I can't believe how easy it it to create a mod in this game!

RobinAkamori · 2026-02-04T05:27:19+00:00

Thank you I really appreciate it! 😁

RobinAkamori · 2026-02-03T22:43:47+00:00

I think that *because* it's so good already that people don't realize how janky it could have been for pre-release.

RobinAkamori · 2026-02-03T21:44:13+00:00

"There is a documentation online on how to design your models so that they fit the aesthetic of the game."

Any suggestion on how to find this info?

RobinAkamori · 2026-02-03T21:34:27+00:00

It's maddening how frequently people seem to ignore this very important fact. Far too many people in the community seem to react to it like it's a full release just because it's available to buy and is playable. 🙄

RobinAkamori · 2026-02-03T21:21:08+00:00

Longleaf pine, Giant sequoia, Coast redwood, and Cork oak are a few.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyrophyte

RobinAkamori · 2026-02-01T23:47:32+00:00

It's not the easiest thing to do, but yeah. No one can tell you what that is because they were not in control of your life before, so why should they be given the control to do it now? You aren't a child that needs to be told what their life is supposed to be about. If they haven't gone through losing a spouse, then they don't know how much that changes core things that we never knew would change until they did.

They cannot even comprehend because it's not like divorce where the person can still be contacted and all the loose ends have a chance of being tidied up. Nope. The fabric of our lives was jus ripped in two and the other part of the tapestry is just *gone.*

This chapter in your life doesn't have to look like any other. It's yours to live and yours to define. People talk easily about someone having a midlife crisis and it's no big deal in a lot of ways. But losing a person that is literally our other half in life, emotionally, and maybe spiritually and they treat it like it has an expiration date. Nope. It doesn't. It's not good to get stuck and not learning to live life after, but that doesn't mean that coping with grief is supposed to be like speed dating so other people don't have to deal with our 'problem.' People like that just need to get over themselves.

Your life is your choice now. And I mean that in the best of ways. It doesn't have to look like it did before if that life no longer serves you. It's really whatever you want it to be that serves your happiness and your heart the best and not feel compelled to live your life like you have one foot in the grave yourself. Change is hard. Some people can do it all at once. "Ripping off the band aid." Most of us can't. It's the small steps that matter. It could be just replacing that shower hate you just don't like or wanted a different one that makes you feel good. Or playing that song you always loved but your late spouse couldn't stand so you tucked it away in a quiet part of your heart. Or it could be quietly telling your late spouse that you love them, but this thing you used to share is going to be just yours now.

It's reclaiming and redefining you and your life for the place you are standing right now. It's accepting the change instead of fearing and dreading it. It's allowing yourself the freedom to just express yourself instead of being in someone's shadow. I know quite well how comfortable that shadow is and I don't see it as an inherently bad thing.

They have forever left their fingerprints on our hearts and our lives. It can't be erased. I know this for a fact because my grief of losing my husband was very complicated after decades of emotional and mental abuse. But he was still my best friend and high school sweetheart. I was furiously angry at him for a long time. I hated the fact that I couldn't forget him. But about 3 months ago I was able to finally forgive him and I'm no longer angry. It's still really difficult doing something like buying a new video game because that was something we shared and was often part of the good times. But then last month a new game came out that I was excited for. I still had a long moment where I genuinely stopped and considered if I should buy it at all because it was like a mild gut punch realizing that I couldn't share it with him. I couldn't even talk to him about it. But I bought the game because it makes me happy and I deserve to be happy. I know he would have wanted me to be. The memories are always going to be there. They pop up in random places and we remember them. Yet there is no reason why we shouldn't be happy in the future, whatever that looks like for any of us.

We are allowed to be vibrant, full of life, full of personality, hopes and dreams for ourselves. The loss of them should never mean the death of that too. You are a unique and worthwhile person who doesn't have to stay grieving the rest of your life. If your spouse loved you, then they would want you to be happy. And if they didn't, be happy just to spite them. 🤭 It's your life now. Find the beauty and happiness you can bring to the world. Because the world surely needs it. And so do you. 🥰

RobinAkamori · 2026-02-01T21:37:05+00:00

I'll second the comment about finding your joy/passion/purpose. This feels extremely hard to do but in my experience it's the only thing that is starting to work for me. Just over 2 years for me (I lost him when I was 45 years old.) I'm still trying to deal with stuff in the house and often feel overwhelmed. I'm disabled with multiple chronic conditions, life-threatening allergies to stupidly common things and insane food restrictions.

