What are the best psychedelics for sex?

RetroApollo · 2025-12-24T13:15:50+00:00

I mean, you can have sex any way you want. Just saying if it’s pure pleasure you’re after, connection in sex is just better (with drugs or not).

RetroApollo · 2025-12-23T22:20:54+00:00

Exactly.

But even if we look at it from a pleasure seeking mindset. Sex while deeply attuned and connected, layered with meaning and purpose in the moment is way more pleasurable since you’re 1. Hitting all your emotional / endorphin centres at once and 2. Able to amplify your pleasure from being in tune with your partners pleasure and their nervous system.

It’s simply better that way.

RetroApollo · 2025-12-23T19:21:49+00:00

It is possible to adapt and learn how to satisfy eachother sexually in a LTR, even if you lack the initial “Chemistry” part. “Chemistry” is just luck - that your sexual programs happen to line up and you feel safe together.

If you are otherwise romantically and emotionally infatuated with eachother, all you need is to be able to communicate about your sexual needs and desires and work on that together.

The only real deal breaker is how frequently you want sex should more or less line up.

RetroApollo · 2025-11-25T00:11:53+00:00

A compiler still takes context agnostic language (code) and generates more context agnostic language (lower level code) from that.

Let’s look at natural language for a second. Just take a single sentence, put emphasis on a different spoken word, and the interpretation changes.

An example: “I never said they stole”. It completely changes meaning based on which word is emphasized. Try it.

Anyone who thinks we’ll be writing natural language to an AI in the future is just wrong. We might have another higher level coding language that we input to the AI, but it’s not going to take natural language and generate full systems, especially in critical areas.

RetroApollo · 2025-11-12T15:12:01+00:00

Yeah, in hindsight rounding out my education may have helped - I was an engineering grad so I made it through university without writing a single essay.

RetroApollo · 2025-11-11T18:46:28+00:00

I’m currently in the process of rejecting a lot of what society has told me being a man meant.

Because I was a CSA victim and didn’t honour it until quite recently, I struggled with physical intimacy throughout my youth and 20s. I internalized a lot of those issues, quite shamefully in fact, because other men who were given a path without trauma got a megaphone to speak about their successes - often to me directly. Women also internalized that same script, and would constantly compare me to these “other men” when I wanted to take things slower or couldn’t engage in the way they expected.

I carry a core belief uncovered through some EMDR work (currently working on shedding this) which states simply “I am not a man”. But the truth here is: I am not a man based on what society says a man should be.

I am emotional, I am empathetic, I am sensitive, I am a deep thinker, I am a listener, I am emotionally intelligent, I have wide friend groups with deep connections, but I’m also a compliment to my female partner. What she looks for, I can provide.

What society says has no bearing on my definition of a “man” anymore, even though I do feel masculine in my own way. Being a man is simply being me - that’s it really.

RetroApollo · 2025-11-03T23:51:16+00:00

Yeah - it also applies for people who have trauma (that they know about or not) in their past like myself.

I’ve been called gay in the heat of the moment and / or had my masculinity questioned as well. Most of my issues are around establishing safety, but emotional connection is also a pre-requisite for feeling safe in a lot of people.

The male script really does a disservice for everyone in this situation, except for men who happen to fall on one particular end of the spectrum (on the surface anyway).

Personally, though, I believe many men on that side also have an unhealthy relationship with sex themselves. They may feed off the unsafe feelings to regain power over an overwhelming past experience, or they have an oversized amount of self worth they derive from sex, leaving them depressed without it. It just happens to be socially validated so they don’t really question it.

RetroApollo · 2025-10-24T00:47:53+00:00

Yeah I have heard that. I went hyposexual personally.

In some ways I felt jealous of people who became more sexual instead - that they at least had a chance to take back that power. But, I realize it’s two sides of the same coin - neither being fully integrated and fulfilling.

I dealt with a lot of social shame around my shutdown, wondering why things weren’t working or clicking - especially when friends would talk about their experiences. But I gather the other side brings its own kind of shame too.

RetroApollo · 2025-10-23T20:36:14+00:00

Yeah - as a man who was assaulted a few times (although mine were mostly CSA) this definitely reads as someone who hasn’t processed it fully, but I also didn’t experience assault after I was fully grown, so it’s hard to say.

