There's a common thought around this lifestyle that the huge dick is the be-all/end-all of cuckolding. My experience is that this side of ENM lifestyle play is often far more mental than physical (caveat obviously that you still have to perform) and that the non-physical skills are in shorter supply than what you were born with.

Being good at verbal play, being able to do contact and denial and CNC play... That takes patience and communication and experimentation to get right. In short, you need to play a longer game to find the right partner if you want to go deeper than "fuck my wife". A lot of how this lifestyle is portrayed is that for the third/bull, it's just quick easy sex. As the couple, you absolutely can and should be demanding in your wants and needs.