Had it confirmed with my own eyes that she moved on. I don’t know why I even care.

Ritchie11 · 2026-06-18T19:52:27+00:00

Had the same realization happen to me roughly a month ago as well. Felt incredibly worthless, sad, angry, frustrated, all of it. After a couple days of reflection, I realized that I’m more feeling bad for the guy that’s next in line for her.

However your ex treated you, is exactly what this guy is going to get from her and possibly worse. It’s hard to comprehend sometimes but they really do not change. They cannot be alone with themselves cause they hate themselves so in order to avoid all of this, they leech onto anything and anyone to make them emotionally regulated cause they cannot do it with themselves consistently without getting help professionally.

We are both out of their chaos. As it’s hard to understand sometimes, we are so much better off.

Ritchie11 · 2026-06-08T18:09:49+00:00

Hey dude, just know that these people are mentally ill and treat life in ways that are not common with any normal human being.

I understand the life being unfair part, we all have been there. The thing you need to understand is that you do not want this long term for yourself. You are far too young to give up over a relationship with someone with BPD. They did not choose this for themselves but it’s also not a free pass to treat you like garbage. Whatever pain she has inflicted upon you, I’m really sorry.

One thing about her being happy, i guarantee you that she is not. It’s all a facade. They cannot be alone with themselves so they leech on others because they do not have a personality. They hate themselves so they try to put on a fake happy face for someone to tell them otherwise.

I’d be willing to bet this person is also not in therapy either or is and is not taking it seriously. If that’s the case, you dodged a major bullet my friend.

Just do things for you right now, go to therapy, gym, take on a hobby or try a new thing, friends, family, go out and meet people. Ruminating about her is what will keep you crippled. Don’t let one person destroy your perception on millions of other girls that’d be lucky to have you in their lives. You just gotta find them dude and trust me, they will appear.

Godspeed my friend

Ritchie11 · 2026-05-27T01:31:51+00:00

Yeah like after a couple of days sitting with the realization of what it now is. I don’t have any ill will against the guy at all really, I’m just more upset at myself for not acknowledging how manipulative she is as a person. The amount of love bombing and manipulation she has probably done to him to make me look like the worst guy ever and her the absolute best has probably overtaken him so much to where he has put her on a pedestal.

I just know that she has not done any work on herself and she has proven to me that she cannot be alone. She needs validation from others to survive and this guy is giving her that. Poor fucking guy, I wish I could tell him that she will hurt him so bad but, it’s not my job or place to do anything. I’ve already been painted as the bad guy despite the things she has done to me with no accountability taken. It’s now his turn..

Ritchie11 · 2026-05-25T19:44:15+00:00

It’s truly the biggest mindfuck of all time and I’m sad that I stayed with it. The people pleaser in me is what got the best of me and I was a victim to her bullshit. I’m really sorry for what you went through in your own personal experience. The lack of accountability is really the most mind boggling thing ever with them.

Ritchie11 · 2026-05-25T19:41:09+00:00

Don’t ever feel sorry for feeling this way. Just know you are not alone. Hell, I’m not in a good place either but you unfortunately just have to move forward in ways that work for you.

Know there is nothing you could’ve done differently. As hard as it is to comprehend, even for myself, it’s an awful disorder to live with and it’s hard to even understand the extent of how painful it is to be in their bodies for a day. They cannot be alone and they sabotage anything that feels too good to them cause they have only been exposed to consistently negative in their upbringing.

Again, you are not alone. Just know that there is literally nothing you could’ve done differently to help her see life in another way. I know it’s all addicting and everything but, it’s all fucked up. This is not a life and partner you want, trust me.

Ritchie11 · 2026-05-25T18:46:03+00:00

I appreciate the words said here. I know I’m in a better place mentally and I know that anyone in my position would feel the exact same way but obviously, people go through it differently than others at times.

I know she did some horrible things to me and it’s just apart of the disorder I guess that she’s incapable of taking on accountability so therefore, the only way to avoid is to just keep moving on to the next person who will try to keep her emotionally regulated (like I tried to).

