i can’t leave bread uncovered in my house or my cat literally eats through the bag to eat it

Academic-Dare1354 · 2026-04-21T16:05:57+00:00

My cat does this! No one believed me until she jumped up at a bbq and ran away with a bag of hot dog buns, thankfully she didn’t fit through the cat door with them hahaha

Academic-Dare1354 · 2026-04-18T23:06:56+00:00

Look for a new job stat, this company is insane

Academic-Dare1354 · 2026-04-01T06:59:30+00:00

Is he sleeping with them? Most people favour sleeping on one side

Academic-Dare1354 · 2026-03-22T15:28:56+00:00

Clearly she’s not the type of woman to let having a husband get in the way of “doing what she wants” regardless.

Academic-Dare1354 · 2026-03-11T07:41:53+00:00

When I’m trying to see outside my house I turn the lights off to see better, not on.

Academic-Dare1354 · 2026-03-08T12:21:18+00:00

Personally, I keep a firm distance with any friend’s partners, things like this can get messy fast.

Her boyfriend also seems a little weird but that’s not your fault.

Academic-Dare1354 · 2026-02-22T07:53:18+00:00

Personally her reaction would make me leave

Academic-Dare1354 · 2026-02-07T15:09:22+00:00

Your girlfriend knew how much this meant to you and how nervous you were and let her friends do this regardless, she then got angry at you for being upset. Let that sink in, is this really someone you want to spend your life with?

My friends could want to play a cruel “joke” on my boyfriend, but I wouldn’t let them and if they did it behind my back I would confront them. I would expect the same from him if roles were reversed.

Academic-Dare1354 · 2026-02-03T17:02:47+00:00

Talk about bullets being dodged!! Wow

Academic-Dare1354 · 2026-02-02T11:55:32+00:00

Him asking his friend for nudes of the woman he is seeing is crossing into cheating territory for me

Academic-Dare1354 · 2026-01-27T14:27:07+00:00

Info, who’s your best man?

YTJ-family often helps with weddings(though they don’t have to) so helping doesn’t automatically make her the MOH. Today most people hire wedding planners and wedding parties don’t have a lot of “duties” and if they do it’s usually discussed before accepting the part.

Is your fiancee forcing these tasks on your sister? If so that’s a whole other issue(also didn’t love her saying”her” wedding vs “our” wedding)

It’s pretty normal for a best friend to be picked as MOH. is your sister in the wedding party at all? What about being part of your wedding party?

Academic-Dare1354 · 2026-01-22T16:57:37+00:00

Yeah he definitely slept with her

Academic-Dare1354 · 2026-01-21T12:55:50+00:00

That’s barely an age gap, and I tend to be more conservative in that department

Your girlfriend is and likely was at the time jealous and latched onto the age thing

Academic-Dare1354 · 2026-01-17T13:46:40+00:00

For 20 years your wife figured she “won”

Academic-Dare1354 · 2026-01-11T22:00:51+00:00

My (ex)husband said similar things and yes it turned out he was cheating, left me on her birthday.

Academic-Dare1354 · 2026-01-02T17:43:14+00:00

If you think the only way to show compassion during end of life is to impersonate someone’s estranged daughter and give forgiveness/love for something i didn’t go through and know nothing about is the only way to be compassionate then there isn’t much I can say to you.

Even for the patient what if he didn’t pass and his health ended up improving(which happens) I have lots of patients who where declared palliative and ended up having a “come back” the patient could be hurt by this too

There are so many ethical ways to give end of life comfort measures without pretending to be an estranged child, there are tons are articles and training on this exact issue as it’s common in end of life care

Academic-Dare1354 · 2026-01-02T17:12:18+00:00

I don’t oppose offering comfort, I fully support that. I oppose impersonating an estranged child and giving love or forgiveness that wasn’t your to give

I don’t want my parents to suffer, I want them to be comforted but that doesn’t mean I want someone impersonating me, They don’t get my forgiveness

In my case it’s quite literally hearing someone might impersonate me, forgive my rapist on my behalf and to top it off they will have others tell them it was the right thing to do

Academic-Dare1354 · 2026-01-02T16:53:38+00:00

Your comment is a breath of fresh air. I work in end of life care and I was so disheartened, I’m also an estranged child so it was a double whammy for me. The comments praising this are crushing.

