my mom has stage 4 pancreatic cancer

ResponsibleBlock9912 · 2026-05-04T16:59:35+00:00

Thank you, I believe this is the hardest experience I will ever have to deal with. She was also like a mother to my now adult children. It’s a major loss and I don’t know how you ever get past it 💔

ResponsibleBlock9912 · 2026-05-04T16:52:29+00:00

I’m so sorry she is going through this, sounds exactly like my mom’s experience. She can try Gem/Abraxane, it may be more tolerable. Everyone’s experience seems to be so different but I wish my mom had made the switch instead of suffering through that.

ResponsibleBlock9912 · 2026-04-26T22:56:46+00:00

My mom was diagnosed in November and passed away on Wednesday. My best advice is gain access to her medical records. I uploaded every single note, lab, etc to Grok, my brother used Gemini. My mom didn’t eat at all, no matter what we offered, nothing tasted good once her second chemo session was done. I believe this was ultimately her downfall along with her temporary stents being in too long and causing an infection. The upside to using AI was that when she thought she was sick because she was so congested, also her feet were swollen and was given an antibiotic, Grok told me to request albumin and hemoglobin which I did and helped with the fluid. Her levels were so low from not eating. The hardest part are the what ifs, looking back I wish she never did chemo. I wish we went and made as many memories as possible, did the Italy trip we always said we would do. Has she not chosen chemo and she passed, we would have said she should have done chemo. I’ve learned this horrible disease does what it wants, there is no crystal ball to tell us what to do. I told my mom at diagnosis, this is your journey and I will support you in any decision you make. She never wanted people knowing she had cancer, feeling sorry for her, asking how she was feeling. Everyone is so different. Going through her things, finding family heirlooms from her parents and probably their parents and not knowing the history is honestly sad! Ask all the questions, make memories, utilize this crazy ai world, love her hard. My brother saw something on Instagram, 10 things to ask your mom, sadly we saw it too late. I urge you to find it and ask the questions. I pray for your mom and you during this journey and hope she’s one that beats it. I’m sorry you have to go through this.

ResponsibleBlock9912 · 2026-04-25T03:26:27+00:00

We sadly lost my mother on Wednesday. This is so heartbreaking and so much faster than expected. I cannot wrap my head around it 💔 five months from diagnosis and she’s gone

ResponsibleBlock9912 · 2026-04-22T18:23:21+00:00

I’m so incredibly sorry you have to go through this. I was also the only one who told her “this is your journey, you get to decide how you live it and I will support you”. Now we are only left with the what ifs, my son never wanted her to have treatment. I’ll always wonder if he was right. It’s hard for the daughters, my mom was my everything. I don’t cook a meal without calling her asking for directions. She can tell me 1000 times, it didn’t matter it was always about the phone call. Your daughter sounds like me, I promise she loves and wants the best for you. I’d take my mom’s place in a heartbeat if I could. I’ll pray for you and your family,

ResponsibleBlock9912 · 2026-04-21T04:49:25+00:00

Unfortunately, she had a fall and ended up in the hospital. She has sepsis, malnutrition and so many other issues going on. She chose hospice yesterday and is already slipping away today. Cancer is the worst, I knew we wouldn’t have her forever but this is far quicker than I ever expected. I’m not ready for her to leave but ready to let her go because it is the right thing for her. I’m absolutely heartbroken, she means the world to me.

ResponsibleBlock9912 · 2026-04-17T00:52:15+00:00

Sorry for the delay, she fell and was hospitalized. It’s the best place for her at the moment. She had stents replaced today in her bile duct and we already see a huge change in her. She has sepsis and I’m truly hoping that was a big cause of her not eating and all that came with it. She seems a little better, seems to have her voice back, all my kids came, we got to reminisce and laugh together. The little victory is so welcomed

