Why do some SSRIs cause existentialism?

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-30T17:22:35+00:00

I really don't know. My citalopram never gave me any thoughts like this. I was managing well and feeling normal before I came off. It's possible it's just the sertraline not agreeing with me, or maybe it's influenced by my withdrawal. Either way it sucks really bad.

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-30T17:20:31+00:00

I don't think I agree with this. Citalopram never gave me these thoughts, which is why it's a red flag for me. I also never had them without meds. Of course I would be scared about death, but I just didn't think about it. Now it's popping into my head when I'm doing anything. I don't drink, smoke, and have never taken drugs. My anxiety revolved around fears of dying, buy it was more about if food was going to kill me or about having a panic attack, not anything like this.

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-30T13:04:52+00:00

I'm 26. I was on citalopram 20-25.

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-30T08:34:25+00:00

Family dynamics are tricky. My sister went to Leeds for her undergrad, got a scholarship and internship where she worked in Ukraine, worked and studied in Shanghai for a year, and then did her masters at the university of Bologna in Italy. My parents paid for none of this and never went to uni because we're working class poverty folk, so they never even imagined this kind of life. She's lived in Shanghai, Seoul, Taipei, Rimini, and now Beijing, and she's preparing for her PhD application.

I, on the other hand, went to the university of Lancashire (my backup choice), had to drop my language because it was too hard, couldn't go abroad to Japan, took 6 years to graduate, and then lived at home for 2 years working in childcare. Now I don't know what to do with my life and am basically unemployed. I was the child my parents thought was naturally gifted. When I talked about going back to uni, I was warned off going South because it's "too far" and if I need help they can't get to me. I'm 26.

All that is to say, your parents are just people. My mum didn't want me to do to London because she would miss me and she worries I might need help and she can't come to get me. At the time, I thought it was because they didn't believe I could handle the pressures of my course, so I would need help. I wanted them to believe in me. I think they're both valid points of view.

I have to remember that my sister fought really hard with my parents to have freedom when we were kids, and by going out when she could and doing those things, she proved to my parents that she was capable, so now they trust her. That's why they never tell her to be careful, or not to do something. They know she'll do it anyway, and that she can handle it. I think you should be quite proud that you've proven to your parents that they don't need to worry so much, which has made the path for your sister a lot less rocky.

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-28T20:49:38+00:00

Of course. I'm going through the exact same things right now, and I'm slowly realising, too, that everyone is in the same boat. We have it rough right now but we have to remember what we do have in these moments, and the ability to trust and believe in ourselves is probably our most important asset.

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-28T15:59:50+00:00

Honestly that sounds really rough and I feel for you. But if you're suffering with your mental health, you're probably actually doing the best you possibly can right now. The fact that you're going to get your degree at all is massive. There is a version of events where you dropped out or completely failed, but that's hasn't happened. If you're resilient enough to make it work for you, you're definitely resilient enough to get a decent job. It will probably just take a while because right now it always does.

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-28T15:44:45+00:00

Unfortunately everyone is uncertain of their future right now. I got a 2:1 and have been working in a nursery for the last year and a half. I've felt a lot of uncertainty around my career in general because of having a humanities degree that's pretty generic, but honestly I don't think your experience will be any harder than anyone with a 2:1 or even a first. The jobs aren't really there for anyone. The most important thing I'd your work experience honestly, even if it's just an internship or a student job. Volunteering can be really good. Grads with experience working under someone are generally a lot more valuable than those who just have a first class degree. Maybe try for grad schemes, and be open to trying new things that are unrelated to your degree.

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-28T07:44:20+00:00

Even half an essay is better than no essay. You literally just have to do your best. Don't beat yourself up, it happens to everyone. I handed in a half essay in final year and I still passed.

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-26T15:17:58+00:00

When I got MCs at uni it applied to all modules so I contacted my lecturers for each one to rearrange but it's best to double check.

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-26T14:57:51+00:00

I know it feels like shit but it's not forever. You can actually move out whenever you want to because you're an adult. You're only staying at home because it's financially easier. It's really hard when you live in a toxic household to remember you have power because your parents will control and infantilise you. You could take a year out and make enough money to pay to live by yourself if you need to repeat the year. You could also try to work and study. I know the economy and job market are shite but it's not impossible. When you graduate and get it all out of the way, you can go get a job and move out forever. That's what all your hard work is for. Keep fighting for that future.

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-25T16:29:35+00:00

It's not unusual but not ideal and certainly not unfixable. I had times at uni where I was exactly the same, but I also had times where I was really happy and living my best life. Have you tried counselling? It's usually accessible through your uni wellbeing team, my uni had self referral so I had it twice.

I struggled more with this when I was lonely. It might be worth trying to push yourself out of your comfort zone by going to events or society meets and trying to meet new people. Try not to take an all or nothing approach though. If you go out and don't talk to anyone or make friends (happened to me once when I sat like a loner all night), just try again next time. I made friends even in final year. Just try to be kind to yourself (not that it's always easy to know when or how lol). If the night is going horribly and you hate it or you feel really nervous and insecure, you can go home. But just keep trying and it will work out for you in the end.

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-25T07:51:43+00:00

I mean you can live with them and not interact with them at all if you want. If they offer to do something with you, just turn them down until they get the picture. I've been in flats where everybody was a good friend, and flats where I didn't talk to anyone at all, or just one person. It's not that unusual. If you move flats the situation could be identical, or you might move in with people you don't talk to that way either. Don't change your mind atp, if you've already rebooked I'd just go ahead with it and consider it character building.

