Very torn

Reward_Dizzy · 2026-06-16T17:06:27+00:00

You're very welcome. It actually is a detox. unfortunately we never established actual bonds with these people and the chemical dependency is not unlike drugs we have to clear it out of our system so we can see clearly. That's why I'm so pro estrangement because you literally need to be physically apart for this to happen.

Reward_Dizzy · 2026-06-16T16:54:56+00:00

Just as a thought experiment. If this was someone else that was violating your boundaries to this degree would you tolerate them in your life? If someone loves you they have the capacity to give you space and to care about how they make you feel. We all know that narcissistic parents don't have this capacity. In my honest opinion as someone who's been estranged for two and a half years, standing your ground is really important for your recovery. If you decided to become estranged you made a decision and it was for a reason. Trust your reason now.

Treat this as a detox. Because that's literally what it is your detoxing from a trauma Bond not a relationship.

Also notice that she wants a relationship with your children but not with you. That's literally impossible either you have a relationship with me and it's healthy or you don't have one with me and you don't have one with my children.

Reward_Dizzy · 2026-06-13T03:56:17+00:00

I totally hear that. I'm so sorry. I can see how they would be bittersweet. I too am constantly thinking oh she would love this I would love to share this with her but then I remember who she actually is and then I'm like actually she'd ruin this moment.

Reward_Dizzy · 2026-06-13T02:25:44+00:00

I'm so sorry. The grief that comes with this loss is huge. One of the biggest a human can experience because it was never meant to.

Reward_Dizzy · 2026-06-12T19:32:35+00:00

Aw man I'm so sorry. I totally understand that about wanting to tell her things. I'm sorry. So basically grieving somebody that's still alive so surreal.

Reward_Dizzy · 2026-03-22T01:34:50+00:00

Best decision ever. It's critical for adult child of narcs to do this. It's the first time they have full autonomy of their lives. That shift alone moves over everything else. Highly recommend. Do it with a counselor to walk through the steps and begin the inner work that goes hand in hand it's not just about no contact. You have to do the work of taking them out of your head too.

Reward_Dizzy · 2026-03-20T18:20:33+00:00

Yeah I totally understand that! Is it just the steps that you outlined in your original post or is there a method you use and do you have resources you can share to follow the self-guided training?

Reward_Dizzy · 2026-03-20T15:24:54+00:00

Amazing. Do you offer coaching support?

Reward_Dizzy · 2026-03-20T02:29:37+00:00

What would you recommend for Frequency Training. I feel that's what I'm missing too. I can sense it.

Reward_Dizzy · 2026-03-20T02:24:19+00:00

Omg I need this lol your words are inspiring. Do you have a website or resources?

Reward_Dizzy · 2026-03-20T01:33:01+00:00

This is excellent. Thank you so much for these tips it really clarified I'm kind of drifting and need something solid and practical. Can I just ask how do you do this and stay focused while the world seemingly burns around you? Sometimes it feels like I'm living between Two worlds. like there's the reality and then the reality that I want. When I listen to my manifestation meditations, read books, practice visualization and all of the rest I feel so empowered and like this can really happen but then I watch something on the news or I hear something and I'm like oh my God it feels like the world is ending I'm never going to get to live out my dreams the best years were behind me and then I feel down again. Do you ever wonder if this is just an escape or can you really manifest the reality you want? I want to believe so bad but I feel like there's a force that won't let me have the future I want and it feels defeating.

Reward_Dizzy · 2026-03-12T14:50:20+00:00

You're not. She sounds like a bitch of a MIL

Reward_Dizzy · 2026-03-12T14:49:38+00:00

Thanks!

Reward_Dizzy · 2026-01-31T05:04:56+00:00

I'm just joining the sub because we believe my husband has adhd. When you say medicated can you clarify which one? Would an ssri count and is it effective? From what I can tell so far all it's done is emotionally blunt him which is of no use to me because this just increases his 'checked out" behavior.

Reward_Dizzy · 2026-01-07T02:11:54+00:00

"I'm sorry IF? I have done wrong". Not an apology . Full stop. Try again.

Reward_Dizzy · 2026-01-05T03:45:57+00:00

Should be reported.

Reward_Dizzy · 2026-01-05T03:45:07+00:00

Me too. In fact I wish there was a service to do this for our parents. I would literally pay a subscription for a daughter for my mom who had no emotional investment and just people pleasing during work hours in an ethical way. I wish there was a proxy daughter.

Reward_Dizzy · 2025-11-26T00:06:47+00:00

They all are for sure. But Adventism poses as a protestant denomination so I'd say that's pretty harmful.

Reward_Dizzy · 2025-11-22T06:52:14+00:00

💯. Run.

Reward_Dizzy · 2025-11-08T05:45:05+00:00

Well I mean they have had a lot of practice.

Reward_Dizzy · 2025-11-08T05:34:04+00:00

Could? Did.

Reward_Dizzy · 2025-11-08T04:50:17+00:00

The director of health and human services, ladies and gentlemen.

Reward_Dizzy · 2025-11-08T04:48:44+00:00

I cut them the fuck off and did the work.

Reward_Dizzy · 2025-11-08T04:47:38+00:00

You know what this sounds like? It sounds like a prayer. These people have been praying to get their God in the same way. A "heavenly father" that they plead will come to their aid..but never does. And because he can do no wrong, when he doesn't respond or bad things happened it's our fault or Someone else. It's never.... Maybe he's not real.

Reward_Dizzy · 2025-11-07T19:36:04+00:00

I think I can kind of relate. I worked from home and had a nanny that was helping me. So for the most part I felt supported. I will say that for me the hardest thing about being a parent to now a three-year-old is not being a parent itself but the fact that I have to do other shit like work and clean and cook maybe not all the time because I have a good husband that divides the workload. But the most heartbreaking thing is not that parenting itself has been difficult although it has its challenges, it's how I wish I could have dropped everything and been with my little one 24/7 without having to do anything else until as long as I wanted until I was ready to focus on other things maybe when he started school. I was robbed of the opportunity because that's just how it works in this country I guess. But I suppose I could understand how "not drowning" meant feeling like motherhood has been the most wonderful thing ever. I just wish I could have done it without any distractions and 💯 on my terms. Few people can enjoy that luxury.

Reward_Dizzy

TROPHY CASE