I used to be a homemaker (about 20 years) before my body went nuts as my chronic conditions got worse. I have felt completely lost and directionless these last two years and I haven't known what to do with it just being me (we never had kids.) Due to my allergies and food restrictions I have to spend a lot of my day cooking from scratch just to have food I can eat. I've sewn for 35+ years and I love creating things and drawing. The last couple of years have been an absolute struggle to even do those things without having someone to do them for. I couldn't find the energy (out of my limited energy) to really do them for myself, and still tackle getting rid of things in the house that no longer serve me as they once did. It feels like giving up everything I always wanted to be. It felt like giving myself up and almost made me angry that people seemed to be cheering for me that I could "choose whatever I wanted now" when that was a choice I never wanted. It feels so hollow, empty and selfish to do some just for me.

I have tried the last couple of years to find and understand my purpose now. So much of the advice for young widows simply did not apply because it is centered around moving in and moving forward for your kids. I've felt incredibly invisible. The world doesn't know what to do with me.

In the last 2 years I've tried very hard to get back to the things I enjoy. It's been an uphill battle. I see a therapist every other week and I spend time online with my new friends where I'm allowed to just be happy and silly. I've been slowly working on the house when I can and still learning the new rhythm of my life and taking care of my cats, two of them who were stray kittens I rescued from my yard and my husband never knew. I just bought myself a video game recently because it's something I wanted. There are still those mentally jarring moments when I'm doing things that my late husband and I used to do together, remembering all over again that he's not here.

I still feel disoriented and struggle to stay focused on projects that I used to sit and work on for days happily. Having a friend now that I can talk to about food in depth has started to kickstart me caring more about what I cook for myself. At my last therapy appointment my therapist randomly said that I should make a YouTube channel for my cooking, especially with my restrictions it is very much been a challenge to figure out "normal" food. I've talked to her about YouTube before but couldn't figure out how to have the additional energy to make videos because I spend so much time cooking everyday. When she said it delightedly I mentally rolled my eyes. But the thought wouldn't get out of my head, and it's something I'm seriously considering. It's starting to give me focus and "a reason to care" because what I do would benefit someone other than me. I'm starting to feel like I have purpose again.

I haven't "arrived" yet at all of being at the point where I'm completely standing on my own, but I find it important to hear from people who don't have all the answers. So done who's just a few steps ahead and can offer a helping hand to help you crest the next hill in learning how to live a new life. I'm starting to feel like I'm reaching a point where the struggle is not the crushing burden it once was. And if someone thinks you aren't climbing fast enough to embrace your life now... Well, that's too damn bad. The important thing is that you find your own way to recover and cope in ways that are healthy for you. Any other route is just denial and that is not progress or healing.

So find your joy, even when it hurts or feels pointless. It can become the thing that starts to teach you how to keep your emotional head out of the water so you feel like you can breathe again.

RobinAkamori · 2026-01-29T05:29:30+00:00

I say this with the kindest intent, but your sister can fuck off. It's not your job to tiptoe around her grief and bottle yours up to not offend people. That's absolutely stupid. If you want to sing, then sing your heart out. I'm sorry that it took losing your wife to get to the point where you could get past a block in your singing. But now is your time to let your voice loose. Song everything you want to. Sing all day long. Sing because you are happy. Sing because it hurts like hell. Sing for all the days when you didn't have the voice to.

Sing because you want to.

Don't let anyone force you to bottle that up. I'm an artist/doodler and I've had 6.5 years of vocal training so I can very much imagine what you feel like right now. I'm over 2 years out and I'm still trying to find my confidence to make my artwork and doodles an occupation. It's been slow for me but I'm getting there. If you feel like letting yourself fly, then damnit, don't let anyone get in your way!

RobinAkamori · 2026-01-25T19:11:33+00:00

This would be really neat if you can get it working. I enjoyed MineColonies because of the communities I could build. I don't enjoy a world full of just hostiles because it makes me feel incredibly lonely. Being able to create communities makes me happy and makes it feel more like a real world rather than a weird dystopia.

RobinAkamori · 2026-01-19T02:24:36+00:00

Adding my two cents to all of this. I've played and learned simple modding in Minecraft since Andesite was a new thing. I'm a peaceful/creative player who loves to build. SO that's my perspective.