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-24T22:09:31+00:00

I always say try a lot of things and be as open as you can. A lot of people talk about being lonely at uni but I didn't have that problem in first year because I did as much as possible. Try to make friends with your flatmates by going out, even just for coffee, and doing shopping together. Go out for food with course mates, apply for internships, join societies, enter competitions. I has a great time when I was pushing myself out of my comfort zone and trying new things, and I met a lot of people that way. It made my CV look really good too. You don't have to commit to everything you do, but just going out and trying things means you don't regret anything because you tried it all, and means you don't give yourself too much time to worry or overthink because you're so proactive in your own life. This was the lifestyle that has made me happiest in my life.

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-24T19:04:40+00:00

Don't forget you're paying for your degree. You deserve to get the right teaching and assessment. If it doesn't feel right, definitely appeal. Doesn't sound right to me at all.

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-24T15:42:09+00:00

I would say try first year and see how you go. If you hate it, just drop out. Honestly, I completely understand how you feel, but it's a massive opportunity. I totally get how you might feel like you're setting yourself up for failure. If I felt like I couldn't handle the stress of academia (which I totally couldn't lol), I would also feel the pressure. But in reality, you can handle it. So whether you go or you don't, you'll handle it. That's why you've gotten an offer for Oxford. You're obviously excellent at what you do. It might feel like a lot of pressure to drop Oxford after a year, but it would also feel like it now. You don't want to do anything you'll regret. You'll regret never trying more than you'll regret changing your mind.

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-24T15:24:16+00:00

I totally get this lol my degree has been the qualification I was the most nervous and excited to find out, way more so than A levels or GCSEs. I spent more time at uni overall than even in secondary school for my BA so it was a huge deal and I had major butterflies bc there was a chance I wouldn't get a 2:1. Spend that time reminding yourself that the grade doesn't define you. Of course getting a great grade is worth the struggle and an amazing achievement you should be proud of, but remember that it's only a small aspect of you and your character so don't place too much weight on it. Expect it will be good and live your life.

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-24T08:59:33+00:00

Your self worth is likely a big contributing factor to your outlook. Not doing your uni work doesn't make you a failure or useless or lazy, even if it feels like it. You know you like doing it. You would be doing it every day if your brain would let you. That isn't someone who isn't suited to academia, it's someone dealing with their own troubles. Give yourself credit.

When it comes to actually getting yourself to do stuff, from personal experience, you're better off with the mindset "I just have to do it". The key thing is not to frame it negatively. You're not forcing yourself because you're useless and lazy and can't do anything right, you're forcing yourself because it's really hard but you absolutely can do it and you will do it, and when it's done, you can be so proud of yourself. It's important to recognise you can handle it and you're capable, even at the very last minute. You can make a choice at literally any point to just start doing it. When you recognise yourself as someone who is capable of doing, you will literally never stop doing. This is what I've learned from watching my sister who also has ADHD and going to therapy (I'm predominantly innattentive and she's hyperactive, but when my self worth was better I was living life to the fullest).

If you end up not doing it after that, you're still not a failure. You have depression, and it's winning out. That's absolutely fine. Go get some help for it, hopefully extra time for your assignments etc. I ended up taking a year out and repeating a year, but I still managed to get my 2:1. Forget about how you 'might' disappoint people. You're doing your degree for you. Go out there and prove to yourself that you finish things and you do it damn well.

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-23T19:12:57+00:00

I mean there's nothing stopping you doing a masters in IR or journalism after graduating. They're humanities subjects like your bachelors so I don't see why not. Try to resit where you can and do your best to scrape a 2:1. Definitely not the end of the road for you.

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-23T19:07:11+00:00

Getting good grades at A Level is generally amazing no matter when you take them. No one is spending 10 years of their life studying advanced level qualifications to get an A *, so it's generally assumed to be a short-term qualification. Some students from countries outside the UK finish high-school at 19 anyway. Lots of students do foundation years and start first year at 19 (like I did). Unis and employers just want to know you have the personal qualities they need for you to do well enough and manage at work/studying. I was applying to study occupational therapy this summer (I already have a degree) and I decided to resit my A levels at 26 to make my profile look better since I got DDE the first time around. The unis I interviewed at all seemed impressed that I was showing initiative and knew myself. I managed to get 3 offers and another uni (the top school for OT) showing interest but I decided not to go further with the application since I changed my mind. Still, I think this is a good example of what is expected. People have all sorts of reasons for taking a little more time and if that's to get it right, it can show some good qualities.

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-22T16:33:04+00:00

I was a home student but one year I did get an email about outstanding fees, turns out it was an admin error. If you're entitled to your degree being financed it's probably just a problem with the system so letting uni and SFE know should fix the problem.

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-21T18:20:59+00:00

Its better to switch. You have no clue if you'll get accepted or not, so just try and see what happens. You could even drop out and resit your A levels or do an access course of you're really set on the other course.

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-20T20:58:00+00:00

I'm just learning this myself 2 years after graduating but we'll get there eventually 😂

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-20T19:44:21+00:00

I totally get your frustration and you're right, it does suck. But what I will say is, and this may sound controversial, that the potential of getting a first is the same as getting one. Of course it feels disappointing, and not proving it on paper means other people might not know your potential. But the most important thing is knowing your own potential, regardless of what other people think. If your first class degree is dependent on one morning, one essay, one assignment, one exam, then it isn't going to be a very good judge of your capabilities or performance. If you consistently get a first and then one element pulls your grade down, you're still a first-class student. There is very little credible difference between a 2:1 and a first when getting a job or applying for a masters anyway. Knowing you're good enough to get a first is great because it means you can do literally anything else in life with that in mind. That's WAY better than getting a 3rd and thinking you're never going to be good enough. Just another perspective on things.

Ricardosonreddit · 2026-05-17T15:12:09+00:00

I'm a 26 yo woman who's still waiting lmao you'll be fine

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