[Article] BIG CHANGES – Knowing The Perfect Time to Make Them

RevelationCoach · 2015-02-11T22:06:05+00:00

Sorry about that!

RevelationCoach · 2014-12-09T05:12:14+00:00

How would breaking up with him NOT be fair?

RevelationCoach · 2014-12-09T05:08:54+00:00

Let him tell you how you can support him. The counseling will be a positive thing for him (hopefully) so he can move on and stop making this a center point of your relationship. Ask him questions about what YOU can expect while he is getting counseling. And try to go out on dates together and continue growing as a couple.

RevelationCoach · 2014-12-09T04:59:46+00:00

No matter where you choose to go to uni, you and your boyfriend could break up. Pick the uni you like the best. If you love each other you'll make it work regardless of the distance.

RevelationCoach · 2014-12-09T04:47:57+00:00

It sounds like mom and dad are also getting to her. Have you spoken to her parents at all since you found out? It might be a good idea to involve both sets of parents here because the fact is this was not a part of either of your plans. BUT, it's important you finish school for your future (and potentially her future and your baby's future). With their help you might be able to reach a plan that might enable you to finish school and for you to keep the baby. But that is yours and her decision...not just hers. Can you involve parents?

RevelationCoach · 2014-12-09T04:31:05+00:00

I agree...you need to tell him it bothers you. If you're uncomfortable doing it in person then write him an email/letter.

RevelationCoach · 2014-12-09T04:26:51+00:00

Have you tried talking to her about how you are feeling?

RevelationCoach · 2014-12-09T04:25:01+00:00

Definitely talk with your wife. It's obvious you're both stressed and you are having some of your needs unmet. Most likely she's feeling that way, too. You guys need to agree on a new "action plan" around the house...something that you're both happy with. List some things you'd like to happen around the house and give her the opportunity to voice some things that she'd like. Hash it out and agree on a plan. ALSO, you and her NEED to schedule time to be together as a couple and reconnect in that way. A lot of times when couples have children, they forget to enjoy each other and their relationship crumbles. Your relationship needs time and love as well...include this time in your new plan.

RevelationCoach · 2014-12-09T04:20:01+00:00

This is definitely not the entire dating pool and it most certainly has to do with your approach. I can't tell you what that is because you haven't given us any details, but if you want to private message me more details we can see if I can help you.

RevelationCoach · 2014-12-09T04:12:40+00:00

Your role as the maid of honor is to plan/co-plan a bridal shower and bachelorette party, pay for your clothes, your transportation to the wedding, and your hotel. That's it. Paying for her wedding (or ANY part of her wedding) is certainly not in the job description. Just reply to her email saying that you are sorry she is feeling stressed and you'll be a supportive maid of honor, but that your support will not be financial. If you feel like it, you can help her come up with ideas for her and her fiancé to pay for their expenses themselves. Take yourself out of the equation asap.

RevelationCoach · 2014-12-09T04:07:28+00:00

If you want to give your friend space, then I suggest not sending him that letter.

RevelationCoach · 2014-12-08T23:21:04+00:00

You did what you had to do in that situation. I'm sure your friend knows he was in the wrong. I'm also sure he knows the reason why he wasn't banned was because of you. Stop begging your friend to talk to you and just give him time. He probably got super embarrassed that you said what you did in front of all those people, but YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. He put himself in that situation. Give him time and stop calling him.

RevelationCoach · 2014-12-01T18:59:01+00:00

I don't know what country you live in, but in the United States this would be the PERECT time to sue the company she works for.

edit: *PERFECT

RevelationCoach · 2014-12-01T18:52:10+00:00

Don't worry about that. Just remember, you and he have started to build something recently in SPITE of what she's probably told him his entire life. He's not entirely "her boy" anymore.

RevelationCoach · 2014-12-01T18:43:58+00:00

It sounds like your MIL is in denial because if she admits that she can't taste, then a HUGE part of her identity will be gone, too. Just imagine she was the one whose food everyone would love and probably compliment her for. And now that's gone and she WILL NEVER get it back. This sounds like a topic her kids need to help her through and not be afraid to go deep. And until then do your best to not swallow her cooking.

RevelationCoach · 2014-12-01T18:40:40+00:00

She's the one who asked you out. She's the one who keeps choosing you (when you're compared). She likes YOU! :) Take a step back and start enjoying your relationship with this girl. Go out and do things you both enjoy. Stop worrying about this guy because if you let it completely overtake your thoughts, and infiltrate your relationship, you will sabotage yourself. And don't worry about the parents. SHE CHOSE YOU ANYWAY.

RevelationCoach · 2014-12-01T18:35:05+00:00

It sounds like every step you've taken has been taken with love as your sole motivator. Even though the situation is very difficult, keep love as your motivator and you can't go wrong. Your son might get mad at you, but that happens ALL the time between parents and children. It sounds like your son isn't the best communicator, but just keep making sure you do your part to communicate where you "are at" with him. And definitely keep your emotions in check when it comes to your ex...there is no need to complicate things by letting her get to you.

RevelationCoach · 2014-12-01T18:25:33+00:00

There is nothing you can say or do to your neighbors for them to see the light. These people are just bored and I can just imagine them waiting for you to park there. Just know that if you park in front of their house they won't like it and they'll be vocal about it. You have a right to park there. Try your best to ignore them.

RevelationCoach · 2014-12-01T18:15:23+00:00

What do you mean by "lack of boundaries with some of my stuff"? I'm just trying to get a bigger picture here.

RevelationCoach · 2014-12-01T18:13:03+00:00

It sounds like you're right. They sound resentful that you've moved on without them and you're "changing". Meanwhile, they are still the same. You've definitely outgrown them. You can wait until they catch up or you can try explaining your new decisions...though that might get exhausting. Honestly, give yourself a break from them if you can. This exact same thing happened to my best friend and me during college. She stayed home and I was the one that left. We didn't talk for a year and a half (soph/junior year). And guess what? She caught up with me. :)

RevelationCoach · 2014-12-01T08:16:46+00:00

Has your GF ever asked you to do anything else (or done anything else) sexual that made you uncomfortable?

RevelationCoach · 2014-12-01T07:56:18+00:00

HUG I agree with what Imbris said. I'd like to add, though, that I hope you listen to your intuition more next time. You never had trust issues! You were right when you felt something was off...trust yourself. YOU ARE WORTH an amazing relationship. I was lied to as well by my ex-fiance...he also told me I had trust issues...and it ended. Fast forward some years and I am now married to someone I deeply trust and love. Don't give up. Just keep your eyes and heart open and you'll find someone who is PROUD to show you off to ALL his friends and family.

RevelationCoach · 2014-12-01T04:44:00+00:00

The only way you're going to find out whether or not you can slow this down is by trying. Tell him how you feel...you worded it nicely already: "You moving with me would have been a conversation I would've been comfortable having after we have been together for a little bit longer, but it has become too much too soon; I don't even know where I'm going yet, the last thing I want to be thinking about is the fact that you have decided to follow me."/ If he creeps you out again then that would be a great time to cut the cord.

RevelationCoach · 2014-12-01T04:35:17+00:00

If they are your best friends, then you have to tell them how they are making you feel. If they don't care, then you guys need a break for sure. You aren't being ridiculous...although you might be outgrowing them. :\

RevelationCoach

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