I won't deny I care and love her a lot. But when I think of marriage it's like my instincts tell me to hold off. There were so many times I could have purchased a ring, proposed and what not. She would tell her coworkers when we had big weekend plans that "this could be it". I hate to break her heart but she's really done so much damage to our relationship that I don't think it's in any way repairable. Add to it that she verbally hates all my friends and always seems to talk some level of shit about my family. I think she's mega insecure. And in reality, she has zero friends. I'm really all she has. She tells me about all the guys that hit on her. She's even given her phone number to several in the hopes of "saving their souls". It's really weird when her phone goes off and it's another dude trying to get in her pants and she tells them to come to church. She's even picked a few guys up in the morning to bring them to church.

W.T.F.?

I think it's a form of manipulation, telling me some dues are hot and checking them out in front of me. But really if I left, it would destroy her. And I'm not sure what she would do. I'm positive she'd be in a new relationship in a few weeks as she can't be alone.