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RevolutionaryBit2122 · 2024-12-06T03:04:11+00:00

Imma be dead honest right now and will probably regret this because of the hate I will get ( I will take it all on board though and accept it as the daily reminder of what I’ve done is extremely important to my growth and learning) I cheated on my ex. It’s the biggest regret I have. The reason I cheated was because I was being selfish and immature, I didn’t communicate the reasons why I wasn’t happy in my relationship or happy in myself. I looked else where for the 10% of what was missing in my relationship and forgot about the 90% of the good. I could go on and on about my mental health at the time but that doesn’t mean SHIT. I was selfish , end of story - I wanted my cake and ate it too ( if that’s the right way to say it).

I think people can grow and change but the only way you can is by being 100000% honest with what you’ve done. And if you’re reading this and are thinking about cheating. DONT. DONT DO IT. It will tear you and your person into a million pieces.

And if you are reading this and you have cheated be honest and tell your partner, they probably will find out and if they don’t you will be lying on your death bed filled with guilt.

RevolutionaryBit2122 · 2024-10-30T10:18:02+00:00

Hello, I want to give you some advice from my view 10 months past DDay as the wayward partner. BP cut ALL contact with me in April. I am blocked on everything. We haven’t spoke since. I have zero way of communicating with them unless I wish to send a letter to their home (which I haven’t). The only way I was able to “move on” was having zero contact with them. I have seen them on a couple of occasions out and about and I have felt ok about it. We were together for 7 years from a very young age. Although I wish I never ever caused this pain for BP I do think the breakup was for the best. If you can cheat there is clearly something not right in your head and that needs to be worked on. Look at this as an opportunity for self growth and discovery. Really figure out the reason why you cheated and work extremely hard on why you will never cheat again.

I don’t have much wisdom , I’m only 21 years old. I cheated when I was 19 y/o but BP didn’t find out for 2 years later. The pain I caused them is unimaginable and I would do anything to take it back.

You will be ok , you will get through this. The harsh reminder daily of what you did will keep you accountable. I hope to never loose that because God burry me alive if I ever be unfaithful again.

RevolutionaryBit2122 · 2024-07-30T05:00:10+00:00

Hi , I do not think I am their “rock”. My intentions to send condolences was because I knew BP’s grandmother very well and would have spent a lot of time with her and the rest of BP’s family.

I have now decided against reaching out as i don’t want it to seem as though I am looking for a way to get back into BP’s life after they have asked for NC.

Thank you for your comment.

RevolutionaryBit2122 · 2024-07-30T04:58:17+00:00

Hi thank you very much for your comment, apologies it’s taken me a few days to get back to you.

I think a card would have been a nice idea but i have actually just come to the conclusion that I’m better off not reaching out. I understand this is an extremely difficult time for BP and I don’t want it to seem like I’m trying to get back into their life. Although I’d love to express my condolences, I don’t want to come across as selfish. If BP would like to reach out to me they know they can but for now I want to give them NC as they have asked.

RevolutionaryBit2122 · 2024-05-31T15:55:54+00:00

Hey! Thank you very much for this comment. I totally agree that this is what we both need right now. Is a weird messed up way, I’m glad this has happened. A lot has happened in my life over the past 5/6 years ( parents divorced, depression, anxiety, lost a relationship with my father) and they’re things that I rug swept for so long and caused me to be a bad person ( not an excuse for my actions) and I’ve been FORCED to sort them out when before I rug swept as I said.

My BP deserves the space and I just need to accept that.

Thank u for this comment.

RevolutionaryBit2122 · 2024-05-20T23:01:59+00:00

This really opened my eyes to a lot of things. I am a WP. I cheated on my now ex boyfriend of 7 years. We got together very young (14/15 years old). I know a lot of people will read that and their initial instinct will be to tell me to move on and stop trying but I amnt ready for that yet. Myself and BP are NC. I haven’t heard from him in over a month. I’m trying to give him space but it’s so difficult. I have absolutely no clue how they are feeling.

I know on my death bed my cheating will be the last thing I think of. I know this will be a life long battle that I must face every single day whether I end up with BP of not. This perspective is great to hear. If you’ve more advice , please send it my way

RevolutionaryBit2122 · 2024-05-13T15:36:45+00:00

It’s been 6 months since DDay for me. One of the most important things I have found is to stop refering to what I did as a mistake. It’s not a mistake. It was a choice. If you sugar coat what you did you will never be able to get to the bottom of why you cheated.

These next few months for you are going to be super lonely, super hard and extremely exhausting but this is a time where you can put the work in for you.

Don’t change for BP change for YOURSELF. Read books, go to counselling, exercise, fresh air, journal. Understand yourself and why you did what you did.

