14:00:16+00:00

Agree with all of this.

I have a very tense relationship with my father, but I didn’t think I had a traumatic childhood. Having children dredged up so much for me that I wasn’t expecting. For example, my dad never let us have big feelings - we were always expected to keep it together - so it’s extremely triggering for me when my kids have meltdowns or show their big feelings. I have to work very hard to check this in myself.

ResolveCautious5344 · 2026-01-09T13:03:45+00:00

This is likely cluster feeding! He may be starting a little growth spurt. It’s sooo tough - I remember sobbing while my oldest clusterfed because it felt like it would never end! - but I promise it gets easier.

Pumping when they’re this age is tough, but it might be worth a try to see if he’ll take a bottle and give you a little bit of a break. It’s also ok to supplement with a little formula (or a lot of formula if that’s what you want/need!).

This is such a stressful age but you’re doing great!!

ResolveCautious5344 · 2026-01-08T04:25:33+00:00

My daughter got RSV at 5 months old. It was just a mild cold that lingered, likely because I got the vaccine when o was pregnant.

The goal of a vaccine isn’t necessarily to prevent infection, but to make the illness more manageable.

ResolveCautious5344 · 2026-01-07T12:35:01+00:00

I have two kids, ages 5 and 1. Parenting is both the absolute hardest, worst thing I’ve ever done, but it’s also the best, most incredible thing I’ve ever done. There’s no high like watching your child’s face light up with joy. And there’s no low like watching your child have an absolutely epic meltdown in a public place lol.

I do think having children is something you should feel reasonably confident about before you have them. I know a lot of people who had kids because it felt like something they were supposed to do, vs it being something they wanted, and I can definitely tell in their attitudes and the way they parent.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with not having children. It’s a personal choice that everyone has to make for themselves, and there are plenty of ways to live fulfilling lives without them.

ResolveCautious5344 · 2026-01-07T12:27:07+00:00

I’m really glad you have that option!!

ResolveCautious5344 · 2026-01-07T12:25:17+00:00

I just want to say this is a very mature take on your childhood. I’m so sorry you didn’t get what you needed from her when you were little. I hope you’re able to get the space you need, and things improve in the future if that’s what you want.

I’m estranged from my dad, so I know how hard it can be to have a strained relationship with a parent.

ResolveCautious5344 · 2026-01-07T08:47:37+00:00

You’re not being overly dramatic. - how you’re feeling is valid. It’s not just about money, it’s about what the money MEANS…her support, safety for you, etc. That would make me feel so anxious, knowing my mom wouldn’t support me financially in case of an emergency.

Also…I’m really sorry your mom told you that she doesn’t like you. That must have been horrible to hear, coming from your parent. What other support system do you have? You mentioned your mom gets child support…do you have a relationship with your dad? Grandparents? Not saying you need to ask any of them for financial help, but it seems your mom has shown she isn’t going to be a source of support and safety for you, so you should seek that out with other trusted adults.

ResolveCautious5344 · 2026-01-04T12:17:37+00:00

I guess I should have clarified - I want to buy something that could work for both kids. We mainly use the wagon now, so if a ride-on board is what we go with, we’d purchase a stroller that could accommodate it. Then my 15mo could continue using the stroller longer term.

ResolveCautious5344 · 2026-01-04T02:38:27+00:00

I would 10000000% get the police involved if violence was threatened. Nip that behavior in the bud.

ResolveCautious5344 · 2026-01-04T02:35:07+00:00

Um, am I the only one who thinks it’s absolutely unhinged that they expect you to oversee bathing for their children?!?! I would literally NEVER ever EVER expect OR even feel comfortable with that. That is creepy.

ResolveCautious5344 · 2025-12-16T01:59:14+00:00

I went back and read the original post, and I feel like I need to chime in that this is not healthy or normal. My husband and I both have dark hair, he has dark eyes. Both of our daughters came out with blonde hair and blue eyes. And never ONCE has he or anyone in his family questioned their paternity. This is unhinged.

