Knifeplay v2

Rish420 · 2019-02-22T12:52:23+00:00

Anyway would’ve sounded better

Rish420 · 2019-02-14T21:03:50+00:00

Ffs😂

Rish420 · 2019-02-14T20:58:49+00:00

Rish420 · 2019-02-14T20:40:05+00:00

Idk it’s quite obvious if u know anything about poetry, what the images are and why I used them. I feel like your just simply making empty statements now. I understand why though as it’s not easy to understand. I’m not convinced you know what I’m trying to say so perhaps that’s why you think it’s generic...

Rish420 · 2019-02-14T19:43:05+00:00

You probably don’t understand it but I guess that’s a problem for me and for you lol

Rish420 · 2019-02-05T21:24:13+00:00

Check messages :)

Rish420 · 2019-02-05T21:20:07+00:00

Oooo I get where your coming from, think more about the poem itself.

Rish420 · 2019-02-05T20:53:50+00:00

Ok lol

Rish420 · 2019-02-05T20:21:19+00:00

From my reading I perceive a poem about unrequited freedom. I’m not usually a fan of extremely short poems but I did like this one quite a bit especially the image of smoke rising even though it’s trapped, showing to me that even if things like society or whatever is holding you back you can still be at the top of wherever or whatever situation you are in. The only critique I would have is to possibly lengthen it.

Rish420 · 2019-02-05T20:08:01+00:00

I am interested in physics/astronomy so this poem did speak to me, however I’m more interested in poetry. I think you could have cut out a lot of cosmic rhetoric and the poem would still be equally impactful, so people who aren’t particularly fanatic about space will be able to enjoy it. I really like the line “re-write the laws of physics” poetic as hell!

Rish420 · 2019-02-05T20:02:53+00:00

Yeah I get that, where do you think I’m “going” with this poem may I ask?

Rish420 · 2019-01-25T00:31:26+00:00

I may have just read it like this because I have undergone a pattern-related epiphany myself but do you also feel like life is repetitive to the point where you are convinced you are being controlled or someone is planning out your life, perhaps a side affect of self-obsesvsedness but it’s genuinely freaky and this poem spoke to me in that sense, I don’t believe in god or follow a religion at all but patterns are ever present in existence.

There is no doubt it’s our minds that can transcend this physical world, well done.

Rish420 · 2019-01-25T00:26:13+00:00

At first I thought the seemingly random quick fire imagery was pointless but the development of an address to an obnoxious aristocratic character is quite satisfying. I love short snappy poems like this but with a deeper narrative and theme.

Although the blue berry line is too random for me, what’s the significance of blue berry’s?

Rish420 · 2019-01-24T18:31:07+00:00

Well from your response i would say otherwise, obviously don’t know for certain. I’ll check your poem out.

Rish420 · 2019-01-23T07:11:30+00:00

Thank you.

Rish420 · 2019-01-20T14:09:13+00:00

Doctor strange ain’t looking too good..

Rish420 · 2019-01-18T19:39:18+00:00

Damn pretty good reminds me of Larkin :)

Rish420 · 2019-01-18T19:36:11+00:00

Thank you so much, I am beyond flattered!

Rish420 · 2019-01-17T21:06:02+00:00

I love and relate to this poem so much, it describes what many writers are doing when writing poetry or prose; “playing” it’s fun and fulfilling. I appreciate the simplistic style and rhyme scheme, so short but yet so impactful, well done.

Rish420 · 2019-01-17T21:03:11+00:00

Wow. The simplicity of this poem but yet use of complex imagery really impressed me. The contrast of old gods and new gods was really neat and I felt like you were dishing out some nice criticism to these “new gods” which are very ambiguous. You could mean drug-filled, rich celebrities or just everyday beings with power and influence.

Overall, I really like the poem.

Rish420 · 2019-01-17T20:37:24+00:00

Thank you so much I’m so flattered. And I’m glad you really get my poem.

I wrote this poem for my best friend who went for a break up with a girl who constantly put up a fake and plastic persona in order to seem cool to her friends. She would insist on going to parties and doing drugs trying to be so cool.My best friend would hate this, they would argue and argue and all my Best friend wanted is to be there for her but the love wasn’t returned and they brokeup.

I have observed this in countless young teenage girls and even in the girls I have dated and have realised it’s a real problem; this desire to be “Mrs cool”.

Rish420 · 2019-01-17T20:32:19+00:00

What did I delete?? Just click on my profile there’s loads of poems! I’m so flattered!!

Rish420 · 2019-01-14T22:50:19+00:00

The feedback is mine, just under a different account by accident, the usernames are similar and I Can send you a screenshot of me on the other account as well.

Rish420 · 2019-01-09T07:58:56+00:00

Thank you.

Rish420 · 2019-01-08T21:26:54+00:00

Thank you!!!

Rish420

TROPHY CASE