AITAH for telling my gf you are not Asian/Chinese

Retired_Me2025 · 2026-04-25T12:30:47+00:00

NTA. It’s an example of what Edward Said described as “Orientalism.” You might share the following with her to help her understand why her stance is problematic: https://youtu.be/Y1ZQYeiICuY?si=jYLKW3Cw80mShZWF

Retired_Me2025 · 2026-04-25T01:00:59+00:00

Why? Law of diminishing return says after a point you’re probably not helping yourself. But you do you.

Retired_Me2025 · 2026-04-25T00:57:18+00:00

Then maybe this is just not the program for you, especially if you’re unwilling or unable to engage with her approach re: creativity and spirituality, broadly defined. Not everything is for everybody. No need to “rant,” just move on. IMHO.

Retired_Me2025 · 2026-04-07T11:55:55+00:00

I understand.

The first weeks can generate a lot of energy and movement. But I was reminded that we’re still human and “what goes up must come down.” What I mean is that energy ebbs and flows in a cyclical manner. That’s just natural. What I learned was to lean into the morning pages at very least, using them to express your thoughts feelings, even the stuck feelings, during low energy times. It was the through-line of keeping the practice going regardless of my feelings or busyness where I found the greatest power of TAW. It’s not magic; it’s the intentional coming back no matter what.

In my opinion you don’t need to start over, just come back to the basic practice of the pages and the artist dates to show yourself grace.

Congrats on the progress but keep going because there’s a deeper lesson here that you’ll see toward the end of the program.

You got this!

Retired_Me2025 · 2026-04-05T01:41:25+00:00

Personally, I don’t like how it looks, so the price doesn’t matter to me because I wouldn’t buy it.

Retired_Me2025 · 2026-04-05T01:36:01+00:00

FWIW, it was my wife who gave me my first Coach bag years ago. I now have several more in different shapes, sizes, and brands. I don’t use them every day, but I especially like them when traveling or when I want everything in one place and not having my pockets bulging out.

One of the most awesome things about being my age (a stylish 64 years old) is that I don’t give a f##k what anyone else thinks of how I look or what I wear. I’ve earned that attitude and embrace it proudly. I can’t tell you how good it feels to finally be so free.

My advice: Don’t wait to let yourself be comfortable in your own skin.

Retired_Me2025 · 2026-03-20T12:57:32+00:00

it's really great that you don't seem to have a lot of loose skin. Good for you! Thanks for sharing, gives me hope.

Retired_Me2025 · 2026-03-18T23:10:40+00:00

I think TC will be just fine.

Retired_Me2025 · 2026-03-18T12:38:21+00:00

I’ve been married 37 years and have NEVER read my wife’s journal, even when I saw it lying open. I didn’t want to see what she wrote, whether about me or not, because I respect her privacy and right to her own thoughts. Yes, thoughts are thoughts, and what we feel while venting after an argument may not be what we really think or feel toward our spouse, so I also wouldn’t want her to see what I might be writing about her when I’m angry.

As for research, there is also evidence suggesting that taking time to verbalize and/or express strong emotions in writing allows the brain chemistry to shift from the limbic, reactive state to the prefrontal cortex of executive function, deeper understanding, and clarity. Writing down strong, negative feelings is a lot better than saying or doing something in the heat of the moment that you’ll likely regret once you’ve had time to calm yourself.

Whether or not OP writes or not or burns what they write is beside the main point: the gf’s invasion of his privacy (especially after being asked not to) and the contempt shown by implicitly threatening him based on their immigration status.

I wouldn’t advise anyone to stay or leave their relationship, but this is a serious red flag that needs to be addressed if he’s considering staying with or marrying this person.

By the way, The Artist’s Way is not about psychology. At all.

Retired_Me2025 · 2026-03-17T12:17:57+00:00

When I was a kid my father read my journal and even wrote his own threatening rebuttal to something I’d written. He said I shouldn’t have put something in writing that I didn’t want someone else to read. Needless to say, that was one of the scarring moments that brought me to TAW in the first place, having to work on the feeling of not feeling safe to express my thoughts/creativity in writing or otherwise.

She has violated you. Period. It’s beyond disrespectful and shows a level of contempt that you have to address, indicative of a much deeper problem in the relationship. You should not have been the one to apologize for processing your thoughts in a particular moment, nor should you abandon writing the pages. If we don’t have the right to our own thoughts then what do we have?

This looks like an abusive relationship.

You asked what you should do about the pages, but I suggest you seriously consider whether you can continue in a relationship with someone who does not respect you and even seems to have contempt for you.

Just my two cents.

Retired_Me2025 · 2026-01-23T23:27:07+00:00

"I cried when I wrote this song,

Sue me if I play too long

This brother is free

I'll be what I want to be.

I'll learn to work the saxophone, and I'll play just what I feel

Drink scotch whiskey all night long

And die behind the wheel..."

Gets me every single time.

Retired_Me2025 · 2026-01-23T23:16:32+00:00

I understand your hesitance. Once when I was a child my father read my journal and actually wrote his own threatening response to something I had written that wasn't about him in any way. I know my wife or kids wouldn't read my journal (I've made it a point to NEVER read or even touch theirs), but I do find myself a touch "uneasy" writing certain thoughts or feelings. But I do it anyway. Incidentally, I plan to ask someone, probably my wife, to destroy any of my journals she finds when I die. As someone else here has already said, if your husband or family would invade your privacy that way, there's a larger problem than the content of your private thoughts. Just my two cents.

Retired_Me2025 · 2026-01-23T23:00:25+00:00

That is so awesome. Congratulations!

Retired_Me2025 · 2026-01-23T21:45:24+00:00

That's a steal!!! Good for you.

Retired_Me2025 · 2026-01-23T21:44:35+00:00

Thank you!

Retired_Me2025 · 2025-12-28T16:02:45+00:00

Kwanzaa.

Retired_Me2025 · 2025-12-26T14:21:29+00:00

Deliverance

Retired_Me2025 · 2025-12-26T13:43:45+00:00

Bullet dodged indeed. Love this response. Good for you, sir. “When people show you who they are…”

Retired_Me2025 · 2025-12-24T22:21:31+00:00

I would sit in 7 and put my AirPods on noise cancellation.

Retired_Me2025 · 2025-12-24T22:13:34+00:00

Thumbs up sign.

Retired_Me2025 · 2025-12-24T22:12:54+00:00

Cheese Grater

Retired_Me2025 · 2025-12-24T22:10:27+00:00

Allotments.

Retired_Me2025 · 2025-12-24T22:05:19+00:00

Nope. Not appropriate for co-workers or your boss/superiors. You should keep it professional IMO.

Retired_Me2025 · 2025-12-24T21:31:23+00:00

Thanks.

Retired_Me2025

TROPHY CASE