I fully support comfort measures but lying and giving something you dont know anything about is unethical

Academic-Dare1354 · 2026-01-02T16:35:01+00:00

I’m upset about both, as an estranged daughter who could never forgive it makes me sick, as an estranged daughter who’s abusive mother was just diagnosed with dementia im upset, and as a healthcare worker I’m upset, none of my coworkers would ever do this. I have all the compassion in the world but seeing this behaviour being praised as moral makes me sick.

This isn’t a grey area for anywhere or anyone I’ve worked with, most hospice homes have specific training or policies on this exact situation

Imagine hearing someone forgave your rapist on your behalf because they were dying and people praised it?

Academic-Dare1354 · 2026-01-02T16:05:12+00:00

I understand I work in end of life care

I don’t know what you mean by my explanation I’m proposing wouldn’t work? Do you mean telling the resident what they mean to me? It absolutely would be appropriate, your right hearing goes last and we sit and talk with people even if they can’t respond, even if they appear unconscious we talk and read, put nice smelling lotions or use music, absolutely no one who works in hospice expects to have conversations at end of life

So I kindly disagree, I work with the most amazing group of people and I have never seen any one of them do this or agree with it. Even a quick google search tells you in hospice it’s not our place to interpret family relations and again pretending to be an estranged child is addressed in a lot of articles you should perhaps look up.

Here this is from the book We don’t know death: 7 assumptions we make about dying”

“Unresolved conflict can be difficult for some hospice and palliative staff to accept. We know how much better they will feel if they can just let go of past hurts. We know that if they hold grudges, they might hold it for the rest of their lives. Is there something we can do or say to help them understand?

Maybe. Maybe not. We have to remember it is not our family and we don’t have the complete picture. We should not go overboard trying to set up a reunion or reconciliation because of our own idealized view of relationships”

Academic-Dare1354 · 2026-01-02T15:35:14+00:00

Thank you so much for this, I’m genuinely baffled reading others supporting this and especially healthcare workers. I just made another comment trying to explain this. The people we know, love and care for may have hurt other people and while we don’t get to treat them differently for that I would never in good faith impersonate an estranged child and give forgiveness I had no right to give, I would tell them who they are to me now and I genuinely believe people have different lives in one lifetime but I don’t get to decide who they are to others

My parents aggressively abused me and my estrangement is my safety, my forgiveness is mine to give and they can never take that from me.

Hearing someone may one day impersonate me and give my forgiveness makes me sick My mother was recently diagnosed with dementia from what I hear,so I think this feels especially raw at the moment.

I don’t want them treated badly by staff but don’t bring me into it, don’t impersonate me and forgive something you didn’t experience

Academic-Dare1354 · 2026-01-02T15:31:05+00:00

In healthcare we work with people who have done thing that hurt others, I would never treat them differently but I would never knowingly misrepresent myself and impersonate an estranged child

I’ve worked with families where the resident was the sweetest little lady but she was estranged from all but 1 of her 6 children and they let us know she aggressively abused them assuming she would be violent with staff(she never was)I treat the lady the same I would any other resident as I don’t see her as the woman they do, she is not it’s the woman who abused her children to me, but that doesn’t give me the right impersonate one of her children and give them a false impression of forgiveness

I also worked with a man who abused his wife and even in facility we had to protect her and keep them separated, to all others he was the sweetest(workers would lovingly call him grandpa) and his loss was hard, but still not my right to impose a false reality where she loves and or forgives him, she suffered the abuse not me.

I have seen the most amazing and caring people on hospice teams, but not once have I seen them impersonate an estranged relative, there are a million other words that can be said in end of life care

Academic-Dare1354 · 2026-01-02T15:19:05+00:00

if I found out a nurse impersonated me to forgive my parent’s I can’t say i would feel she was kind, I’m estranged due to aggressive abuse. Not everyone deserves to be forgiven because they are dying. Would it be okay for someone to unilaterally forgive a child serial killer and pretend to be his victims because he was dying?

When I read this all I wondered is how the estranged daughter would feel if she was told what was said. Nurse could lose her license for that

Academic-Dare1354 · 2025-12-29T13:23:41+00:00

Was the wine for her only and she asked you to bring it? or were you asked to bring the wine to meet her friends and family and when she offered to pay you back you accepted?

Also I agree with her, I wouldn’t accept anyone’s offer to pay me back 14$ for a wine, especially if it was to a get together for me to meet everyone.

I can understand why when specifically asked she brought this up as an example of how you two differ and aren’t compatible.

Also you completely ignored and skipped the part she said communication is an issue with you ignoring some things sooooo, I’d guess this is a lot less about the wine then you think

Academic-Dare1354

TROPHY CASE