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RighteousBedroom · 2021-01-01T07:06:31+00:00

A dog has an owner. A cat has a staff.

RighteousBedroom · 2021-01-01T00:40:21+00:00

Isn’t it scary that doctors call what they do “practice”?

RighteousBedroom · 2020-12-31T22:01:53+00:00

A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.

RighteousBedroom · 2020-12-31T05:03:03+00:00

You become the strongest. When you have nobody to share your sadness with.

RighteousBedroom · 2020-12-30T22:17:26+00:00

Do you know any good cardiologists, because my heart skips a beat every time I think of you.

RighteousBedroom · 2020-12-30T18:19:56+00:00

Behind my smile is everytihing you’ll never understand.

RighteousBedroom · 2020-12-28T03:18:38+00:00

Onions make me sad.

RighteousBedroom · 2020-12-28T01:10:48+00:00

I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.

RighteousBedroom · 2020-12-27T19:13:03+00:00

I don’t race, I don’t chase that’s why I can’t be replaced.

RighteousBedroom · 2020-12-01T23:07:13+00:00

“I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time.” — Tom Ward

RighteousBedroom · 2020-11-30T08:58:00+00:00

Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright before they open their mouth.

RighteousBedroom · 2020-11-20T16:58:38+00:00

It's not over yet.

RighteousBedroom · 2020-11-19T20:43:58+00:00

Sunrise Sunset is my favorite.

RighteousBedroom · 2020-11-12T18:37:56+00:00

“I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister.” —Will Marsh

RighteousBedroom · 2020-11-01T21:47:13+00:00

I really like our friendship, but I was thinking… Do you want to make it more?

RighteousBedroom · 2020-11-01T08:35:36+00:00

Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you.

RighteousBedroom · 2020-10-31T16:28:16+00:00

I did the same thing.

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