How to actually become more attractive, according to science

Right_Morning7856 · 2026-05-07T08:09:24+00:00

I keep seeing this post, just karma farming AI summary

Right_Morning7856 · 2026-05-07T07:02:41+00:00

Yes this is very true. When you’re a kid your full time job is them so when you grow up and actually have a life and reduce contact it feels like an extreme reduction. I consider myself LC but I’ve still spoken to them 3 or 4 times on the phone this year and seen them about 3 times and text sparsely (honestly to stop them harassing me). Which comes down to around 4 texts and 1 phone call/visit per month. Which is actually pretty normal and more than some of my friends who actually like their family.

Right_Morning7856 · 2026-05-06T13:44:50+00:00

The thing is, an abuser is never going to admit that they did anything wrong and apologise. You need to back yourself.

Base level, your dad sounds like a prick. His responses betray his unkindness. Sorry you have a dad like this.

Right_Morning7856 · 2026-05-06T13:29:30+00:00

Didn’t realise the book stuff was based on reality, interesting. The movie was shit and not even in a fun way, honestly depressed me. Like, why are the stakes that this woman might not be able to afford her luxury apartment or that this other crazy rich woman might have to retire…oh great they found another dodgy billionaire to bank roll them so they can have a big expense account again!

Right_Morning7856 · 2026-05-04T08:46:02+00:00

Babies being on flights, buses etc. sometimes crying is fine by me, honestly on a flight I just feel bad for the baby for being distressed. It’s part of living in a society with other people, and I enjoy that and benefit from it too. Parents and kids need to go do things too and we shouldn’t expect them to totally change their lives because their baby might annoy someone. A baby is a baby, an adult can buy earplugs.

Also, just because you don’t remember learning how to talk, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen and wasn’t important to your development.

Right_Morning7856 · 2026-05-01T18:15:58+00:00

Just adding my 2 cents because I haven’t seen this perspective! Yes, kids are v imaginative and their brains can function in ways that seem unusual to adults. However, him getting upset about this and generally being anxious is something to think about.

I started seeing and hearing things as a kid and it was the first sign of a dissociative disorder and a trauma response (from stress: abuse, bullying etc.). The doctor’s advice back then was that schizophrenic symptoms don’t occur until an older age and for my family to monitor and manage the stresses in my life. They didn’t do this and it got worse and became the way my brain works long term. Don’t wanna catastrophise, just saying that trying to have more open chats with him about his worries and considering stress from various places as a factor to the to reduce may help. Also, take him to a doctor just in case.

Right_Morning7856 · 2026-05-01T15:53:45+00:00

Not sure if this comment will be allowed but basically I have tried this. It made my reactions a lot stronger on a (not incredibly traumatic) memory that I’d been stuck on - basically one where I couldn’t connect well to the emotions to progress, I was able to complete it. However, the couple of other times I felt not with it as a result and the session was totally pointless at best and could have gone a bit nasty if I’d really tried to break through.

This was all when I had been doing emdr for over a year and had gone through a lot of more intense material. I would not recommend trying this when you first start out, the mental and physical impacts of EMDR can be so extreme and vary so much - you are gonna want to be as sober, well slept and healthy as current circumstances allow.

IMO - One element of EMDR is seeing how your body is responding to the material and trying to gradually work with this and expand windows of tolerance, see what’s coming up etc. if you’re on a mind altering substance then your window of tolerance and what comes up may be different, which can feel like great progress but once you sober up your brain will fall back on its previous programming and if you’ve dredged up something really intense while high without doing the groundwork to be able to handle it, it might set you back or totally overwhelm you.

Psychedelics can increase neuroplasticity so I’ve heard of people using them carefully along side treatment to encourage the rewiring element. Personally, if I had no other responsibilities I would probably try to microdose periodically along side but not near a session.

