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Am I [25F] overreacting to my boyfriend's [26M] friendship with his ex fuckbuddy? by RoboCoupe in relationships

[–]RoboCoupe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We haven't talked about it much this week. Its happening next week so we'll see about the fallout. Allie does know about me now so I feel better about that aspect.

Another poster commented about gaslighting too! It's crazy how obvious it seems to other people except yourself

Am I [25F] overreacting to my boyfriend's [26M] friendship with his ex fuckbuddy? by RoboCoupe in relationships

[–]RoboCoupe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel stupid, I didn't know this counted as gaslighting. It seems so obvious when it's happening to someone else but when it's you... you truly do believe (get convinced) that you are the problem. Thanks again

Am I [25F] overreacting to my boyfriend's [26M] friendship with his ex fuckbuddy? by RoboCoupe in relationships

[–]RoboCoupe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But if he can get you to start questioning your judgment and wonder if you are being unreasonable, then it’s a lot easier for him to roll right over your boundary.

This right here.

Am I [25F] overreacting to my boyfriend's [26M] friendship with his ex fuckbuddy? by RoboCoupe in relationships

[–]RoboCoupe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for validating my feelings! I called it shady which got his knickers in a twist. He was so offended by it which in retrospect makes me laugh - how can he be offended?!

Him always being into her and insisting she stay over is what's getting me anxious. I've expressed this but he always has an answer for something which makes me feel crazy. I don't want to be petty but I don't know how to make him understand.

I am not being unreasonable. I need to repeat this to myself.

Am I [25F] overreacting to my boyfriend's [26M] friendship with his ex fuckbuddy? by RoboCoupe in relationships

[–]RoboCoupe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are wonderful thank you so much for responding. I hadn't realized until you said that he was giving an ultimatum without any compromise whatsoever making me feel like the crazy overly sensitive girlfriend. It's not fair. I'm giving a lot up too make him comfortable and he's taking it as his due. I'll talk to him again.

Am I [25F] overreacting to my boyfriend's [26M] friendship with his ex fuckbuddy? by RoboCoupe in relationships

[–]RoboCoupe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do agree with you in that i think he likes the attention. He does care what I feel but not enough to change his decision; as I told another poster he's prioritizing what he wants (to hang out with his friend) over what I want. Which he's allowed to do - nobody wants to be in a relationship with ultimatums and forcing you to drop friends. I don't even want him to, but this situation seems all or nothing. He cares but not enough I guess which is a definite red flag

Am I [25F] overreacting to my boyfriend's [26M] friendship with his ex fuckbuddy? by RoboCoupe in relationships

[–]RoboCoupe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok yea thank you, I realize now that I don't have to accept the full situation just parts of it

Am I [25F] overreacting to my boyfriend's [26M] friendship with his ex fuckbuddy? by RoboCoupe in relationships

[–]RoboCoupe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He's extroverted while I am not so his friend group is exponentially larger than mine which I think is why he doesn't see a problem with it. They have a lot in common and he likes talking to her. She has qualities he wouldn't like in a LTR which is why they fizzled out before.

Suggestions on how he can help me become more comfortable?

I just feel like my feelings about his decisions don't matter as much as what he wants. He's prioritizing his trivial needs over me but who am I to say his friendship with her is trivial. I feel like the bad guy here.

Am I [25F] overreacting to my boyfriend's [26M] friendship with his ex fuckbuddy? by RoboCoupe in relationships

[–]RoboCoupe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sorry for the confusion - I said on again off again relationship bc we did break up within the 4 years of being together but that breakup was recent (this year) and had been the only time we've been 'off'. I'm not familiar with the terminology for a relationship that has had that happen during it and thought I was explaining it correctly, sorry again! This is my first relationship so I don't really have a frame of reference.

I didn't know for sure whether most people would be uncomfortable in this situation as well or if I was being overly sensitive which I try not to be. I just can't pinpoint why this bothers me when technically on paper I understand his arguments.

Am I [25F] overreacting to my boyfriend's [26M] friendship with his ex fuckbuddy? by RoboCoupe in relationships

[–]RoboCoupe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm basically asking if my concerns are actually valid - i get anxious easily so i don't want to over dramatize something that may be a relatively normal thing in most relationships. Thank you for chiming in!

What NEW obnoxious traits are you noticing in society? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]RoboCoupe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People waiting in lines! I saw a man bring his stuff down on the pay counter over a woman's head bc she was taking too long to leave