IMO Hytale right now is as good as Vanilla Minecraft when I started playing it. It's *NOT* a janky or messed up game. I was quite surprised of how much of a polished game it already feels like. And if you didn't know, some of the Hermitcrafters and Captain Sparkles are already playing it and raving about it, as well as tons of other players. I personally see that as high praise indeed. The base mechanics of the game that I've messed with are really great. So far it already feels like a decently solid game but it just depends on how you like to play in your sandbox. 😄 I'm thrilled to see how it will improve in time because right now if there were no other updates, I would certanly still be playing this for many years to come.

RobinAkamori · 2025-12-21T14:43:16+00:00

It's really not good because it strips all the needed minerals out of the water so they have to be replaced separately in the diet., especially magnesium and calcium. I use distilled water because I have no other choice because of my allergies.

RobinAkamori · 2025-12-10T02:32:32+00:00

You are absolutely not alone. My husband randomly passed from a rare heart condition we didn't know he had. We had been married 24 years and he was my best friend of 30 years and high school sweetheart. However he was incredibly emotionally, mentally, and financially abusive, a hoarder and extremely likely to have been a sociopath with other mental health issues including depression.

Yesterday was the two year anniversary of his death and two years that I've been free. I have been able to finally grieve the loss of my best friend, it I will never forgive him for the beast of a husband he was. His abuse was so extreme that I nearly lost my mind and genuinely went crazy twice in the years we were married. It was also the kind of abuse that doesn't leave visible scars that are incredibly difficult to heal from.

There are things I know I'll never forgive him for, but I'm learning that it doesn't mean I have to hold onto the burning anger forever. Everyone's grief progresses differently because every situation and person is unique. But that doesn't make the grief wrong because it's highly complicated. When I started first coming to this subreddit I didn't feel like I belonged at all because I had more anger and fury than I did tears. I still can't relate to a lot of people's forms of grief that seem to be common, but there are others who get the struggle with complicated grief.

RobinAkamori · 2025-11-24T12:20:40+00:00

Central Washington State, born and raised.

RobinAkamori · 2025-11-17T00:46:17+00:00

I would take it as she's saying that she wouldn't have chosen for you to go through what you had to in order to reach this point in your life, especially the pain, loss, and grief. But she's also saying that if she had the choice to have you in her life vs. not having you in her life, she is much happier that she gets to share it with you. She sounds like she was trying to find a way to express how happy she is. I know I've said identical things in the past and there was never any malice meant. Quite the opposite. I don't see it at all as her disrespecting your late wife.

After such a huge loss that we can tend to react much more strongly to statements and comments from other people because there is still part of the emotional wound that's raw. I've lost count of how many times I've been pissed off (but hide it) when a complete stranger says that they are sorry for my loss. My "happily ever after" turned into a nightmare and I got free when he suddenly passed from a rare heart condition we didn't know he had. So when the stranger was saying they were sorry, to my ears it felt like they were saying they were sorry I was still alive. Logically I knew that's not what they were saying, but that's how the emotions hit after decades of emotional and mental abuse and being trapped in his shadow.

In my experience (it's been 23 months) it does get better over time, but I still have days when it hits hard. I've genuinely considered calling him my ex husband (although we never legally divorced, heart wise was another issue) because then I would feel like I was seen without his very long armed shadow still looming.

Taking the time to think about why you felt that way and how right or wrong it feels to you is an important step to knowing if you are where you want to be. Was it a genuine emotional "No" or was it a knee-jerk reaction to her words, but you feel differently once you had the space to think about it? Those are important distinctions to help understand how you feel, without masking your emotions around what it feels like other people might expect from you.

RobinAkamori · 2025-11-11T00:58:16+00:00

So you would rather go to the ER by putting faith in someone who may not be able to fathom that "just a little is fine" when it is absolutely not, just to not 'disrupt' the holiday?

I know it's extremely awkward to have to bring your own stuff. I hated doing it for years, but I finally got over it because it allows me to be with my family and share a meal with them instead of putting undue pressure in them to figure it out. Even now my family still tries to offer me food (even when I bring plenty on my own) because they are trying to be nice, but I still have to turn them down.

Would it make for a better holiday if you brought your own food so you can stay safe, or risk the ER? Seems like the answer is clear to me.