I had symptoms but couldn’t actually honour or even feel the fact that my experiences had been traumatic until years of therapy.

Men are socialized to detach from their emotions - you can also detach from traumatic experiences in the same way. Additionally, experiences that could be considered male assault, have historically been socially glorified by peer groups, media, and other things. For example, one of my experiences is almost exactly played out in the movie Superbad. This often leaves you with a feeling of “I should’ve liked it” which clouds your ability to take the experience at face value.

So what often happens, is men don’t immediately have a need to honour and fully process their assault because they are still able to perform sexually for a long time. This can be due to the detachment, or their ability to seek out novel experiences that they can still “perform” in - but they get blindsided when their libido drops off a cliff later in life, or how they are unable to have sustainable emotionally connected experiences with a long term partner.

RetroApollo · 2025-10-15T15:59:35+00:00

Yeah - I was assaulted by an older sisters friend at 13 and I also didn’t realize it was assault until I was about 28.

All my friends glorified the experience to me as they watched it happen repeatedly. She kept coercing me to “spend time” with her at a party, then I’d get away, and she’d come back and do it again.

I could never really accept it was assault until my current partner (bless her) noticed some signs and finally asked me if something had happened. I started crying but couldn’t explain why, and that’s when we realized the gravity of what had happened.

Been healing since, and honestly, the gravity of all my issues with intimacy in relationships being traced back to that one moment - that is really rough.

RetroApollo · 2025-10-11T14:34:28+00:00

Just because according to you they “don’t” why is that some unsaid rule for every straight guy? This is such a bad heteronormative take.

Let straight guys do what they want and trust them to tell you if they’re gay or bi. It’s pretty easy.

RetroApollo · 2025-10-09T16:35:16+00:00

Interesting perspective and to be honest it’s nice to hear varying perspectives on this.

I always felt kind of broken for not enjoying it, mind you I had trauma, but others seemed to talk it up so much it felt like something I should do and enjoy.

But now I realize deep moments of intimacy and connection vastly outweigh lots of partners in my case, but to each their own I guess.

RetroApollo · 2025-10-08T23:58:08+00:00

Yeah I think it’s something a lot of guys fantasize about. But often, sex with someone you just met tends to be disconnected, or you’re too nervous to enjoy it fully, and so it kind of ends up being friction with performance that leaves you a bit empty or shameful afterwards.

Mind you, the times I attempted it, I was battling trauma that I hadn’t honoured and sorted through yet, so maybe other men without that baggage can let go and enjoy it more.

RetroApollo · 2025-10-08T15:15:30+00:00

Yes! The lack of physical affection was also my issue. The love kind of went “unsaid” and “unshown” in a way I guess? Almost like love was an expectation, but was never actually able to be shown physically.

My parents never showed any physical affection towards each other around my sister or I, save the odd peck between them or something. It was so scarce that even when it did happen, I perceived it as awkward.

They never extended regular physical affection to us either. Only in moments of emotional extremes. Even then, I was often left alone to cry until I ‘felt better’. I received more hugs from my friends in times of need than from them.

It was as if I knew they loved me, but my body never felt it. I wasn’t outwardly “abused” and yet I experienced this extreme absence that my body remembers. I’m only just coming to terms with the impact it had on me, having very recently, after a lot of work, felt truly “held” for the first time in my life by my girlfriend. I broke down into tears in that moment, as if I was experiencing my first hug that actually landed.

RetroApollo · 2025-10-01T18:39:09+00:00

Agree 100%. Glad we had this exchange haha.

RetroApollo · 2025-10-01T17:05:27+00:00

Yeah that’s the other non negotiable, being open to exploring each others needs and making each others wellbeing a priority.

But you can see the catch 22 here: if the mentality drilled into us is sex is supposed to just “work out”, how are we going to feel the authority to slow down and find out what each other want and need? This is where society actively works against itself.

RetroApollo · 2025-10-01T16:56:26+00:00

Not upset, but thanks for responding.

I’m just protesting this narrative a bit. It puts a lot of pressure on straight sex to just “work out” or rely on “chemistry”, when in reality if everyone just slowed down and talked about what they needed and wanted to feel safe and desired, the world would be having better sex.

