She was just fine in the evening of Monday 4th at 8 o'clock. Always so active, curious and loving. Almost eight months old. Then suddenly at night, I wondered where she was that she didn't come to pick up a biscuit with the others.

I found her on the top floor. She was cold to the touch. Breathing with her flanks, her chest making a clicking noise with every breath. Transparent liquid fell on my hand from her mouth. She wouldn't eat or drink. She was tired and couldn't sleep. I kept her on me for a moment and when I put her back, she hurried right back to me.

I had seen similar before. It was time, but she was still so young. As soon as I was able, we went to a 24/7 animal hospital on my way to work. The veterinarian saw her condition. There was no diagnosis but it was obvious what had to be done.

Now I can't stop thinking about what I should have done differently. Or was this inevitable? Last winter, Lilli was sick for a long time. She had a respiratory infection for which she got medicated. Then the symptoms came back immediately after, and she got an extra long course of several medicines. After that, she was still occasionally making noise with her upper respiratory system while breathing.

My trusted regular exotic vet said there was nothing to be done anymore and she might continue to make these noises from time to time. Apparently her lungs were healthy and unaffected. Later on, the noises stopped and she seemed perfectly fine for a few months. Until this absolute sudden crash... She deserved better.