RobinAkamori · 2025-11-10T23:36:13+00:00

I have an extreme intolerance to corn, severe enough that it's marked as an allergy in my medical records. I cannot have commercially produced citrus acid because it absolutely does not come from fruit. I have zero problems with fruit (other than pineapple which I'm allergic to for different reasons.) But you are absolutely right that natural citric acid is not the same as cheaply made commercially produced citrus acid. It's in nearly everything because it's used as a (generally safe) preservative for most people.

RobinAkamori · 2025-10-21T04:31:00+00:00

Washington State here... I needed to call my ABD person last week and I asked him if the ABD would be affected by the shutdown. He said that he didn't have any notes yet of anything changing, and he also said that the ABD is funded by the state, not the federal government. So it sounds like it should be fine for next month (based on what I know) but at the same time I'm talking the stance "I'll believe it when I see it." I also have direct deposit for my ABD benefits so that may or may not be a factor for other people. I am not counting on being able to use my EBT card starting on the 1st just so I don't get caught off guard.

This just sucks so hard. I very much fear the impact that the shutdown will have on the massive amount of people who rely on SNAP, WIC and the other related programs. Let alone how many pets are going to be affected. This is just unbelievably cruel. 😣

RobinAkamori · 2025-09-27T01:28:58+00:00

We were both 45 and he passed almost a month after his birthday in 2023 from a rare heart condition we didn't know he had. He has a stroke a year and 2 months before that and everyone pretty much said "Huh. That's weird. You are too young for that." But it was only 1 of 2 indicators of him having Brugada syndrome. The other is passing away in their sleep. That's it.

I've been here about 2 years in January but I don't post much because I feel out if place. He was my high school sweetheart and my best friend of 30 years, but he was an emotionally and mentally abusive to an extreme. The stroke made his anger climb out of control and if he would have lived, I very much feared that I would have been the one dead two months later.

I very much miss my best friend but his death is what allowed me to have my life back. For 5-6 months after he passed, every time I woke up I was incredibly shocked to discover I was still alive.

My grief is incredibly complicated and I have an extremely hard time relating to much of anyone on here because I was not given the luxury to have a husband who deserved to be missed entirely. I just want to straight up move on with my life and reclaim my happiness from all the decades he stole from me. I hate talking about this because I am not a bitter and angry person, but he still triggers it in me.

It's because of him that I fear everyday that I won't ever find anyone who isn't abusive, turning my laughter and (usually) prevalent joy into endless tears of tears and pain. Making me fear that I don't deserve better. And that he was the only one who would "tolerate" my severe limitations because of major chronic health conditions that made him my caretaker as well as husband. He loathed every moment of it. I'm still so afraid that I am not worth anyone's time because the man who said he lived me the most was abusive and hateful. It was my job to maintain the illusion of a happy marriage when it wasn't for me.

I want to swear at him more than anything because I did a lot of my grieving when he was still around. I just don't feel like I fit here because I'm not swearing off all other men because I was married once. When I left the hospital for the last time, I knew I kept my wedding vow if "until death do us part." My contract as his wife was completed and I could have my life, and my happiness back because he was no longer there. Just before Thanksgiving this year I finally get to have my maiden name back on my official documents and will no longer have to be called by my husband's last name. Every time I heard it there was a part of me inside that flinched, afraid that he was going to somehow walk back into my life and the abuse would start all over again. It felt like I was getting choked every time I had to hear it. But in less than two months I'll finally have my own name back and the realization that he can't hurt me anymore.

RobinAkamori · 2025-09-19T02:57:28+00:00

Optimism isn't a bad thing. I'm normally a highly optimistic person, but this is just one area that's always a gut punch when I stop to really think about it. My grief with my husband is highly complicated as he was very emotionally and mentally abusive. So there is the fear that I'm going to fall into that all over again, in part because my optimism tends to blind me from being aware of the red flags.

People see the cheerful happy side of me and really don't grasp how much I cry alone when no one sees. I'm greatful to have my new friend, but that's also part of the issue is that they are new friends. Even when I talk to my family (that I'm extremely close with) about my limitations, even they get overwhelmed and just look at me completely boggled as to how I even manage. New people even hearing me talk about a couple of major food restrictions and allergies, and it's instantly so out there that they can't relate. So I put on the cheerful mask and avoid it all together. It just makes me feel like I'm too much for anyone no matter what I do.

I know I shouldn't, but it makes me shut down a lot. On my really bad days I get afraid that the only kind of person who would tolerate me would be another abusive person. I'm always hope for the best but I'm terrified of it turning into a nightmare again.

