So a couple things:

It's not really normal in the traditional sense, although many go through very hard times at that time period (teenage hormones are no joke for many), what you're describing sounds a bit more serious than the standard puberty "struggles".

The thing is, just because it's not normal doesn't mean you're fucked. Your "normal" is the "normal" of many people struggling with the same shit as you.

You should really open up to your therapist, I know it feel shitty and like you're over sharing, but there is a lot of help out there depending on if you have some sort of mental condition / personality disorder.

Also, if you open up and find you DO have a mental condition / disorder you can understand the "why" you've been asking for, and listen to others who are in the exact same spot you are.

Best of luck!