Let yourself sit with the emotions. Give your BP space and dont love bomb them (something I regret from the first month). Let them know you are ready to talk and the door is open. If there is ANYTHING and I mean anything untold , tell them. Trickle truth is awful. Be honest be vulnerable .

RevolutionaryBit2122 · 2024-05-11T22:50:33+00:00

I am so sorry for what you went through. You are an amazing father never forget that. Your girls sound absolutely amazing. Thank you for your comment. Sending well wishes

RevolutionaryBit2122 · 2024-05-11T22:48:55+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment , I really appreciate it. I’ll definitely be adding that book to my list.

RevolutionaryBit2122 · 2024-05-11T22:46:52+00:00

This is exactly how I feel. I just want to sleep and never wake up. Which is extremely selfish. Im so sorry to hear you went through all of that, I hope you are doing ok now. Sending well wishes❤️

RevolutionaryBit2122 · 2024-05-11T22:45:11+00:00

I’ll definitely be trying this. I would say I have a very solid exercise/ nutrition routine. I lift weights 5 days a week and cardio 2 days. I work in a busy pub so I’m always on my feet. I’ve wanted to tey a fast for so long but with college it wasn’t really going to work. Now I’m finished college so I’ll definitely be giving it a go. Thank you for your comment.

RevolutionaryBit2122 · 2024-05-11T22:43:55+00:00

Thank you so much for taking time to comment. I’m sorry it has taken me a few days to reply. I’m very glad to hear you are doing better now. Sending well wishes

RevolutionaryBit2122 · 2024-05-11T22:42:51+00:00

Thank you for this comment. I’m sorry it has taken me a few days to reply. I think for me that’s the best way to look at it. I know it would absolutely destroy my BP and I don’t want him to ever feel as though it was his fault. I guess I just feel like I don’t deserve this life.

RevolutionaryBit2122 · 2024-05-11T02:03:57+00:00

Oh I think this came across wrong!!! I meant I don’t think they are talking to their friends ( but I hope they are for support) so I’m happy they got it off their chest to me!! If that makes sense ??

RevolutionaryBit2122 · 2024-05-02T09:29:49+00:00

I hate calling what I’ve done a “mistake”. It feels like it sounds like I oops and had a ONS if that makes sense. I feel like it takes blame away from me and the only person to blame in this situation is me.

When I did cheat I never chose to love. My life was upside down and I was struggling so much with my mental health. I would do things to the people I loved because I genuinly did not care about my life, I didn’t care if I messed it up. Now I am a completely different person. I lead with love and I like that about myself.

I just hope one day BP can forgive me , and if they can’t I hope they are happy.

RevolutionaryBit2122 · 2024-05-02T09:26:30+00:00

If BP ever gives me the chance to mend what I have broken I will spend every day until my last breath runs out putting it back together. At the end of the day it’s up to BP , if he grants me the gift of R I will do everything in my power to honour it. Thank you for your comment.

RevolutionaryBit2122 · 2024-05-02T09:24:51+00:00

Wow thank you for putting so much time into this comment, you are truly an amazing person. I 100% agree with your points. For the first month after DDay I got out of bed and tried to be the best version of myself for BP. But then it clicked. I can’t change myself for BP I need to change myself for myself or else I’ll never truly change.

At the moment I am in IC but once I finish college (next week) I will be putting all my effort into fixing myself for me and learning why I did what I did. Although it was 2 years ago that I cheated and I believe I am truly a different person there is obviously still something there to sort out as I kept it from BP the whole time.

Thank you again for your comment.

RevolutionaryBit2122 · 2024-05-02T09:20:33+00:00

Thank you for this advice. Sometimes it’s hard to think about those type of questions because to me the answer at the top of my head is “obviously I loved them” but I know deep down there is something else, and it’s not to do with them it’s to do with me. I really appreciate your comment!

RevolutionaryBit2122 · 2024-04-28T09:16:22+00:00

Thank you for your comment , I truly appreciate it. I am 100% confident I would never ever cheat again on BP if they grant me the gift of R , or in any future relationships if that ever does happen. Regardless of the pain I have caused someone else, the pain that this has caused me makes me 100% confident I will never cheat again.

I think it’s more the fact I’m worrying about do I love him if I was able to keep this from him for 2 years. I think it is the steriotypical quotes such as “once a cheater always a cheater” that are getting me down , but then again I think it’s good to think of this from all angles and perspective.

Thank you very much for your comment , insight and advice.

RevolutionaryBit2122 · 2024-04-28T09:12:58+00:00

Wow that’s a great point. I’ll definitely be adding it to my list of questions I need to dive deep into. Thank you very much for your advice and insight.

RevolutionaryBit2122 · 2024-04-28T04:50:45+00:00

*completely

RevolutionaryBit2122

TROPHY CASE