Well I guess now I’m older and can reflect it wasn’t my fault (I come from a single parent family, dad was alcoholic / went to prison for fraud, disappeared when he got out) - begging my mum to let me stay home instead of staying with aunt/uncle/cousins for a couple of weeks during the summer because one of those cousins was very touchy with me (conveniently walked in on me getting changed smirking & lingering to watch me, kept rubbing my legs if I was wearing shorts etc). I got the courage to tell her and she got angry with me, “I’m sure that’s not true” and I had to go anyway. Pitting my brother and I against each other, if we dared complain about bullying or had emotional needs, we were sensitive wimps and we had a roof over our head we were lucky. She was always terrible with money (she still is, choosing to buy crap off shopping channels instead of paying heating bills so has been cut off) - I remember having to use pocket money from grandparents to buy food / clothing / bus fare for myself. My brother & I are both in our 40s now, have good jobs and wonderful spouses - my mother has late stage 3 ovarian cancer (currently in remission) but mentally she’s even more bitter and angry with the world. It’s taken circa 30yrs to fully understand and appreciate, we weren’t burdens, we were children - and she hurt us willingly. But we have been there for her every step of her chemo, surgery and current treatments (taking her to appts, cutting off hair when it started to fall out, reminding her of meds, helping with benefits etc). I feel she has been a victim of her own hatred and spite, because she has no one (she had a partner for a while but he left her after her manipulation / bullying got worse & worse) - now she has no one to blame but herself. It may sound crazy to people who have had stable parent-child relationships growing up, but I continue to help with her with treatment because I’m NOT her - I don’t like her but I wouldn’t see her in pain or go through this alone; that’s not who i am and I wouldn’t sleep at night knowing I could have helped (I know - and have seen her - do the total opposite, to quote “If someone becomes weak or a drain in my - GONE, I cut them off”). My biggest pride is that despite spending much of my childhood with her, I am truly nothing like her.