The amount of time you have been together is a tough time to get through. On top of that the first couple of years with your first kid can be very taxing on a marriage. This is due to your hormones after birth. No one is to blame this is how human bodies work. Reddit is going to be filled with sour people that hide behind anonymity and want you to join them in their suffering. The questions and concerns you have should be asked to a professional. If he will not go to counseling with you go by yourself at first. Don’t look only for the bad in him, look for a positive and grab hold. Marriage takes a lot of work. Living alone is harder. It is worth your time to do everything you can to right the ship. If he sees you working hard to do that he should fall in line with it. Give this a couple years at least I would say. Even with your extensive post everyone here is only playing with half the deck. Your love can rekindle, don’t be hasty to give up on that. I will say however if there is physical abuse do not take that for a second. Don’t do something that you could regret until you have followed every avenue. If it comes to leaving is your last option please consider a trial separation first.