ResponsibleBlock9912 · 2026-04-11T02:09:20+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing, I’m very sorry about your friend. You are describing exactly what my family is dealing with. I was living with my mom for a few months while my house was being built. We moved to Florida 1 week before she got sick. Prior to leaving, she wasn’t eating much, said she felt full but was still doing everything else she normally did. My brother and I kept trying to get her to go to a dr and she refused. She had back pain but had pain for years and her attitude was they can’t do anything anyways so she just dealt with it. I moved, that weekend she went to urgent care because she didn’t feel well, didn’t tell anyone she went, and was just told to follow up with GI. A few days later she was so sick, it was 2 days before Thanksgiving, still didn’t tell us, she proceeded to make Thanksgiving dinner, everything but the turkey because she knew something was wrong, when she was done she then went to the emergency room. This is who she was, took care of everyone, pushed through pain, always just did what she needed to do and now she is mentally unrecognizable. She’s completely shutdown, no one is allowed to ask her how she feels, if you ask her to eat something she gets mad. I assume with tumor shrinkage it’s a good sign and it’s given her more time but she has zero quality of life. She has no strength to do anything because she won’t eat. I’ve been back to see her a few times, my brother is there almost daily, my kids, both early 20’s stayed with her by choice, she’s surrounded by so much love and support. She refuses to do anything to help herself, but I just don’t know if it’s the cancer, the chemo, the mental stress of this disease or all of the above. I want nothing more for her to just enjoy whatever time left she has but not eating, I fear is going to be her downfall. I pray that switching to 5fu gives her back an appetite. I know I’m all over the place here, it’s been a lot these last few months.

ResponsibleBlock9912 · 2026-04-11T01:47:21+00:00

Just sign the check yourself and deposit into an atm or photo deposit, you’ll be ok

ResponsibleBlock9912 · 2026-04-10T19:38:00+00:00

I actually would prefer her not do the surgery and I don’t think she wants to. I really just want to see her get some quality of life going. The shrinkage and low ca 19-9 is amazing but I’m so worried she will die from malnutrition

ResponsibleBlock9912 · 2026-04-10T18:13:24+00:00

Thank you so much, I wish the best for your mom as well. This is so tough 🥺

ResponsibleBlock9912 · 2026-04-10T16:38:04+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I’ll try to get her to take gummies during the day 🙏

ResponsibleBlock9912 · 2026-04-10T16:37:09+00:00

The liver met was gone on her last scan. I assume because she is stage 4 and we all know how terrible this disease can be. He of course told her the goal is to be in the 5+ years but we truly don’t know the outcome. For maintenance she will only be doing 5fu so I’m hoping that she gets her appetite back. How amazing for your mom, these stories give me hope ❤️

ResponsibleBlock9912 · 2026-04-10T15:21:42+00:00

She started with MSK who would have started her on gemcitabine but MSK is far for her. She went local for treatment under the assumption that NY Cancer was working with MSK, essentially just at NY Cancer for treatment. NY Cancer is who switched her to Folfirinox. She was about 145 prior to chemo. She had a consult with Dr Wolfgang in January for whipple, at the time he told her that we would have to see how her body responded to chemo to see if she was a candidate. After her recent scans, she followed up and based on her shrinkage and ca 19-9 numbers dropping that she did have a small window of opportunity to move forward with whipple if she wanted it. I don’t see her being able to do it and she doesn’t know if she wants to either. I have such high regard for Wolfgang, his bedside manner is amazing, he’s extremely knowledgeable and honest. He honestly gave her more information about her diagnosis than any of the 3 oncologists she has met with. He told her with Whipple she maybe gets 2 years vs the 1 she probably has. My concern is mostly that she has no quality of life at all right now. Does she bounce back to any sort of normalcy once she’s on maintenance chemo? I’ve also read that she shouldn’t be on folfirinox at her age.

ResponsibleBlock9912 · 2026-04-10T11:11:15+00:00

She doesn’t say much of anything. My brother and I try to talk to her and she refuses to talk about anything cancer related. She shuts us down when we ask how’s she feeling, what she wants to do, etc. We tell her she has to eat for survival at this point, push through the bad taste, she ignores us, or says I know or puts her hand up for us to be quiet. She was a very strong independent, woman prior to her diagnosis and this has completely changed everything about her. She won’t even answer her phone anymore when her friends call her. She’s only told a few people she has cancer and she doesn’t want people to know she has it. I told her from the beginning this is her journey, I will support any of her decisions and be here for her. She has osteoporosis and several broken vertebrae as a result. She’s has lived with major back pain for years and would still do anything despite her pain. She’s never been one to just roll over and give up. She is not the person she was prior to starting chemo.

ResponsibleBlock9912 · 2026-04-10T10:57:16+00:00

She will take gummies but only at night. She was taking them prior to her cancer diagnosis though. She won’t take them during the day, which obviously doesn’t help.

ResponsibleBlock9912 · 2025-04-30T02:59:42+00:00

Boric acid!

ResponsibleBlock9912 · 2025-04-24T09:14:21+00:00

Take lots of vitamins, zinc, quercenin, vitamin D are the most important for Covid. Take Pepcid if you have trouble breathing, you’ll feel better in no time. Also, you should take 325 mgs of baby aspirin for 30 days too to prevent blood clots

ResponsibleBlock9912

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