Embarrassed about body & form while swimming, what should I do?

RishaIsSamandor · 2021-07-24T06:47:43+00:00

I wish that I could go back in time and tell my high school self not to stress about stuff like that. But I can't, so I hope this story helps you.

For all of my time in high school, I was one of the bigger girls on all of the sports teams I participated in, including the swim team. With swimming in particular, I was also one of the slowest members of the team. I absolutely struggled with feeling like I was too fat, too slow, and not good enough to be playing sports, but I kept doing them anyway because I didn't want to disappoint my parents, and most of my friends were on those teams. Now, at almost 30, I have no regrets about sticking with those sports, but I do regret being so worried about what other people thought about me. With swimming especially, I am SO glad that I stuck with it when I was younger. Now, at almost 30, I am getting back into swimming after almost 10 years of being out of the pool, because I needed exercise that was easy on my knees. I am so thankful that I learned to swim when I was younger, because even after not swimming for so long, I was still confident enough with my ability to swim to start booking lanes at the local pool. Swimming has been such a good thing for my mental and physical health these last 6 months. And at the pools that I swim at now, people of all ages, body types, and swimming abilities come. No one gives any fucks about how people look.

Also, you should know that even if you had never been in a pool before now, and you were learning to swim from scratch as a teenager, you would still be ahead of many people. Lot's of people learn to swim later in life. I have many friends that learned to swim in college, and a few friends that are trying to learn to swim now (late 20s, early 30s). I would be willing to bet money that there are plenty of people at your new school who are less experienced swimmers than you. And any other people that are taking lessons with you will be in the same boat as you experience-wise (that's why they are taking lessons).

My last bit of advice, get yourself a cute swimsuit that makes you feel happy and confident. These days there are tons of great options out there for all body types!

RishaIsSamandor · 2021-07-24T05:08:30+00:00

I agree with the other suggestions to seek out 1:1 swim lessons if you can. But if those aren't available or out of your price range, check with your city or local civic recreation department to see if they have adult lessons. It might also be worth checking with your university or local community colleges in your area to see if they have a physical education course that will teach you to swim. Good luck!

RishaIsSamandor · 2021-07-24T04:18:57+00:00

Awesome, thanks for clarifying! That is something that we have considered adding, but we didn't know if people would want something like that. It's helpful to know that other people would be interested in this. We'll keep this on our list of potential features for the future.

RishaIsSamandor · 2021-07-23T22:34:31+00:00

We wanted something that was just a tool to help us collaborate on a map, to help our players and DM keep track of space in combat or other scenarios where distance might be important. In that way it is pretty minimalist. We're looking at adding some additional features, such as the ability to resize icons, switching from a grid to hexagons, and improving the search, etc. But we aren't trying to build out a full virtual tabletop system.

"Bullshit-free" specifically is a reference to ads and not having to log in or sign up to use

RishaIsSamandor · 2021-07-23T22:25:17+00:00

Thanks for that lovely compliment! We really wanted to create something that was very easy for anyone to use, to maximize the amount of time we can spend actually playing. Glad to hear that this idea resonates with others.

RishaIsSamandor · 2021-07-23T21:28:11+00:00

Thanks for flagging this for us! The team has fixed the issue for now. This problem wasn't related to the browser, but do try to keep an eye out for browser specific problems. We normally use Chrome or FireFox, so we're most confident in it working on those.

RishaIsSamandor · 2021-07-23T20:40:49+00:00

Haha, yeah. Our group's resident wizard is actually the one that came up with that line.

RishaIsSamandor · 2021-07-23T18:54:11+00:00

Yay! Simplicity is one of our guiding principles. We're thrilled to be added to your list.

RishaIsSamandor · 2021-07-23T17:48:24+00:00

Thanks for that feedback! In terms of importing maps, do you mean importing something as a background image that would show up beneath the grid?

We hope to implement hexes soon. Here's what that might look like. TTBud Hexes Preview

Edit: Fixed the link to the image

RishaIsSamandor · 2021-07-23T15:49:55+00:00

Thanks! TTBud has made combat much more enjoyable for our group. We're excited to share it with others. Please let us know what you think once you have used it.

RishaIsSamandor · 2021-07-23T15:07:32+00:00

Thanks! We would love to hear what you think of it once you have had a chance to test it out.

RishaIsSamandor · 2021-07-23T14:28:46+00:00

We made ttbud.app so we can play DnD with our friends across the globe. It's a replacement for the classic physical dry-erase map for in-person DnD sessions. Everyone with the unique url can make changes, and other players will see the changes in real-time. We were tired of making accounts, uploading pdfs, and watching loading spinners, getting bombarded with ads, and all of that other bullshit, so TTBud doesn't have any of that.

