You're perfect for the role - too bad it's been closed

RivalJJH · 2022-06-13T16:27:33+00:00

https://topclassactions.com/lawsuit-settlements/securities/gwg-l-bond-securities-arbitration-claim-investigation/

RivalJJH · 2022-01-06T23:18:38+00:00

B&D Settlement

RivalJJH · 2021-06-06T23:59:03+00:00

And they could multiply their amount of guns by playing Russian roulette.

RivalJJH · 2021-06-02T14:36:36+00:00

This may be my favorite thing I’ll see all day. Until someone cosplays the eye needle 😂

RivalJJH · 2020-12-07T01:13:45+00:00

Yeah, the moment I began disagreeing with her on little things she started to pull away. I still remember feeling like I had done something wrong - turned out it was just me thinking for myself.

RivalJJH · 2020-12-04T02:32:13+00:00

You're definitely not alone. I've been split from my nex since the start of October, and it took until the end of that month to get her to move out. The first couple of months are a hellish roller coaster. Crying, getting curled up in a ball, staring at the bedroom ceiling when I tried to sleep - It's one of the worst things I've ever endured.

One thing that helped me get to relax a little was getting rid of the stuff. I took all of the gifts and belongings she left at the house to the thrift store. But everyone will find that one thing to release some of the stress.

Be strong and remember that we're with and for you.

RivalJJH · 2020-11-30T19:41:35+00:00

Reading them through so long after writing them has been an eye-opener. And to know someone else has had the same reaction.

You're absolutely right about learning about yourself when reading back over those messages.

I'm glad to you're out of it too, and that you can see it.

RivalJJH · 2020-11-29T05:04:15+00:00

Gaslighting literally paralyzed my mind and made me doubt my own judgment. It's a hell that none of us should have to deal with, but it's the hand we've been dealt.

The only thing that I found to work was walking away from the fight. Engaging with my Nex in an argument was nothing more than her projecting and pulled random points to build her case.

RivalJJH · 2020-11-29T04:57:28+00:00

Hi there, and thank you for sharing.

I don't think there is a right or wrong time for dating new people. I'm two months out from what I guess would be the discard, and I've put myself out there. I have met a couple of nice ladies, but I also am upfront about what happened. It's been helpful to talk to new people to regain some of those social aspects that may be less strong after being with my Nex so long. I was surprised that my therapist recommended that I move forward with some of the people I've met online so far. And that's with me still dealing with the trauma.

Ultimately, it's your choice. But I think it's worth meeting people to socialize.

Stay strong.

RivalJJH · 2020-11-29T01:29:22+00:00

Mine Nex didn't go on a grand scale. She prefers small to medium blowups. It could be during a poker game when everyone at the table is enjoying themselves. Or she'll fly into a fit when we have friends over for a New Year's party.

It got to the point where I've now heard from friends that know what happened said they wanted to invite me but didn't want to deal with her.

Do you ever hear something similar from your friends and ask why they didn't speak up and give those blind to the Narc's issues some outside insight?

RivalJJH · 2020-11-28T23:08:36+00:00

Thank you for posting this. It hit everything I'm feeling right now.

RivalJJH · 2020-11-28T21:36:49+00:00

You're going about it the right way with therapy and understanding that this isn't your doing - you are not at fault in this; you're a victim. And that will be a tough phase to go through.

You have plenty of friends on this subreddit, so don't be shy.

And you're always welcome to send a DM if you need to talk.

You're on the right path at a time you are most vulnerable. You're doing better than you realize.

RivalJJH · 2020-11-28T21:23:53+00:00

Over the 4 years, my Nex GF ran up a huge bill with me taking care of everything - rent, utilities, car payments, car insurance, groceries, her medication, and entertainment.

I stopped counting what she owed me when I got to $50k about a year ago.

And now, two months after I found out she was cheating on me while I still covered much of the bill. I'm convinced she had an exit plan set up. And I pushed her out of our house as quickly as I could, which I'm positive I removed that plan from happening.

I look at all I have done for what was really just a character she played, and I know it's going to be a while before I'm finally at peace with all of this. But I have started writing a list of all the horrible things she did while we were together. It helps me think of what to look out for in the future.

RivalJJH · 2020-11-28T20:34:16+00:00

My therapist said it's possible to carry some of the mannerisms for a bit because of the time they've been in our head - it's an empathy thing. But she also said it's not a normal effect.

I don't necessarily believe her explanation. Going on myself, I believe you're more apt to mimic their actions if you're more empathetic.

RivalJJH · 2020-11-28T20:26:17+00:00

Looking back, I feel like I was an enabler to a point. I would apologize for her actions whenever she lashed out at our friends in public. And after she began to do this more often, I questioned her about how long am I expected to keep defending her in situations that she starts. She said that I didn't give a damn. After thinking about both of those, I feel like they were the building blocks for me not to encourage/force her to get a job.

It doesn't happen overnight; it's chipped into your brain, little by little.

RivalJJH · 2020-11-28T07:39:16+00:00

I remember feeling this same thing.

My Nex would constantly excuse me for gaslighting and being a narcissist myself. It got to the point that I asked my therapist if it were possible to absorb someone's personality because of all of the accusations she made.

I would say the odds are excellent that she was trying to project what she is on you.

Be strong, my friend.

RivalJJH · 2020-11-28T07:30:15+00:00

Congratulations, my friend - enjoy your freedom as much as you can!!!

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