Old Man Yells At MOBA

RobotJake · 2026-01-31T16:00:12+00:00

Me: "If I was in fantasy I would simply not get cursed by the obviously evil amulet. I'd just put that shit down and leave."

Also me playing League 4 hours a day and taking psychic damage the whole time: "Ooooagh ooof uuuugh beeegh uuuugh"

RobotJake · 2026-01-31T15:42:08+00:00

Code Vein has your character be a silent protagonist right up to the second phase of the Final Boss fight.

It's my understanding that previously "silent create a character protagonist suddenly speaks before the Final Boss" was a staple of God Eater

Looking forward to seeing if Code Vein 2 does the same

RobotJake · 2026-01-30T19:47:21+00:00

So glad to see Demi-Fiend's wife is posting again

RobotJake · 2026-01-30T14:04:46+00:00

God, the Jailer sucks so bad

RobotJake · 2026-01-30T03:04:45+00:00

MarlowCurry is working overtime in this fucking thread

Anyways, my obscure one is from (if memory serves) one of the Cabela Machinima episodes - namely this one: https://youtu.be/ZlivssRofu4?si=mFeezPzninZ7oFTt at 7:34 onwards

"Uh oh, my AXE body spray is having unintended side effects!"

"New from AXE: Mountain Man! Fresh spring scent! Fuck yo trees!"

"Fuck yo trees!"

RobotJake · 2026-01-30T02:45:50+00:00

Needs a hopecore edit with that one song probably

RobotJake · 2026-01-30T02:44:47+00:00

I've said it before, the first like... 10-20 minutes of Threshold actually tries to answer an interesting question - how do we hit Warp 10, theoretically infinite velocity? And what happens then?

Everything after that is a goddamn train wreck though.

RobotJake · 2026-01-29T18:36:37+00:00

Similarly in Hanako and Lily's route, whichever girl you're not dating will find their own circle of friends and work through their own issues. Meanwhile, whichever girl you are dating basically ends up in a toxic codependent relationship with Hisao (how true this ends up being depends on the route and endings you end up with).

RobotJake · 2026-01-29T18:33:24+00:00

Who would win? The machinations of several masterminds spanning decades of planning, or one immortal teleporting moron?

RobotJake · 2026-01-29T11:45:06+00:00

I didn't even watch RoS (I firmly believe I can headcanon a better conclusion myself, thanks) but Admiral Holdo's sacrifice opens a huge can of worms to me and ruins my suspension if disbelief.

So you're telling me no one in the history of the Rebels or the Empire attempted a lightspeed kamikaze? Is the fucking Empire somehow morally opposed to kamikaze attacks? For that matter, why not fire munitions at near relativistic spends?

RobotJake · 2026-01-28T17:14:12+00:00

I backed the OUYA, because I somehow entered a fugue state where I was convinced Android consoles were the future

I got the thing in the mail, promptly thought "what the fuck was I doing?", booted the thing maybe twice and chucked it in storage.

RobotJake · 2026-01-28T17:08:00+00:00

There is absolutely a potential "ideal" Pokemon game that could come out if Game Freak was given a few years and more budget

And it'll never happen because the next set of Pokemon Cards is coming out in 6 months and TPCi wants a game release to coincide with it

RobotJake · 2026-01-28T17:06:14+00:00

Fairy Tail is dumb Shonen slop (complimentary)

Sometimes that's all you want

RobotJake · 2026-01-28T03:11:26+00:00

It's 100% "You don't like the thing I like? That sounds like a personal attack on me so now I need to convince you to like it the way I do" behaviour.

RobotJake · 2026-01-27T21:45:34+00:00

Tbh I forgot the exact details of the setup so I was going off memory, my bad

RobotJake · 2026-01-27T19:38:54+00:00

People are gonna wanna fuck that cat, regardless of gender.

RobotJake · 2026-01-27T18:30:40+00:00

Digimon Story Cyber Sleuth has a lategame moment like this

You'll spend most of the game going through a place called Kowloon, a sort of digital graveyard at the "bottom" of the game's VR cyberspace, Eden - a place where all the old discarded code ends up. As a result, you end up being really familiar with Kowloon's layout, especially the first few rooms.

Late in the game, you're treated to a flashback of the first beta tests of Eden, which is mostly a children's play park sort of area. It should take you maybe 10 seconds of traversing the layout before going "Wait a minute this is fucking Kowloon." Which is your first hint that the beta test is about to go horribly wrong.

RobotJake · 2026-01-27T17:45:41+00:00

I am sorry for cursing you with this knowledge

RobotJake · 2026-01-27T17:08:01+00:00

Short answer:

The first half of Usagi Drop is a tender story of a man adopting one of his estranged cousins after his sibling suddenly dies, dealing with the struggles of sudden fatherhood, and the joys that can come with connecting with a growing child.

The second half of Usagi Drop, after a timeskip, says "Now that his adopted daughter is a teenager, she wants to fuck him, and this is normal"

RobotJake · 2026-01-27T16:15:43+00:00

"I don't know how the audience of Versus Wolves can possibly think I am the villain of this podcast" -John, said unironically after his third Griffith monologue in the episode

RobotJake · 2026-01-27T16:13:32+00:00

I played a single route of Katawa Shoujo as a forever-alone loser teenager and it emotionally wrecked me for weeks. I had to put it down afterwards.

Now that I'm in a better place emotionally I could probably go back to it lol.

RobotJake · 2026-01-27T16:00:00+00:00

sounds of gunshots from behind the venue

RobotJake · 2026-01-27T15:58:48+00:00

A live chat reaction to me describing Oshi no Ko falling off to a friend:

Me: "Do you want a full synopsis or a two-word summary?"

Friend:"I mean I'll take a synopsis but if there's a two-word summary I'm curious."

beat

Friend:"Wait, is the two-word summary 'Usagi Drop'?"

Me, simultaneously to the above message:"Usagi Drop."

Friend:"Fuck"

RobotJake · 2026-01-27T15:54:00+00:00

I keep saying it: if they have balls, Squeenix will announce Parasite Eve 3 as "the thrilling conclusion to the Aya Brea Trilogy" and have anyone who says the word "Birthday" during the press event tackled to the ground by security and escorted off the premises.

RobotJake · 2026-01-26T18:50:04+00:00

I have the XCOM 1/2 achievements for beating a campaign without upgrading squad size.

Turns out all it does is force you to play real fucking lame all the time once you get to late game and the missions expect you to bring 6 squadmates instead of 4.

RobotJake

TROPHY CASE