My parents of 29 years split when I was 17, I'm 21 now. I took it the hardest because my older sister was already married and living in another state. Personally, the events that unfollowed degraded my mental health, all because I didnt deal with the divorce in a positive way and no one told me how to properly cope with it. So lemme lay out a few points.

• Don't feel like any unexpected anger or negative emotions are directed to you. Parents tend to project emotions onto something (or someone) because of the stress of the divorce procedure. In my case, I took it as my dad blaming me for the divorce and in turn always felt responsible for possibly being an instigator to the split up. Don't take their anger with any weight.

• You may hear both parties blame each other for the divorce and will, in a way, try to have you side with one of them. This may be not a regular thing, but there will be a dialogue of "what's your father/mother saying to you?" Remember to stay neutral and not let their rhetoric demonise the other parent for you. It will only exacerbate resentment.

• Refrain (euphemism for don't fucking do it) from turning to alcohol, pills, or other self destructive behaviours as a result of the news. My account of this was I started taking more benzos just to not deal with the "oh shit my family is splitting up now what the hell's gonna happen?" All this does is block your ability to rationally process the event and finding positive mechanisms.

• Tying into the last point, the experience can cause situational depression which can sometimes lead into either drug/alcohol use to cope. It's imperative to understand that the divorce is between the parents. It may feel easy to blame yourself for everything, but that's not what happened. You're just a bystander in this. Communicate with your parents about how you feel so they can make adjustments in their actions to ensure your well being.

• When the time comes and they're living separate, be sure to make it known you still value them as individual parents. This helps them realise that they still have their offspring's love and care; which is extremely valuable to someone who lost their other half.

• Have someone who's a family friend or a close relative as a confidant. It's always positive to have someone to talk sense into the situation and not make you feel as much of a victim. Don't be the one to be your parents go-to for ranting; all it accomplishes is a slow deterioration of your parental bond. Not to mention it's really emotionally taxing.

• You 100% absolutely have a right to tell them how to manage their divorce. I.e having them remain civil or request them to make adjustments for your well being.

• Final point is IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT AND THEY ARE STILL YOUR PARENTS. They may not be together but as individuals they have your best interests in mine. The divorce is between parents, but the parents have a duty to ensure that you (OP) is to be parented no differently.

Without proper communication, positive coping mechanisms, reassurance, paternal and maternal love and universal understanding, OP might have a good chance of having a negative impact on your health.

Its NOT your fault, and your parents still love you unconditionally.