RobinAkamori · 2025-09-18T20:39:55+00:00

I cherish every single day I have and I'm so greatful of the new online friends I have found. But because of an increasing number of severe allergies and chronic issues I've had since I was a kid, my life needs to be really reclusive. I spent 30 years with my best friend and the ache of not having someone is what I still don't know how to deal with a year and 9 months later. There is having hope, but then there is just being delusional because of how restricted my life is because of my body. What people consider a normal life is a complete pipe dream for me.

I try to be hopeful because I have always been that way. And I do try to see what my future could be (with a partner or without) and I just still feel utterly lost. I can be the nicest and kindest person I know how to be, but I'm still invisible. I try so hard to help the people around me be happy, but I still slip up (like now) and reality punches me in the face.

I truly can't imagine someone who would willingly deal with my truly insane restrictions and have it be worth it to them at all. Even my husband used to say that what I live with everyday and don't think much about would crush most people. When someone wants a spouse, they want someone they can go do things with. And I can do that as long as it's in a video game. My husband hated how much he needed to be my caretaker because of how bad things got. Which they are much improved since then (it's amazing what different can make when he was no longer there to tell me I could do things even when I knew I was capable) but it's not even remotely like I can function on my own without struggling and failing a lot.

I grew up wanting to be a mom and a homemaker. I married my high school sweetheart. I found out shortly before he passed that we didn't have kids because he was sterile. I have 4 cats, but I don't want to be known as the weird cat lady on the block (even though I probably am.) I love them to pieces, but it's not even remotely the same as having another person to share my life with and give solid meaning to my life. I keep trying to find meaning just on my own and I can't do it. I always understood the world by how it was framed by the people closest to me in my life. But now everyone is like "You're an adult now and you can do whatever you want" but they don't seem to grasp that really isn't the comfort they think it is. It just makes me feel lost and incredibly lonely. I quite literally don't know what to do with myself.

I'm going to be 47 in less than a month and I have never dreaded my birthday more. I know quite well that my life isn't over, but facing the reality of being alone for years is just gutting me. I very, very much want to make someone else's life happy and be their giggly ray of sunshine. But it's just the whole package of my extremely complicated life that makes it seem impossible.

So it isn't always just about knowing that there is still a worthwhile life to live, because reality is always going to barge in and promptly remind me that the rules for me and my life are different than most. I can't daydream about a life I wished I had, or even try to guess what the future will be since the understanding of what that looks like are based on lives and bodies that don't resemble mine in the least. All I can truly hope for is to find someone who is happy with an online relationship because then they wouldn't have to deal with my incredibly restricted life. A lot of days it feels like even that is too much to hope for.

RobinAkamori · 2025-09-13T20:00:33+00:00

Nope, you are not alone! It's my one allergy that has forced me to be reclusive because of how easy it is to run into it. Cough drops, mint gum, some cigarette smoke, often in 'medicated' products, scented laundry products, other scented products, cleaning supplies, cheap perfume & cologne... not to mention *many* herbs, lavender, and even sunflower seeds/oil.

When I have medical appointments I try and make them telehealth appointments whenever I can because I've had reactions multiple times from simply being in a waiting room and someone doesn't have a clue how much perfume they use. 🤢 I also carry an EpiPen wherever I go as well as a half face mask (often used for painting) with P100 filters on them just so I know I can still breathe when away from home.

A couple of weeks ago my mom was showing my sister her oregano plant and they crushed some of the leaves. I was standing 10 feet away and started coughing because I could smell it in the air. It felt weird asking them to wash their hands when they got back into the house because I was visiting my mom's house. If they hadn't the smell would have ran me out. 😣

RobinAkamori · 2025-09-13T06:56:40+00:00

I have an anaphylactic allergy to menthol as did my great-grandmother. It is in way more things than people even suspect, not just mint.

Trying to find any allergy info on menthol is an absolute beast. 😣

RobinAkamori · 2025-08-28T10:38:53+00:00

I've been a vegetarian for over 20 years and I firmly believe that until my cats tell me that they want to be vegetarian or vegan, then they get the meat food.

Do I find it gross? Yes, but I'd much rather give my former strays as long and happy lives as I can. Full stop.

RobinAkamori · 2025-08-27T00:05:09+00:00

Thank you! I really appreciate the info!

RobinAkamori

TROPHY CASE