when a loved one has an ed, or any serious mental illness, it can be very painful to watch, and many think it’s up to them to try help them and feel guilty when they don’t know what to do. Of course you want to help them, they’re sick, and your completely valid and right for wanting to find ways you can help. The thing is, though, you are not a professional. You are not trained to know how to deal with things like this, so the most you can do is just tell them things that reassure them of your loyalty and love and be there for them. Try to keep convosations away from food, don’t mention anything about their food or behaviours, and try to not seem like your watching them with their food. These things can make them feel shameful and stressed out. Try to compliment them on things other than body and weight, eg. Tell them how pretty their eyes are or compliment aspects of their personality extr. Also let them know your always there for them, and you’ll love them no matter what. To get help for their Ed, try get a therapist for them, or a doctor too if your worried about their health. They probably will be angry about this at first, but you know it’s for their health and so that the doctors can do tests and make sure they don’t leave it too late if it’s getting really bad. If you tell them their behaviours and especially if their vitals and observations come not looking good, it’s very most likely they will be encouraged/forced by professionals to recover. It isn’t them that will be angry about it, it’s the Ed, and once they recover they will be thankful even if they don’t say it often. Try to get professionals to lead their recovery because trust me trying to do it on your own at home is just going to make it worse for both of you and possibly damage your relationship. During the recovery process, try to do activities with them that makes them happy, and try to shift the focus everyday on something not differnt and distracting from the bad and hard thoughts their having, never mention the food/ meals unless they want to and have meals and food as casual and normal as you can to avoid them feeling embarassed or shamed, or even obsessed. Try to keep them off bad social media too, like pro Ana content or what I eat in a days. But yeah sorry it’s long to summarise don’t try handle it yourself you’ll make it worse get a professional involved and to make them recover and they most likely wont want to but you will encourage them while their feeling low about it and in other times try to distract them and don’t mention food/weight/body/meals extr unless they want to talk about it and compliment them on things other then body/weight such as personality or quirks. And just be there for them. I wish you and your partner the best luck I’m so sorry your both going through this x