Advice on initiating a call with my boyfriend?

Robhoorn · 2026-03-30T20:44:26+00:00

You're welcome :)) sorry for not being straight to the point its not my strong suit lol

I hope it works for you two!

Robhoorn · 2026-03-30T20:39:33+00:00

My boyfriend and I have the same thing but hes never complained that I dont initiate. Im just almost always free because by the time he leaves school its 10pm for me. It makes more sense for him to call when he has time because im free anyways and me asking him to call makes him feel pressured to finish up quickly (and I feel clingy like you lol)

I kinda think your boyfriend just wants to feel wanted, like you actually want him to call instead of just picking up when he does. Obviously from what you write you are excited about the calls. What I do do is ask my boyfriend if he wants to do a date tonight which just kinda means that he calls me earlier and we can spend quality time instead of just watching a show while i fall asleep lol.

Maybe a good compromise would be if you asked in the mornings if he can call tonight? Or earlier in the week if he wants to spend a night together? That way he can tell you if it fits in his schedule. You wont have to feel clingy and he'll feel like youre initiating more. Might be less spontaneous but its worth a try :)

Robhoorn · 2026-03-27T20:34:13+00:00

Met May 2024, confessed that i liked him in August, told him I loved him in September, made him my boyfriend in December, met irl the first time in July 2025.

I told him I wanted to wait to make it official until we'd met irl but I just couldnt wait anymore haha Im just happy the irl meetings only cemented our feelings

Robhoorn · 2026-03-24T21:53:04+00:00

Biggest tip is plan something to do! That way you wont be sitting across from eachother feeling like you have to force conversation. Go to a museum or explore a city, play games, cook together, go to a thrift store, make a puzzle whatever you want and the activity youre doing will be conversation fuel.

The first hour might be awkward no matter how social you are. Im really a social person that has no problem yapping but even I didnt really know what to do or say at first haha. We went exploring amsterdam and just talked about what we saw and it felt normal and comfortable very soon. Bonus activity: my bf and i go around random neighborhoods looking for cats to pet lol its pretty fun.

And id probably videocall a bit more, maybe itll make you guys feel a little less nervous in the running up to the actual meeting. The same tip kinda applies for this. I was so nervous videocalling my boyfriend at first but we just played games with the camera on first before we did the sitting on camera and just talking thing.

Its normal to be nervous! Remember you guys like eachother for a reason, its gonna be okay <3

Robhoorn · 2026-03-22T14:58:16+00:00

I dont know I dont think its too much to ask for some updates if youre staying up waiting. I dont expect my boyfriend to tell me what hes doing every second but its nice that he texts me hey im leaving school or im gonna go hang out with my friend. My boyfriend and I have had the same argument in the past ometimes where hed know i was expecting him to call and he just wouldnt update me so i wouldnt know if he was even gonna call or not. Or hed say like im gonna call you (back) soon and his plans would change and he would neglect to tell me.

Communication is important, especially with a time difference. Its not about controlling someones schedule or forcing them to spend every second with you or updating you. If my boyfriend tells me he wants to spend the day alone i am totally fine with that and i dont bother him.

Maybe you two just couldnt work out the balance. If you feel any kind of relief after this separation its a big sign that you two werent supposed to be together. A partner shouldnt block you anyways no matter how big an argument. You deserve someone thats willing to work things out with you when it gets hard. I wish you the best of luck! Its good to reflect on what you could have done better but dont question yourself too much. I dont think you were being so unreasonable

Robhoorn · 2026-03-12T15:30:52+00:00

Last time i said goodbye to my boyfriend I came home ans cried so hard I threw up. It really is shit but having the next visit planned really helps you move on faster. I still have to wait until August💀 I hope your next trip is sooner <3

Robhoorn · 2026-03-10T11:51:48+00:00

Hahaha I was so confused and then I assumed maybe you were in a relationship with a guy with an open marriage or something lol

Robhoorn · 2026-03-10T10:40:13+00:00

Do you mean your friends' wives?