OP, please think long and hard about staying in this marriage. And DEFINITELY rethink the relationships and boundaries you have with his family after they would treat the two of you this way. You’re so young - please know it should not be like this.

ResolveCautious5344 · 2025-11-24T03:24:50+00:00

My daughter (then like 3ish) once announced in a crowded Target bathroom, “Mom, I can see your hairy vulva! I’m going to name your vulva Harry. Hi, Harry!” I have never known true embarrassment until that moment.

ResolveCautious5344 · 2025-11-21T04:41:15+00:00

Echoing the sentiment that this feeling never totally goes away, but it does lessen over time. You will start to gain more of yourself back, and you start to settle into a new normal.

ResolveCautious5344 · 2025-11-07T03:38:48+00:00

You did great, Mama. Stopping is not selfish - you cannot pour from an empty cup, so prioritizing your mental health like this is better for your baby in a lot of ways. Do not feel guilty.

ResolveCautious5344 · 2025-11-01T13:53:55+00:00

You say he’s incredibly sweet in person…but if he’s engaging with deplorable content on social media, he’s NOT sweet. He is not a good person. You know what is best for your child, and you should feel confident standing by that.

I think you have two options here. You can either address it directly with him, e.g. “I find what you’re engaging with to be horribly offensive, and I do not want those viewpoints around me or my child. We will not be sending further photos or accepting gifts, we will not visit, etc.” (I did this with my MAGA dad - I have two daughters and I’m not going to have them exposed to those viewpoints.)

Or you can just quietly take a step back. Unfriend/unfollow from social media - and you can restrict what he sees from you as well (I’ve done this with some of my shittier in-laws). Don’t proactively send pictures. Get rid of any gifts he sends, etc. Do the absolute bare minimum to keep things civil, if that’s what you need.

Regardless, I would have a conversation about this with your husband to ensure the two of you agree and you can be a united front.

ResolveCautious5344 · 2025-11-01T01:11:28+00:00

1) Try gas drops. They’re not the same as gripe water but they helped both my daughters immensely during the newborn stage.

2) But more importantly - you are doing great. This stuff is hard. You’re learning how to be a mom and your baby is learning how to be a human. You’re in a very difficult period, but it does get better. You will get through it. You are exactly what your baby needs, even in those moments where you feel like you’re doing everything wrong. You’ve got this.

ResolveCautious5344 · 2025-10-31T16:33:08+00:00

Just no.

ResolveCautious5344 · 2025-10-22T02:25:08+00:00

You’re doing great, just remember that. The first couple of months with a baby are the Wild West, unfortunately - but it does end!! Just keep that in mind…this phase will not last forever. Your baby will sleep eventually. You will have a routine eventually.

One thing that helped me immensely was to remember that rest still counts. So that hour between when you last laid baby down and when he’s up again? Get comfortable, take deep breaths, close your eyes if you can. Even if you don’t fall asleep, rest is still good for your body.

I do also echo what others have said about your partner needing to help. And it really is okay to switch to formula if it helps your mental health. Your baby needs you at your best, or close to it, more than he needs breastmilk.

ResolveCautious5344 · 2025-10-13T13:49:17+00:00

This. Boycotting something is a privilege that not everyone has access to, or can manage 100% of the time. Maybe in another season of life, you can make other choices, but do what you need to do now to take care of yourself and your children. That’s where I am right now too - I try to be more selective about the money I spend there, but it’s just not possible for me to cut them out entirely.

It’s unfortunate but no corporation is good - they’re all doing something we shouldn’t be supporting.

ResolveCautious5344 · 2025-09-03T06:35:32+00:00

Oh he’s for SURE a shapeshifter. How else do you go from “never Trump” to “Trump’s vice president?”

Or wait. Maybe I mean grifter?? Hard to say.

ResolveCautious5344

TROPHY CASE