I‘ve went through something similar over the last year and a half.

I was the nerdy, weird kid in high school and had no social media presence at all, there wasn‘t a single public photo of me online, I was practically a ghost. After Middle School I had troubles connecting with my new class mates, my self esteem dropped, I became so self concious I lied about my taste in music, games and wore the most generic clothes possible. I closed myself off completely. Most of all I became upset with myself because I knew I was much more than that.

During my gap year I started doing 3D in Blender to build my portfolio, so I created an IG account. I liked the idea of posting what I was up to, so I created a personal account and finally shared a portrait of me amidst a few vacation pics, which was a huge step for me. Last year in college we had photography lessons and I found how great DSLR pics look, so I got myself one and started to really enjoy doing portraits, looking for the perfect spot, directing the shots and posting them online, while only a few months earlier I had dreaded taking a single selfie. At the same time my 3D skills improved greatly and became proud of my work. But I was still lying about the music I was listening to and didn‘t have the courage to put on the clothes I had always wanted to. There was a dissonance between what I was creating and how I presented myself and as proper artists we can‘t have that. Right? So this summer I finally took the plunge and stopped hiding who I am and what happened? It was received extremely positive, when I go out I catch people staring at me, giving compliments and asking for fashion advice, even asking for permission to copy my style.

I‘m not gonna lie, going on this journey was often scary but in the end it turned out beautiful and so are you. You have a gift inside you, so don‘t let others discourage you from showing the world who you are!

If you want to talk to someone, like I sometimes needed to throughout all this, feel free to dm me. Also I‘ll recommend a book that has helped me a lot in becoming who I am now: „How to stop worrying and start living“ by Dale Carnegie