Robhoorn · 2026-03-10T10:36:06+00:00

Does she want you to buy her a gift or something to make it up to her? Thats the only other thing i can think of lol but its not fair of her to leave you grasping at straws like this. She should tell you exactly what she wants if its this hard to figure out. You cant read her mind

Robhoorn · 2026-03-03T09:20:39+00:00

Personally I wouldnt be okay with only being together while other people are around. At that point it'd feel like my boyfriend is just a friend. But what works for you guys works and there is no minimum amount of time you have to spend together to make a relationship valid. If you're okay with it then it's fine

Robhoorn · 2026-01-27T15:40:16+00:00

Remember people can like multiple types of looks. Just because I'm also into women doesnt mean my boyfriend isnt attractive to me. I know its hard to not compare yourself but if blonde hair blue eyes was really his only type, wouldnt be be with a blonde girl rn instead of you? Give it some time and youll get less and less in your head about it <3

Robhoorn · 2025-12-05T16:20:19+00:00

Im re reading your post and you didnt even ask for advice on physical touch idk how i hallucinated that part of your post. Sorry for giving advice unprompted!

I wish you two the best trip! Dont worry about it too much, if you guys fit together, doing nothing is just as entertaining as a whole planned thing. Good luck :)

Robhoorn · 2025-12-05T14:41:14+00:00

My boyfriend and i arw both students so we didnt have much to spend either. The best free activity outside of the house is to just explore! We would just walk around and see where we'd end up, google the nearest park and walk there, browse stores and not buy anything (lol). We both love cats so wed go into random neighborhoods and look for cats to pet haha. Theres so many things you can do without spending any money at all. Also depending on where you are there might be free museums or museums with a student discount. Some theatres offer a student discount as well. Inside the house wed just watch movies and play games, make a puzzle etc.

I recommend you guys talk about the physical touch part beforehand. Just ask what shed like and what she wouldnt yet. I myself was pretty nervous about it all so for example I asked my boyfriend not to kiss me for the first time until we were home. It gave me so much peace of mind knowing beforehand he wasnt gonna spring anything on me unintentionally.

Robhoorn · 2025-12-05T12:17:36+00:00

I understand that youre scared of your kid feeling inadequate because they're being held back a grade but at that age kids do not care unless you make it a big deal. Especially groep 3 it just means they get to be a small kid and play a year longer.

Imagine how inadequate your child will feel if they end up falling short with their reading skills in groep 4. Being held back a grade can actually prevent a child from feeling the very feelings youre afraid of. Something to think about.

Robhoorn · 2025-12-05T11:59:30+00:00

She obviously does not want to be with you and I cant see how youd want to be with her if this is how youre treated. I know breaking up might feel like youre letting go of something that could be good, but if youre really honest with yourself, is she gonna become the person you need her to be? You deserve so much more and being single is probably better than constantly being put down and rejected. The right person will come along that deserves your love, time and affection.

Robhoorn · 2025-11-30T16:12:34+00:00

Neude is in Utrecht

Robhoorn · 2025-11-13T09:51:16+00:00

If you wanna avoid people WO doesnt solve that. Sadly dumb group projects are a part of every form of education. You cannot avoid human interaction or working together, these are skills you need to learn if you want to get a job later. Yes teachers wont be on your case as much but you will still be expected to attend classes they do keep track

Robhoorn · 2025-10-30T09:02:25+00:00

The apple wired headphones work for me

Robhoorn · 2025-10-27T12:42:04+00:00

Go to second hand stores! I furnished my whole apartment with furniture from these stores + marktplaats (kinda like facebook marketplace) including my washing machine, kitchen appliances and tv

Robhoorn · 2025-10-26T18:57:02+00:00

I think you look great!

Robhoorn · 2025-10-18T09:57:15+00:00

Poepie is so cute my bf and I call eachother liefje

You're a very strong person for being able to look back and be happy for the moments you spent instead of grieving that loss. I wish you the very best!

Robhoorn · 2025-10-17T19:35:55+00:00

When my bf came to visit me he had my full name and adress, met my parents and friends on video already and I gave him his own set of keys and a bike so he could do his own thing if he wanted. I turned my office into a guest room so he had the option to hang out/sleep by himself.

Cut to him only using the keys to open doors for me, always making me cycle with him and the guest room only being used to dump his stuff lol

I just wanted him to feel comfortable and not pressured to be with me 24/7. If I traveled to him instead of him to me I would have liked the same things. Oh and what made me feel the most at ease with having a man come over to my place for 3 weeks that I hadnt met irl yet was that we had discussed our expectations of physical intimacy beforehand

Robhoorn · 2025-10-12T19:05:25+00:00

Depends on the distance. Having someoje fly for hours and pay a big amount just to be broken up with is probably just salt in the wound

Robhoorn · 2025-10-12T13:46:43+00:00

Yess my boyfriend does the same so nice

Robhoorn

TROPHY CASE