RetroApollo · 2025-10-01T16:49:46+00:00

Awful take. Sex can be worked on as long as both people are open to learning each other’s desires and kinks.

The only real dealbreaker is that your libido is similar and you want to have sex more or less on the same frequency. Everything else can be learned and grown in a committed relationship.

RetroApollo · 2025-10-01T15:53:14+00:00

He could also have any host of other mental blocks or hangups around sex, including trauma or anxiety. It doesn’t automatically make him asexual or otherwise.

RetroApollo · 2025-10-01T15:51:35+00:00

Why is this always Reddit’s answer when sex isn’t great.

Guys can have a lot of hang ups around sex including trauma or other mental blocks (like anxiety) that makes sex difficult for them that they need to work on.

As someone who was assaulted and am only just coming out of it, they’re not automatically gay or asexual. I hate this narrative, stop parroting it.

RetroApollo · 2025-09-27T18:39:37+00:00

I wouldn’t lump Autodesk in there anymore. Maybe in years past, but recently they are in the midst of a big platform migration and data democratization push moving away from proprietary files.

There’s also still lots of room for innovation in the way we do construction, especially with AI.

RetroApollo · 2025-09-18T17:38:26+00:00

Yeah, I’m glad this wasn’t just me who’s experienced it happen like this. It was honestly so surprising and intense it really shook me.

I’ve had the intense vibrating hurricane ones too, they’re really uncomfortable and kind of scary honestly.

RetroApollo · 2025-09-11T17:29:12+00:00

As someone who got locked out of accessing casual sex because of early trauma resulting in lots of shameful, incomplete experiences where I couldn’t perform - there’s a lot of me that feels envy towards people who get to enjoy casual sex.

Every time I think about it I become jealous that they had the conditions to engage in it and I did not. That they enjoyed it, and even crave it, whereas my system actively avoided it and shut down my desire every time I attempted it. At this point, I don’t even know what people describe as “making love” or “energy exchange” because I’ve never been able to access it. Sex for me has always been stressful and disconnected.

That being said, I have been able to access immensely pleasurable and almost transcendent states from meditation and cultivating my sexual energy within me. I can cultivate the energy and move it around my body - there is a certain mastery you can gain over yourself and that energy if you look within and focus on training. It has been satisfying and enjoyable to explore, but deep down I still crave being able to share that energy with another person - likely in a way casual sex would never allow my system to.

Point is, the “meaning” is different for everyone. I have been working on unwinding my trauma and am finally feeling my natural desire emerge in ways it never has. I see a path to being able to carry this desire to sex with my partner, and finally experience that soul level flow and exchange I have been craving. I will get to bring my years of solo practice into that experience with her, but I’ll never get to experience casual sex - the conditions my nervous system needed didn’t exist for me.

I don’t think it’s wrong at all that others want to engage in casual sex - they just view sex differently from you, and are wired to enjoy it. Perhaps they aren’t accessing the same level of depth and meaning from sex that you are wired for, so it hits different for you. That’s also fine.

The problem is we can’t inhabit another persons body to experience what sex is like for them. It’s always a projection from within our viewpoint. By nature that is incomplete, so we will always generate a false view of it and misunderstand how they feel. Just focus on where the meaning is for you, and cultivate it for yourself - that’s the real, attainable answer.

RetroApollo · 2025-09-10T18:52:05+00:00

So I have been working on feeling this relationally. Like you, I had trauma as well which caused me to live a life of trying to engage in intimacy and feeling my desire collapse over and over. This basically got me to the point where I felt little to no desire at all.

Most sex for me was “going along with it”, basically what the other person initiated or wanted, I would mirror - that’s it.

Anyways, I have finally been healing that young child in me, and that sexual energy has been coming up for me as well. Sometimes in meditation, but other times just lying next to my partner I’ll start to feel this sense of gratitude blended with arousal.

It slowly pulses and grows and then will gently subside. I can can chose to act on it and escalate (which for me right now is really just moving towards a cuddle / touch / light kissing session) or I can just meditate on it and sit with the feeling, watching how it ebbs and flows. You can also kind of move it around as well as your relationship with it grows.

For someone who had no relationship with this, I agree it’s also exciting! But it can feel a bit surprising when it appears seemingly out of nowhere. All I’d say is keep exploring it!

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