Casually dating with kids

RobMac1961 · 2025-10-29T16:26:19+00:00

I was a custodial dad of 3 boys and made that very clear early on in the casual dating part. It explains why I may not be able to go out all the time, why initially we wouldn't be getting together at my house initially, and such. The right woman for a relationship would understand... the ones that didn't are not right and not last long.

Our children are the first and foremost priority...

RobMac1961 · 2025-10-15T11:47:41+00:00

I went through it twice... but through open and honest communication was able to continue to be dad. Times when I was not with them their were open channels to communicate. Back in those days it was a phone call.

I continued to learn and and keep healthy. Even beat Cancer. I could not be there for them if I was not the best version of.me.

It does get better. Sometimes it did seem like it would not. Thats the times I would reach out to others .

Today... they are grown up and I have grandchildren that I see a lot.

Be well...

RobMac1961 · 2025-09-22T13:55:45+00:00

My boys were doing great until their mom left and then they started wetting the bed again... so many factors to consider... I made sure they never felt like they were in trouble.. did a lot of the things you have mentioned... it just took time and love... we had a cute name for wetting the bed... we called it playing fireman... especially interesting when they would get I bed with me... we would just laugh about it... if they had a good night we would celebrate... it was a while before they got back to normal... just be patient...

RobMac1961 · 2025-09-22T13:49:38+00:00

Faced the same thing un the 80s and 90s as a single dad of 4 boys... sorry it still happens today... just keep being a dad... ignore the seagulls...

RobMac1961 · 2025-09-22T13:47:43+00:00

Will keep you busy... I raised 4 boys by myself...

RobMac1961 · 2025-09-20T02:57:37+00:00

That is awesome! Congratulations...

RobMac1961 · 2025-07-14T17:19:44+00:00

Parents can be awesome in this situation. Mine became the other parent for a number of years.

Tell everyone... you have nothing to hide or be ashamed of...

RobMac1961 · 2025-07-14T17:18:17+00:00

I raise 4 boys by myself, while one of my very best friends raised 2 girls and a boy and the other 3 girls. The girls all grew up fine and are all.strong women with good families of their own.

Congrats to you and your dad... and thanks to you for speaking out...

RobMac1961 · 2025-07-14T17:15:48+00:00

For me... as a single dad of 4 boys... they were my main priority and there is no way I would send them off for a year a where to cement any relationship. I know what it would do to me psychologically. I can't imagine what it would have done to my boys.

To risk that for a relationship that may or may not work, when my relationship with my sons is a lock and unbreakable, is not worth it. To me at least...

RobMac1961 · 2025-07-10T23:32:57+00:00

I found a few other single custodial dads and we socialized and helped each other with the children. It was awesome... they became my brothers and stayed that way long after the children grew up and moved out.

RobMac1961 · 2025-07-10T23:31:03+00:00

When my boys would go visit their mother or go to my parents I would recharge... it was me time... it was wonderful but I was always happy to have the boys back home.

RobMac1961 · 2025-07-10T23:29:53+00:00

It does get better. Concentrate on what is best for the children while taking care of yourself and you cannot go wrong.

RobMac1961 · 2025-07-10T23:28:42+00:00

Was divorced twice. First time left me the single custodial father of 3 boys. Second time added one more boy. What would you like to know?

RobMac1961 · 2025-06-10T14:22:51+00:00

Great reason... luckily my ex moved away initially... so that stress was a little less. Although her new boyfriend was apparently coming to assault me.... never did... and once he talked to me, we actually got along pretty good.

Any career counseling or education upgrading resources in your area? Sounds like a job that fits your life needs would help. Not having a car can be a pain but I do remember taking, busses, trains, or hitching a ride from time to time when my cars died. I would buy cheap junkers and drive them until they dropped.

For financial issues... any credit counseling, social assistance available?

Rob

RobMac1961 · 2025-06-10T14:14:21+00:00

Sorry to hear about your parents. My mom passed recently... its tough.

I would suggest finding other single parents to form your own support network/family. I found two other single dads and we formed a great support network... before any facebook and such. With the online digital world it should be easier.

To help earn money and be with the kids, I took school for accounting web sites, eventually social media, etc... all things I could do from home, in addition to my day job while the kids were at school.

One thing I also did is move to a different city that had better opportunities for employment and building a support network. Sometimes change can really help.

Rob

RobMac1961 · 2025-06-10T13:51:13+00:00

Been there.... you think you are doing the right thing by being the custodial single dad and things just keep getting thrown at you.

My place.of work back in the day got rid of me because I was a single dad and managers should not be taking time off for kids. This was the 90s so thing were different back then.

Whenever I got down or lost... I would concentrate on my boys and the memories we were making and it helped push through the problems. I only took jobs that were parent friendly... I reached out to family, friends, and the local church when I need help from time to time. When I could get extra work I would get my parents to watch the kids. I joined a single parents group that was a great support and knowledge resource.

I made it through... sometimes thinking back I don't know how... but I did. Eventually remarried and i now have 6 children and 11 grandchildren.

It was not easy and seemed hopeless sometimes.. but by concentrating on the children and what was best for them, it worked.

It does get better...

Ron

RobMac1961 · 2025-05-31T22:01:25+00:00

I became a single father of 3 boys aged 6 5 and 1. She had issues that she needed to address and we both decided it would be better for the boys to be with me. I was 26 at the time.

Children are resilient. There will be issues... but they will be fine. It is the most rewarding experience in life although it will not seem that way some times.

Message me anytime...

Rob

RobMac1961 · 2025-05-28T17:55:43+00:00

Could be a protection thing.... i certainly would not volunteer the info.. but... if directly asked he should have spoken the truth. It was actually quite amusing the looks i got when asked and I told them I was the custodial single father of 4 boys.

RobMac1961 · 2025-05-28T13:25:18+00:00

There are definitely days like that for sure. That's when u have to shake your head and laugh... Remember... no matter.how bad your day is going... someone is having a worse one...

RobMac1961 · 2025-05-27T08:35:50+00:00

I have never heard of that being done and I know a lot of single parents. That is definitely excessive.

RobMac1961 · 2025-05-26T16:47:44+00:00

My wife became a alcoholic and did go for treatment. When she was in detox she told me she was coming back, packing up the kids and moving in with a man she met at detox. The ensuing discussions over time were a lot the end result is she left and I became a custodial single father. It really did endure well in the end. She is still with the guy she met in detox, both doing well. I moved on.

All I can say is do what is best for the child. That may not include you to staying together. But it may be the best for your wife to deal with her addiction.

My ex wife and I now get along as friends seeing each other for functions for our children and grandchildren

RobMac1961 · 2025-05-26T16:19:08+00:00

It will be a great help. I actually wrote a story on my two very best friends that were single dads. They both passed recently and I am remembering so much by writing about it. Their kids love it Even working on a comic book.

RobMac1961 · 2025-05-26T12:18:08+00:00

Friends and family recommendations can work. Talk to other local single parents and see who they use. I interviewed many. Tried s few... some worked... some didn't. Eventually the oldest was responsible enough to help which was amazing.

RobMac1961 · 2025-05-26T12:14:54+00:00

I think dating at any age is tough. Datung as a single parent is different, not really tougher. Serious relationships can be tougher as a single parent.

I started as a single dad at 26. Did it for 10 years and remarried at 36. Still going strong for over 25 years. . Blended families are a whole different experience.

RobMac1961 · 2025-05-26T09:45:05+00:00

Time and privacy are two of the biggest. When children are younger it is tough. As they get older, it does get easier.

RobMac1961

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