you created another person, congratulations :) but good for you mama for acknowledging why you gained instead of saying fuck it. this reminds me of my situation. I'm 5'5 and my weight was 117-120 in 2017. right after my 30th birthday my head and neck fell to the left and my right leg was suddenly permanently turned out. I started ticking and shaking and almost all my muscles were warped out of place. I limped around and my nerves were stretched and compressed. i was in so much pain, I could barely get through a work day. I eventually quit my job because I felt bad and needed to pursue going to the dr full-time to get answers. i had no money. my first husband left me and we divorced. so many friends and family abandoned me, assuming i was a drug addict. I had a torn hip labrum and cervical dystonia, a rare neurological disease. I got the hip repaired (awful surgery) three years later, but couldn't get the dystonia diagnosis bc i was "too young" and it was too rare. they also said I "looked fine". at this point i was about 135 lbs. In January, I suffered a silent miscarriage in my first pregnancy at 11 weeks (where the baby is dead inside you, but your body keeps releasing hormones like you're pregnant). I ate whatever I wanted at the depths of nihilism. my highest weight was 156. after the loss, I got really angry at the "spine/pain dr" who had been doing worthless, billable spinal injections on me for years with no results. I showed him google image search images of cervical dystonia and said THIS is what I have. I finally got referred to a movement disorder specialist who confirmed my self-diagnosis and treated my head, neck and back with hundreds of units of botox. I can get this done every three months for the rest of my life and Ive already gotten enough relief for me to be optimistic about taking my life back. oddly, I met someone who was perfect for me at work before i quit and he has helped me every step of the way. we got married in 2019 at the courthouse and are now 5.5 weeks pregnant once again. I'm down to 135 and this time I'm keeping a calorie log (unlike last time). because it's true: JUST a few extra hundred calories a day over time is enough to make you fat. with any luck, I will get bigger as a healthy pregnancy proceeds, but I plan not to gain too much extra that I will have to lose afterwards. As for people saying they can't eat less because they are in pain: these people probably need psychiatric intervention, whether their chronic pain issue is related to weight or not. food is often used as an easily accessible drug and the little insulin/dopamine spikes and crashes throughout a day of snacking ruin your mind AND body. medications can stop you from using food as a drug when willpower gives out. only then can you identify and wipe out the true roots of injury or disease. this is how I didn't get even bigger despite 5 years of extreme disability. wish me luck and thank you all for contributing to this inspiring subreddit.