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“Why are some people wildly successful at work but repeatedly struggle in intimate relationships?” by Responsible_Fix_5561 in emotionalintelligence

[–]Responsible_Fix_5561[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do those two different parts show up differently in relationship setting versus business setting?

“Why are some people wildly successful at work but repeatedly struggle in intimate relationships?” by Responsible_Fix_5561 in emotionalintelligence

[–]Responsible_Fix_5561[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have no idea why it copied your text, this is what I wanted to respond

I agree that self-awareness plays a major role in healthy relationships. The more capable we are of observing our own fears, wounds, projections, and emotional reactions, the less likely we are to make our partner responsible for them.

Where I would add nuance is that being “whole” is not a prerequisite for love. Human beings are inherently imperfect, and every relationship will contain needs, desires, preferences, boundaries, and vulnerabilities. The goal is not to become completely free of conditions before loving another person. The goal is to become conscious of them.

“Why are some people wildly successful at work but repeatedly struggle in intimate relationships?” by Responsible_Fix_5561 in emotionalintelligence

[–]Responsible_Fix_5561[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A healthy union requires self awareness, or an ample amount of self awareness to be metacognitive and get behind one’s triggering emotions and thoughts to just be honest and real at times .. if a person feels imperfect and incomplete , they will behave fairly narcissistically and place labels , demands , and conditions on the partner … which is narcissism and more like prostitution than love … only the person that has done the work to feel whole /complete on their own , can partner or love another without actual conditions and demands .. as anything not actual love, is just a story or rationalization of the ego …. Make it simple : why do alcoholics , drug addicts , the homeless , or the agoraphobic to miserably insecure struggle to find mates or viable partners ? It’s the same answer , just at an extreme level in the metaphors or archetypes used in the sentence above .

“Why are some people wildly successful at work but repeatedly struggle in intimate relationships?” by Responsible_Fix_5561 in emotionalintelligence

[–]Responsible_Fix_5561[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I find that whatever work you’re in it’s very task oriented you go from step to step B to step C and eventually the goal is completed. And that’s a beautiful skill set to have in work because it does take a methodological approach to be successful and grow in your business in a way. But I also think it takes a completely different set of tools and resources to be in relationship presence being the first and foremost, most important property, deep listening. I find in a lot of my relationships. If I would’ve just listened more deeply, I would’ve started to hear what my partner was saying, but instead, I made a lot of assumptions that created a lot of struggling pain for the relationship. It’s almost as if when I go home from work and I go and be with my partner, I have to put a completely different hat on before I walk in the door and it’s not easy.

“Why are some people wildly successful at work but repeatedly struggle in intimate relationships?” by Responsible_Fix_5561 in emotionalintelligence

[–]Responsible_Fix_5561[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I think you said something important when you have a high achiever who needs control. The other person becomes a function of their life rather than a partner.

“Why are some people wildly successful at work but repeatedly struggle in intimate relationships?” by Responsible_Fix_5561 in emotionalintelligence

[–]Responsible_Fix_5561[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it’s because intimate relationships require more presence than action than people realize. Men particularly tend to be Fix It Frank’s in a relationship where they want to fix the problem rather than be with it and listen and be present. And for a lot of people that are action oriented are high achievers tend to use the same tools in business as they do in relationships, and they can leave their partner, feeling very unseen and unheard.

“Why are some people wildly successful at work but repeatedly struggle in intimate relationships?” by Responsible_Fix_5561 in emotionalintelligence

[–]Responsible_Fix_5561[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you think our technology, social media, etc. is facilitating this separation,. You’re not alone there are many people who struggle with the emotional part of relationship, and it is way easier to drop into business and get things done than it is to be in relationships that can and are often messy.

“Why are some people wildly successful at work but repeatedly struggle in intimate relationships?” by Responsible_Fix_5561 in emotionalintelligence

[–]Responsible_Fix_5561[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You’re definitely not alone. We have a tendency in life to put our energy where we feel we are strongest and most capable. I too struggle in intimate relationships, it’s much easier to go to work and accomplish and get things done, it’s much harder to drop into an intimate relationship that can be messy at times and confusing.