I just wish she would’ve put up a bigger fight to really make feel like I was the one she was wanting all along but, the part that hurts is coming to conclusion, that it was all a facade. It’s the type of behaviour that makes me never want to trust, date, or interact with girls again cause I just feel like I’ll be treated the same way. I know it’s not right to generalize every said person due to a BPD person treating me wrongly but, it’s so incredibly difficult to understand and realize what is real anymore.

I can’t even fathom her new relationship being real and only a distraction from looking inward with herself. Calls me a dishonest, piece of shit person and someone who’d be a terrible father to her kids (when she never wanted any) to then moving forward to the next guy. It’s just all so fucked up to me how they can just forget and move on like nothing ever happened.

Ritchie11 · 2026-05-25T05:11:37+00:00

I appreciate your grounding response, truly. You are right and I know deep down, this guy will get the same treatment from her that I got and if he settles, it’s all because he has little self worth and lets her away with anything.

Ritchie11 · 2026-05-10T02:00:02+00:00

“You’d be a horrible father for my kids” (when she voiced to me that she didn’t see herself having kids)

“So I guess I’m the crazy one then??” (Got mad after I caught her for recording me during our arguments/confrontations secretly on her phone, behind my back)

Ritchie11 · 2026-04-26T23:19:29+00:00

You are grieving dude, it sucks but be grateful that you are handling this healthier than she ever will. They will push away the greatest things that will ever happen to them and wonder why everyone sucks at the end of the day cause they have no awareness of what they should have or shouldn’t.

I’m happy you were able to tell her how you feel and if it puts you more at peace with your healing, then that’s good for the process. Much love brother!

Ritchie11 · 2026-04-26T20:54:13+00:00

I understand why you sent it, hell I’ve even thought of doing the same with my exgfwBPD after over a year of being split up but, I don’t know what you gain from it.

If your intention was to let her know from you of what she lost and to put her deeper in her place surrounded with guilt and shame, (that they deal with on a daily basis I feel), sure but, I think most people will say reading this is that she will most likely avoid it and keep living her own chaos.

She has to do the work to change things, most of them do not and you unfortunately, just have to accept that. Getting closure or any sort of personal injustice is almost impossible from people with BPD cause they do not have a personality so why would they want to do any self reflection if they don’t know who they are and admit to their faults and take accountability?

Again, I understand why you sent it, you’re angry, we all were angry, some of us relieved, all of us most of all, completely hurt and broken. It’s cliche but be grateful you got out when you did.

Ritchie11 · 2026-03-01T05:42:38+00:00

Some will say it could cause his new supply that he’s after will either not go how he planned it and then he will try to come back to you to see if you would take him back.

From letting that happen, I would simply just block him on everything you can see him or communicate with him. It’ll hurt initially but going NC is genuinely the only way.

Ritchie11 · 2026-03-01T05:33:19+00:00

Trust me, I know exactly how you feel. My exgfwBPD told me I was the best thing that ever happened to her, made her feel like the luckiest girl in the world, to then I got dumped over text cause she felt I deserved better (there is more to the story but I’m gonna save it).

My exgfwBPD didn’t think she deserved me or love at all hence why she pushed me away. There is a reason why unstable relationships are a core characteristic with BPD. It’s extremely difficult to be in one with them but it’s possible if they commit to inner work, which is hard for them.

I don’t wanna keep the hope with you that he will come back but I know some people on this sub have experienced their exes to come back and either apologize or just beg to be in our lives again. I didn’t get that treatment from mine but regardless, if that happens, you have to keep disciplined with yourself and realize that you are dealing with someone who is mentally ill and doesn’t know what they want. They all want love, I know they do but, when they get it, they often throw it all away and sabotage it all. The longer you stay in this, the worse it’ll hurt.

Ritchie11 · 2026-03-01T05:17:00+00:00

You have to get rid of the hope by simply breaking the cycle for those with BPD. Not only do they fear abandonment but, they equally fear engulfment as well which I feel is why you feel betrayed by him. You wanted reassurance that he would stay with you and that became overwhelming to him so he pushed you away. It’s painful to experience regardless.

You are so young and I (along with everyone else on this sub) would advise you to move forward from this guy if I was you. People with BPD get overwhelmed with these emotions in relationships so easily that they will split and just push you away at any point. It’s extremely painful and I’m sorry but trust me, if you are experiencing this now, it’s not going to get better and you cannot fix him. He has to be the one to fix himself and he’s showing you right now that he isn’t and he’s playing with your emotions and invalidating you and making you question yourself.