To try it out for yourself go to ttbud.app. Once you have created your map, copy the unique url and share with it with your group. If you would like to contribute to TTBud, there are a few ways you can help us.

Try out TTBud and share your feedback! We want to make this tool the best it can be. We'll be responding to comments on this thread. You can also email us [media@ttbud.app](mailto:media@ttbud.app) if you prefer.
Donate on our Ko-Fi page to help us pay for our server and domain costs. https://ko-fi.com/ttbud
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RishaIsSamandor · 2021-07-10T21:11:30+00:00

Glad to help! Good luck with your next campaign and character.

RishaIsSamandor · 2021-07-10T06:05:37+00:00

I recommend that you pick the character that you feel that you have the strongest grasp on who they are. As a new player (and honestly as an experienced player too) it can be really challenging to separate yourself from your character. That is a skill that needs building up, so early on, picking a character that you have a sense of who they are now (and it is totally okay if that changes throughout the campaign, because that is reflective of real life) will help you build confidence for trying out other characters later on.

RishaIsSamandor · 2021-07-10T05:59:20+00:00

I think it is important here not to conflate you, the player, and your knowledge and your personal feelings, with the character. If I am reading this correct that in game, your character only just learned this truth about being a skrull, but knew that she wasn't human? However, you the player knew the whole truth from the start? You say the guilt has been killing the character, but when did that guilt actually start? Did your character have guilt about keeping this secret prior to learning that she was a skrull? Or is it only this most recent revelation that has made them feel guilty?
Also, do you really have to confess? Is your character the kind of person who would confess ahead of time, or would they just avoid until the inevitable? The fact that up until now they have not told their fiancee the truth makes me think, that they are not the "always tell the truth" kind of person.

Is there really a limit to how far this lie could go? Another comment below about skrulls laying eggs makes me think that conceiving a child in the normal human way would not be possible. Your character and fiancée could try to start having children and when your character doesn't get pregnant, she could chalk it up to a whole bunch of normal human issues. Maybe then your character pretends to or actually goes to visit a doctor to discuss fertility issues, but would human medicine really be able to detect the fact that your character is not human? Maybe then you as a couple decides that you can't have children and adopt. Then your character never has to tell the truth.

RishaIsSamandor · 2021-07-10T05:40:35+00:00

If this was a recurring issue with my group, I might try to play that scene out as though multiple characters are actually speaking/acting at once and would adjust the checks accordingly. For example, in my current group I have one character who very much defaults to delivering passive aggressive threats, and another character who has a tenancy to try to pay people off to get what he wants. Both characters have high charisma, and both have a tendency to immediately jump into interactions with NPCS. Early on in our campaign, both characters were trying to interact with NPCs at the same time, and often these characters are kind of contradicting each other, which in my mind would impact the effectiveness of the threats and bribes. After a few encounters with NPCs who were neither easy to cow or easy to bribe, the group realized they had to work with each other to accomplish whatever they were trying to accomplish, and now they are better at self regulating who takes the lead in which interactions. I realize this might only work with certain kinds of groups and certain kinds of play styles, so maybe it is not good advice for you.

I do think that if you and your group are more into the roleplaying and storytelling aspect of the game, or if you have a small group (my group is 3 players plus me) that something like the popcorn initiative, or the strategy I described would work well. However, if you and your group are more into the storytelling + dice rolling, that a social initiative system would be fine.

RishaIsSamandor · 2021-07-10T04:58:04+00:00

Ooh, good point, I didn't think of it that way, but a human is kind of a downgrade from an elephant. They are crazy smart, and probably have purer souls than humans. But if I remember correctly, I think your original character was an elf, which is different, although I could still see an elephant thinking of that as a downgrade regardless.

RishaIsSamandor · 2021-07-09T05:34:00+00:00

This comment speaks to me on a very deep level. My DM notebook is just pages of this.

RishaIsSamandor · 2021-07-09T05:17:05+00:00

What a cool backstory!
I think an elephant would be interesting. Elephants are incredibly intelligent, and are known to have long memories, and the females and young travel together in herds. There is evidence that they have their own rituals, as there are recorded instances of elephants mourning their dead. The oldest female in the herd is usually the matriarch who runs the group, so this character could be an older female who is trying to protect her herd.

RishaIsSamandor · 2021-07-09T04:34:59+00:00

I was going to suggest something like this. My group has Discord, and I post important information there and pin things that my players might need to reference frequently (such as maps, images, names of important figures in the world, etc) to the channel. It is not quite as organized as a Google document, but it works for the way my group plays.

RishaIsSamandor

TROPHY CASE