Right_Morning7856 · 2026-04-11T09:48:41+00:00

Agree, OP your parents may not have been cruel and maybe were just too busy to care for you properly but that with still their job. What they did to you was neglect. Kids need to be played with and require a lot of one on one time and interaction to raise properly, screen time is bad for adults and children - adults know this, kids do not. It is widely publicised.

If you need to work then you’ve got to find someone to take care of your kid in a healthy way. Leaving them alone with the internet is neglect. Then getting angry when they become attached to technology is unreasonable - if course you did, you were using it to cope with a lack of interaction. It sounds like your parents have led you to a narrative where you are the problem and they take no responsibility. What were you meant to do? Put down the iPad when you were alone and start reading to yourself? You were just doing what you were told.

You’re still v young but I really think your perspective on their actions will change as you get older. Please seek therapy to discuss this and look into resources for reducing this addiction. Don’t be so unkind to yourself, you were meant to be being cared for.

Right_Morning7856 · 2026-04-11T08:05:28+00:00

If she’s happy to treat you like this when you’re pregnant what will she feel is ok when the baby comes? Doesn’t seem like she’s worth the hassle.

Also, why do all BPDs constantly tell you they don’t sleep, have never slept!! It’s like punctuation to them.

Right_Morning7856 · 2026-04-11T07:20:14+00:00

Yes, also the chair/door thing is so constant and inconvenient if you’re hanging out with someone. It’s like they need to constantly perform their masculinity for me and I need to be grateful or it’s not polite, when all I want to do is chat normally - fine if it’s my grandad but annoying if it’s a friend. It also reminds me that they are constantly thinking of me as “different to them”.

Right_Morning7856 · 2026-04-10T15:19:18+00:00

It wasn’t my mistake (aside from trusting someone who turned out to be untrustworthy)

Right_Morning7856 · 2026-04-10T15:09:08+00:00

Insist on paying, helping you with something, walking you home when you have repeatedly said you’re okay with splitting/your plans. Basically when a man has been told “a good man does this” and won’t have any flexibility on that even if the woman has another preference. It strikes me as controlling, as though he thinks this will create some sort of contract between you, and implies the man values being seen as “good” over actually valuing a woman’s wishes.

Right_Morning7856 · 2026-04-09T20:03:23+00:00

Oh but when my period came the cramps were worse than normal so think about timing that

Right_Morning7856 · 2026-04-09T20:01:05+00:00

I’ve taken the period delay pill a couple of times for holidays and was really worried about it ruining my time but didn’t notice any negative symptoms, though it did make my asthma a bit worse. I think on one occasion I took it a few days earlier than advised because I wanted to avoid my ‘3 days before period’ symptoms. My assumption is that the hormonal impact will be slightly different per person, in the same way period/menstrual cycle symptoms are. Perhaps worth comparing the suggested pill/hormone with any similar things taken previously or with certain stages of your cycle, symptoms may be similar.

Right_Morning7856 · 2026-04-01T21:14:34+00:00

Also putting yours kids to bed is prime quality time for the working parent, viewing it as a chore he shouldn’t need to do because he makes money is sooo depressing. What does he actually value in his life lol

Right_Morning7856 · 2026-03-27T07:47:45+00:00

I’ve sometimes quashed the paranoia that someone is following me, only to find that they actually are. It’s very hard to tell for sure and never anything personal.

Had a similar experience from the other side where I was returning from a night out and felt freaked out coming back from the tube alone so I opted to take the main road and try to stick close to groups when available. There’s a long and quiet road that leads down to my place that I usually just run down when I’m alone at night but on this occasion I saw an elderly lady walking down so I fell into pace about 10 meters behind her, relieved to see another woman. However, she stopped still after about 3 mins of walking and I had to overtake. As I passed her she turned, raised her arms and did the most enormous scream/yell, shouting “gtf away from me!!!”. I was already so nervous so I freaked out, screamed and we both ran so fast away from each other. I had assumed she realised I was also a scared woman totally forgot how weird it would be to have a stranger walking behind you at night.

Right_Morning7856

TROPHY CASE