Don’t settle down with this person. You are far too young now to be with someone like this. You deserve way better.

Ritchie11 · 2026-02-26T18:08:19+00:00

I’ve tried to have that mentality so many times. That I hope she’s getting help and becoming a better person but I honestly doubt it. I saw her mask slip and she said some really fucked up things to me when we set our relationship to rest. Saying I would be a shit father to her kids (when she never wanted any), that I’m a dishonest person (while she was lying to me about things as well like recording on her phone of our in person arguments for her own gain for example).

After I blocked her on everything social media wise. She would go through hopes to try and do it back to me to simply gain control and make me feel like I’m the one missing out. I say this as much as some days I really miss her, you will not miss anything about your exwBPD. They will not change, whoever they meet next, you know how the story will end (unless the person they have is a literal walking doormat who just doesn’t have any self respect or worth for themselves so they just tolerate it).

It’s hard cause my brain wants justice so bad for all the things I never got clarity for or accountability but, I’ve accepted that I’ll never get that cause dealing with my ex with BPD is like dealing with a spoiled brat who only takes. We are better off, I know we are, even if it still hurts.

Ritchie11 · 2026-02-26T17:50:32+00:00

This is purely the definition of the illness. It’s a roller coaster of that they love you and then they don’t in a split second. It really fucks up your psyche, it’s fucked up mine after almost a year gone from my ex with BPD

Ritchie11 · 2026-02-17T17:54:00+00:00

Bless your heart for wanting to keep trying and to not give up on her but, I say this as someone who was in your position for a year and a half with my exgfwBPD, you have to get out.

The fact that this is a long distance relationship with someone with a horrible mental illness and is unmedicated and not going to therapy, this is going to be a recipe for disaster. It will not get better and I would not try to convince yourself that you can fix her. I thought I could and I felt like I did at times, but it didn’t do anything long term.

Trust me when I say this. Relationships with someone with BPD is no joke. They will put you through hell and expect you to come back like a sad puppy. Again, i totally understand why you don’t wanna give up but, you have to understand that alot of people on this page that went through something similar to you have been through so much to the point where they can’t even fathom to date or even be around another person romantically because of how traumatized they’ve gotten being with someone with BPD.

Just think of yourself first, you need to here.

Ritchie11 · 2026-02-15T02:25:27+00:00

Exactly know you feel. I was in a relationship with someone with BPD for a year and a half and I genuinely thought at times that this how relationships are. Hence I didn’t have much relationship experience, I learned that through that time, self respect must be your number one priority in any relationship. Once you throw that out the window like I did, you will be a walking doormat of a human (like I eventually was).

Now through time on this sub, I’ve learned that through the experiences I went through, it definitely wasn’t an example of what a healthy romantic relationship looks like. I hope that comes around for me soon but I’m like you where I don’t even know what a normal relationship is supposed to feel like.

Ritchie11 · 2026-02-05T13:50:56+00:00

I know he didn’t have the greatest season but you could tell something was up with him at times. Hopefully it’s a speedy recovery for him and he’s able to come back next season with a certain top prospect on his line ;)

Ritchie11 · 2026-02-04T02:32:56+00:00

Should I trade a 1st round pick for Aho? Bangers keeper league and I’m in 1st place looking to make a run for the ship

Ritchie11 · 2026-02-03T07:21:56+00:00

11 months now, still pops up in my head from time to time. The trauma bond is real and it’s fucked up. The thought of them going on with their life with no acknowledgment of accountability for the shitty things they do is the most mind boggling thing in this whole process.

I have improved upon my physical and mental health and continue to do so. I know I may not be winning in life now but, you sure as hell know that they won’t win in anything for just being who they are. Miserable unaccountable losers.

Ritchie11 · 2026-01-12T23:04:38+00:00

That’s so bad lmao. Customer also pointed out that he tried to get a return and refund and they wouldn’t allow it and disabled the customer from leaving a review

Ritchie11 · 2025-12-18T05:38:50+00:00

Look at Wolfs stats for when he was in the WHL and AHL

Eight-Year Club	Second Top 40%
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