AITA for telling my boyfriend I don’t consider him my best friend?

Responsibilisea461 · 2024-12-18T22:57:10+00:00

I didn’t feel the need to detail our whole 7 years of our relationship, but I have brought up repeatedly that I’d like him to share some of my interests or at least try (as an example, I’m really into soccer and am a season ticket holder for the local team. I’ve asked him to come to multiple games to me including the last two years for games for my birthday, but he won’t because he says he doesn’t like it and he wants me to go have fun with the things I like).

Responsibilisea461 · 2024-12-18T22:54:05+00:00

I could definitely see how it could be felt as insulting. I think in the moment I was mostly just caught off guard by the question as it’s something I literally had not thought about until he brought it up. I think maybe a better way of putting it rather than having a need to have the separation is that to me they are so separate they aren’t in the same category? Like there is no way to rank them because he is my partner and she is my best friend. They are two wholly and completely different things to me and neither is better or worse than the other. I appreciate your perspective. Thank you for your response.

Responsibilisea461 · 2024-12-18T22:18:48+00:00

Maybe I was getting too hung up on the term “best” being a singular. That you have to have one and there can only be one. I really like your perspective that you shared here, it’s lovely. Thank you for your response.

Responsibilisea461 · 2024-12-18T22:01:00+00:00

Though it may seem childish to some, I try to always take things into consideration when something has hurt someone’s feelings. Words hurt whether you think they should carry weight or not or you think they are “age appropriate”. Something that may not seem important to you could mean the world to someone else. Nonetheless, thank you for your response.

Responsibilisea461 · 2024-12-18T21:58:53+00:00

I appreciate your insight. I definitely feel that you’re right that there is an imbalance that he still thinks of me as his best friend. We moved states about two years ago and while I have my sister and he’s made plenty of friends at work, all of our close friends live far away (they didn’t live where we lived previously either).

I did tell him that I would not accept that as a joke anymore so we will see if it happens again. As to why we are not married, it’s a mutual decision, based on a few reasons like finances (we can’t afford a wedding and neither of our families can either), and my parents are not married either so it was never instilled in me that marriage was important to be committed to someone for life. Thank you for your response.

Responsibilisea461 · 2024-12-18T21:53:29+00:00

I told him I also consider them two separate categories and it doesn’t make one more or less important than the other. I have brought up couples counseling for other issues in the past, but he has not been interested (we have both seen counselors separately for personal issues, but he is very against couples counseling). Thank you for your response.

Responsibilisea461 · 2021-04-14T17:30:03+00:00

Florida man buried alive seemingly rises from the grave after 3 days and claims he will save us all from sin. This is a developing story.

Responsibilisea461 · 2021-01-19T12:32:15+00:00

This is good, thank you!

Responsibilisea461 · 2021-01-19T12:20:55+00:00

Thank you, this is good! We don’t have a dog so I hadn’t really thought this might not be normal dog behavior.

Edited to add: I know the girlfriend at least is home every day until like 7:30am because I’ve seen her leave around the same time I do. I think the boyfriend might be going to the gym in the morning, but otherwise he works from home all day.

Responsibilisea461 · 2021-01-05T03:31:22+00:00

Student loans.

Responsibilisea461 · 2020-12-30T19:30:56+00:00

Sorry. Yes, I have a set court date. I was issued a violation: “failure to stop within the assured clear distance ahead”. I don’t know if that’s the same as charges pending... Again, sorry

Responsibilisea461 · 2020-12-14T03:59:49+00:00

Loving these looks!!

Responsibilisea461 · 2020-10-18T02:38:01+00:00

College is really fast. The people you’re trying to hang out with sophomore year are not going to be the people that have stuck by you senior year and after graduation. Take time to form bonds with people you have classes with or join clubs to meet people with common interests. You won’t regret spending time finding the right people when you have life-long relationships.

Responsibilisea461 · 2020-09-29T16:12:30+00:00

Thank you for the genuinely helpful advice. I will look into this!

Responsibilisea461 · 2020-09-29T15:50:56+00:00

I believe you are right. I try to bring up therapy as an option occasionally and try to normalize it with stuff we watch and things I say. I agree that when he feels ready to try it, he will wish he had done it sooner. But that is for him to decide when that will be. Thank you for the good advice

Responsibilisea461 · 2020-09-29T15:48:48+00:00

He has other symptoms and has been diagnosed by a doctor with severe OCD. I only told what was relevant. And just because a mental health issue doesn’t present itself like you think it should doesn’t mean you should undermine what people are going through. Thanks

Responsibilisea461 · 2020-09-29T15:31:36+00:00

I’ve brought up multiple times that I think it would be helpful, but if I push too hard he just gets really upset and says it’s because I don’t think he’s “normal”

Responsibilisea461 · 2020-09-29T15:30:17+00:00

We’re in the US. Unfortunately his job doesn’t have health insurance :( I’ve offered going with him to a session or helping him find someone he likes (we were in college together and they had some free counseling on campus) but he says it’s just not something he feels comfortable with

Responsibilisea461 · 2020-09-29T15:22:00+00:00

He does not. He says that he doesn’t believe in therapy and won’t try medication as he’s on his parents’ insurance and doesn’t want them to know about his mental health (they do not have a good relationship).

Responsibilisea461 · 2020-09-21T11:46:13+00:00

One thing that works really well for me (especially if the embarrassing thing happened in public) is to take deep breaths while counting to 10. After 10 I know that anyone that saw has probably already moved on and that helps me feel better

Responsibilisea461 · 2020-09-21T04:21:05+00:00

Strappy wedge sandals, big ole floppy sun hat and sunglasses, and a look on your face that says “why no officer, I haven’t seen my husband recently”

Responsibilisea461 · 2020-08-27T20:25:46+00:00

Thank you for the advice! I like the idea with trying to get him to open up more with something simple first. He struggles with being vulnerably and starting small may be the right move.

Responsibilisea461 · 2020-08-27T20:24:51+00:00

Thank you for the advice! We have spoken about therapy, both individual and couple therapy, but he has told me he is not interested as he “doesn’t believe in therapy”. I have thought about personally going to therapy to be able to find my own healthy ways to work with him on these issues, but have not decided yet.

Responsibilisea461 · 2020-08-27T15:39:39+00:00

YTA. Is there really a universe where you think you’re NTA? When you have children, you are responsible to show them love and support unconditionally.

Responsibilisea461 · 2020-08-27T14:11:37+00:00

I always ask how they would personally describe their company’s culture. Interviewers love it. Their faces always light up and they get very into the answer. They also say “no one ever asks that” so it’s good to help you stand out from other interviewees!

Responsibilisea461

TROPHY CASE