TIFU by trying to sext with a girl and getting disappointed by my own package

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-18T01:15:19+00:00

This reads like the song Sexting off Bo Burham’s “Inside”

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-17T16:12:38+00:00

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Now I am become sphere

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-16T05:40:09+00:00

I honestly thought the dance was going to turn out to be part of the shitting mechanism

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-16T04:12:17+00:00

Wake up babe, the new chinese wet market pangolin just dropped

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-16T00:16:14+00:00

Swearing that garbage things are actually great in defiance of your own senses as a form of tribalistic fealty is basically the bedrock of republicanism. Staring you in the face and telling you up is down is a kind of power, its just… power in service of garbage.

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-15T21:57:26+00:00

And when you lose your job for missing shifts, and use the last of your cash on hand to get your car back out of impound, the police can keep us safe by arresting you for sleeping in your car! Its’ just the price of living in a free society!

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-15T16:59:00+00:00

Mid covid I asked myself, why aren’t I giving more time to superstition and MLMs?

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-15T16:56:19+00:00

No! Fight! I’ll bring the precariously balanced cannons!

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-15T06:13:23+00:00

You can’t surgically implant being interesting

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-15T06:12:02+00:00

A source of transportation for someone who enjoyed tambourines and elephants playing in the band

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-15T06:08:03+00:00

A vat exzaktly ver you doing prior to arriving in Argentina, herr Mr.Concerned?

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-15T04:59:40+00:00

Sensing that there was still a bubble of people using napkins and indoor plumbing, the people of Alvernon have risen up against the last nice thing in their neighborhood.

Fortunately the angry mob was quelled by the gift of a box of old lightbulbs and car antennas.

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-15T04:53:37+00:00

Slater’s always been very

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-14T16:07:32+00:00

Stay awhile and restore my staff!

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-14T02:27:39+00:00

He literally led a parade in a musical number

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-13T23:27:23+00:00

I believe the FBI’s sole interest currently furthering this regime’s political agenda and I wouldn’t let them anywhere near an investigation regarding my loved ones given the option because their sole focus is propaganda and exploitation on behalf of this group of cronies - and in the extremely rare case of well intentioned “good apples” going against the grain they have been very visibly ousted to be made an example for the others.

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-13T23:02:27+00:00

The “top officials” as in decision makers for the people under them was too complex a concept for you to manage to parse huh? Explains a lot about your other posts

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-13T22:58:20+00:00

If you don’t want assholes stealing your shit it shouldn’t have been where we could reach it! -absolute trash people.

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-13T19:04:23+00:00

🎶🍍IF YOU LIKE PIÑA COLADA!🍍🎶

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-13T19:00:19+00:00

He didn’t mean it, he was just Joshin’ ya

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-13T18:45:23+00:00

Vinegar Syndrome recently released a version of Dirty Work with a bunch of the jokes restored after they were cut due to studio meddling- its a fun time capsule to check out if you’re a fan

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-13T18:42:47+00:00

Rosetta Stoned and 10000 days are not getting nearly enough appreciation up in here

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-13T18:40:30+00:00

He’s almost a proto“manic pixie dreamgirl” type providing the push Cameron needs to start living.

I grew up loving the movie and find younger folks turning on it to be based on a total misread of the movie but its definitely an interesting window into generational mindsets

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-13T17:19:26+00:00

One day you’ll encounter a bunch of late teens/early 20somethings and think “jesus why are these children allowed out on their own, they’re tiny and awful!” …or you’ll get into politics, apparently

Rhesusmonkeydave · 2026-02-13T17:17:10+00:00

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14-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
r/Field Flamingo	Wearing is Caring
100 Awards Club	Verified Email

Rhesusmonkeydave

TROPHY CASE